Bipolar

insurety · 2023-08-12T14:42:18+00:00

Hey man, you do not have to accept being abused. Claiming otherwise is also abusive.

It is not your job to soothe your partner’s volatile moods. They are responsible for it. You can support them, but you don’t own that burden.

It’s OK to protect yourself and your sanity. If you’re like me or anyone else who was involved with a person with mental illness, you’ve probably caught some fleas yourself that you should work on in individual therapy.

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2023-08-12T14:24:04+00:00

It's a reason, not an excuse. She is still responsible for her actions. From experience, they do not like to hold themselves accountable. She could have made the choice to not act the way she did. She just would rather give in to her feelings and go off on you because that made HER feel better.

Don't listen to others. Get out while you can. She will make all kinds of promises, but it will be difficult for her to follow through. And she will have to keep following through forever. There is no point where they "get better" and can stop doing the hard work to keep themselves regulated. Eventually, it will take its toll on you. No one can be around someone like her everyday and not be affected. An analogy is if you lay down with a dog with fleas, you will eventually end up with at least a few fleas yourself.

Electronic-Purple293 · 2023-08-12T14:41:36+00:00

Relationship with bipolar woman 1976 to 1985, married last 4 years. She didn't cheat, but she was depressed a lot and would not let me stay in my own house when she was depressed. No cheating, but it still sucked. If you'd added hypersexuality and cheating, yours was 100 times worse.

Bipolar marriages have a 90% failure rate.

Leave. You can't help her.

Edit: fixed dates.

TerribleAmbassador69 · 2023-08-12T15:59:42+00:00

“Would you leave me if I had cancer?!” That’s a great line to pull on the old heart strings.

Thebadmamajama · 2023-08-12T18:31:20+00:00

A common theme is women who need a reason to blame you singularly.

There's a lot of social pressure on women when it comes to marriage and family. So any one who's insecure about themselves will immediately blame someone else or some other circumstance for their behavior. It's easier to explain... "It wasn't me, it was mental illness. It wasn't me, he never thought of my needs. It wasn't me... Etc etc".

What I think with divorce is two people who fundamentally aren't honest with themselves. Either that they changed, or they weren't meant to be with that other person.

And then it's personal, and personal accountability is something that escapes most of the Exs I read about

stent00 · 2023-08-13T00:02:17+00:00

No matter the mental heal.diagnosis it should not be a cover for being a real revolting person who does very crappy things period. Don't buy into that nonsense

tvtv3323 · 2023-08-12T10:42:20+00:00

Totally get it. We are responsible for what comes from us. She is responsible for what comes from her. You can have empathy for her (and yourself) on one hand but still hold her to the consequences of her actions, which is to leave the marriage.

The hard part is that her bipolar diagnosis is kind of her private info, so you have to be careful who you are telling what.

hotantipasta · 2023-08-12T19:35:25+00:00

My ex tried to pull that on me. I told her she had plenty of time to get help before I filed for divorce and that it was too late. Sometimes too much damage has been done to fix it.

Just because you know what caused the explosion doesn’t mean you can go back and fix all the damage it caused. Put yourself and kids (if you have kids) first.

PositivityKnight · 2023-08-12T20:52:24+00:00

I don't know the story, but I do know that bipolar people can get meds and therapy and manage it. There are some actions that you can't come back from though and I get it.

NemuranaiMachi · 2023-08-13T21:02:12+00:00

My ex wife is bipolar. It might be a reason, but it’s not an excuse. Being bipolar is like being tall. You get used to ducking under stuff. It’s annoying but it’s better than hitting my head. Bipolar is like that, but I’m my experience so many marriages end because the bipolar people just won’t do what it takes to not smack their heads into doorframes. And being in support groups for men and women married to bipolar people, this is not the exception. This is the rule.

One_Cartographer_465 · 2023-08-14T20:11:10+00:00

Look at it this way, you left BEFORE the bipolar diagnosis not because of it, therefore, not your problem.

Title	Bipolar
Author	FuckMatias
Upvotes	21
Comments	15
Date	August 12, 2023 10:01 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15p0l2b/bipolar/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/bipolar.1228459 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228459

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