Can’t Sell House

FunkyTownMascot · 2022-10-26T05:20:09+00:00

As long as you're okay with your wife banging dudes in the bed you'll be sleeping in while you're there on your days.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-10-26T09:47:48+00:00

> We could split time in the house and live elsewhere on our off nights.

Nesting is not an option. Read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ydlz1q/comment/itu3pnt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

> One of us could live there and sell when the market improves.

Another bad idea. Who pays for maintenance? Taxes? There is no guarantee that whomever lives there will upkeep the home. I've worked with hundreds of men and I've seen the how this turns bad. One guy I worked with was trying to evict his ex out of the home five years after they had divorced. The point of divorce is to eliminate all financial entanglements.

novadude55 · 2022-10-26T20:09:54+00:00

If you can afford to take over ALL the house costs, then you could ask her to move and talk to an attorney about a deferred sales. I'm in the same boat and this is how we're working this...

Once she moves out, I'm taking over all the house costs, mortgage, interest, tax, repairs etc. We are getting an appraisal done. Our agreement is as follows...making up some numbers so you can get an idea. Let's say the appraisal comes in at $1M. I owe $500K in the mortgage. That leaves about $470K in profit should we sell the house (minus listing and paying real estate folks). She will get $235K when *I* sell the house. Regardless of what the house sells for. And when I decide to sell it. Or I can buy her out down the road at that price. My risk is that the house sells for less than $1M, I still owe her that. However, on the plus side, if I hold on to the house, perhaps it sells for more than $1M. We will have it in a legally binding contract, real estate attorneys helped with the deferred sales scenario.

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ijustdontcare74 · 2022-10-26T10:59:38+00:00

Tough situation. You may have to accept a lower offer to offload the house. Nesting or one of you remaining in the house is a terrible idea. It’s almost guaranteed to invoke fighting and kill any chance of a peaceful coparenting arrangement. The only time I’ve seen that work was he moved out to a rental flat and they had a legal agreement to deduct the cost of rental from the sale of the house prior to the division of the profits. That way neither was out of pocket and both had an incentive to sell quickly and not muck about. However they didn’t have kids. When kids are involved a court can just decide to award her the house so the kids have a stable environment and you are out on your ear AND having to pay for both houses.

jimsmythee · 2022-10-26T15:03:36+00:00

Any house will sell, just at "what price?"

If there's no interest in the house, then it's priced too high. If you owe too much on the house, then you're upside down.

You have several options? In your divorce, you can put down, "SpouseA keeps the house and pays the mortgage for 2 years and then sells the house or buys out the equity of SpouseB."

One of my friends had to do that a few years back. Luckily the market skyrocketed and they sold with a profit.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2022-10-26T16:37:39+00:00

Could use use part of your 401k, if you have one, to buy her out?

Rjs617 · 2022-10-26T15:49:54+00:00

Maybe I’m an idiot, but I let my ex stay in our house, which we co-own. We split property tax, insurance, and maintenance. She pays the mortgage and utilities. She has to maintain the house in good condition with no major alterations, cannot rent out rooms without my approval, and cannot place liens on it.

She has the right to stay until our kid is in college or turns 18, at which point I’m figuring the mother of all court battles will ensue—or she can just leave and we sell like we are supposed to. Or, I can negotiate her continued tenancy as part of a modified support agreement.

People on this sub are salty, and for good reason. But, I wouldn’t want to sell in this market, nor disrupt my kid’s school and social life. So, if you can live with it, it is possible. As for your ex banging other dudes in your bedroom, I’ll speak for myself: I could not give a sh-t who my ex bangs or where, as long as my son is okay. Her life is separate from my life (other than financially), and thank God for that.

As I’ve said elsewhere, if the house is nice and payments are affordable, it puts golden handcuffs on your ex because if she does anything stupid, she might lose her cushy situation.

Ask your lawyer, and see what he or she says. Mine was very focused on the child’s well-being, and so was supportive of this arrangement both for continuity of care and to discourage move-aways.

Good luck.

upvotersfortruth · 2022-10-26T08:04:45+00:00

One of us could live there and sell when the market improves.

This can get very messy and needs tight wording if she's the one benefitting.

We could split time in the house and live elsewhere on our off nights.

Nesting arrangements are complicated and don't often work that well but worth a shot if you can be civil with one another and draw that proverbial duct tape line for boundaries when the other is away.

I started practicing just before the housing crisis stemming from 2008. Everyone was underwater or stuck and a lot of people got hurt really badly financially. Either take a bath or take a loan, usually selling a house is just a function of price - but with interest rates how they are now, it's a different dynamic.

ZombieJetPilot · 2022-10-26T16:29:37+00:00

I'm actually in a similar situation. We have it worded in the agreement that I will sell the house next year and we will split the equity at that point.

captainchippsixx · 2022-10-26T19:35:47+00:00

Both stay in the house and ride it out until you sell. Or you could rent it.

InWeGoNow · 2022-10-27T00:00:18+00:00

Sell at a loss. House loss=sanity gain

Gattsama · 2022-10-27T07:34:14+00:00

No real advise just wanted to wish you the best of luck selling quickly. The STBX refused to even discuss selling the house back in May-June when it would have sold in < 2wks with multiple escalation clauses. She is now finally agreeable to listing, but refuses to leave / move out until it sells. So the house has her, her brother and a bunch of pets. Was finally able to convince her to have the place unoccupied for 1wk (better than nothing, cost me $2k, which I'm asking for a credit at final settlement).

My only fear in this entire process is that the house doesn't sell. That means I'm on the hook paying for everything until who knowns when. We have enough equity I will take ANY even semi reasonable offer. In the greater Seattle area so fingers crossed.

Best of luck to you brother

Title	Can’t Sell House
Author	workingscholar
Upvotes	6
Comments	19
Date	October 26, 2022 3:03 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ydn9yk/cant_sell_house/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/cant-sell-house.1137285 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137285

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