Child Support Question

fewdo · 2026-02-15T16:10:23+00:00

If you need the money, go ahead. If not *shrug*. My ex works such shitty jobs that she was going to pay so little that it wasn't worth it. We traded my spousal support (alimony) for her child support and it was like 10k I could have gotten from her over the 20 years. F it, I let her keep her money. I'd rather my kid's mom be doing a little bit okay. If the money situation was reversed and she was the higher earner, I don't know. I'm a proud man but day care is spendy!

IcyMycologist4837 · 2026-02-14T19:17:58+00:00

Follow the formula. Start getting if if that is how it calculated. Then you can put that money in an account for the kid or send back to your ex sometime later. Stupid but you can.

leaving4me · 2026-02-13T14:07:16+00:00

Child support does more than help with the expenses of raising a child. It allows the child to experience a similar lifestyle with both parents. There is nothing worse than having a child prefer one parent over the other simply due to material things....toys, luxuries, etc because the other parent is struggling with limited finances due to a great imbalance. File for the support and don't think for a second if the script was flipped she wouldn't do the same.

SteviaMcqueen · 2026-02-13T00:12:35+00:00

Do it today

CRobinsFly · 2026-02-12T22:59:20+00:00

Welcome to the gaslight of modernity: child support is only for mothers. Wrong.

File for child support if not to use it to gain leverage. She would 100% do it to you if the situation were reversed.

These women wanted this.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-02-12T22:23:06+00:00

You must.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2026-02-12T18:52:58+00:00

I am on the receiving end.

DO NOT feel bad about getting it - it is for your kids. Roles reversed your ex would 100% go after you for it.

Current you might feel bad but you're going to need these funds to help support your kids. At the very least you could open accounts for your kids (529/savings/ect) and just stick the money in there.

I feel like I’m doing something wrong by filing for child support.

Do not let gender dynamics stop you from filing. And if someone is giving you crap for it, they arent the ones paying your bills and trying to make sure your kids have a equitable lifestyle in both homes.

EDIT: she wont have say when you file - the state will do a calculation and even IF she tries to fight it her wages will get garnished if it's pushed far enough.

Vollen595 · 2026-02-12T18:27:28+00:00

I was granted CS. But I haven’t finished the paperwork with the State because she’s leaving both me and my kid alone. I will be filing because it’s my kids money, not mine. Do I feel wrong about it? Not even slightly. It cost me a small fortune to get rid of her not to mention the financial wreckage she caused. I told her I’m only upholding my wedding vows as well as she did so don’t expect anything truthful out of my mouth. Bonus she was such a nightmare of a human being the court ordered no contact with her own child until she’s an adult. That’s priceless. And I didn’t request no contact, the court ordered it.

Child support is like a student loan. It never goes away. Ever. Her past due CS is almost a felony amount and nothing would make me happier than seeing her face front page on my states deadbeat parent website. One way or another she’s paying.

Outside-Jicama-8468 · 2026-02-12T17:58:00+00:00

I will be getting CS once this is all finalized in 30 days. I plan on marking down where every cent goes so that I can prove its going to support them and not me. But, with my income, I can scrape by without it. But she makes roughly 60% more than me, so she agreed to pay.

funnyman6979 · 2026-02-12T17:08:11+00:00

Don’t worry, it’s about the kids and if given the chance I would have taken on both kids and flipped the script. Run with it, not out of spite but to ensure needs are met.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-12T16:28:34+00:00

Stop caring how it makes you feel. You aren't some failure because you're receiving CS. It's not a sleight against you. Remember, it's for the benefit of your kids. Even if you can financially provide for your kids, you take the CS guilt free and put it aside for college.

survivingtheyellowbr · 2026-02-12T15:09:07+00:00

File for it - open a bank account for your child and put the money in there.

If you get sick or cannot earn an income anymore who or what’s going to take care of your child.

Think about your child’s long term future.

Most of us are paying CS into a black hole. We don’t see where it’s going and there is zero accountability for how it’s used.

Count your blessings your not the one paying to her.

It’s for your child - do it !

0neMinute · 2026-02-12T14:54:34+00:00

I have 50/50 custody and still pay child support. For the sake of all men, file for it. Women deserve equality and the responsibility that comes with it. In my preference no one pays child support if even custody and go from there. Atm women want to be women plus all the benefits of equality.

domo_roboto · 2026-02-12T14:53:47+00:00

Child support is for the child and it's her child too, right? Do what's right for your child.

BipolarSwordfighter · 2026-02-12T14:46:25+00:00

I would be very interested to see statistics about men vs women receiving child support. Dude if you can get it, do it. Do it for all the men paying their ex wives.

Title	Child Support Question
Author	butwaititgetsworse14
Upvotes	4
Comments	16
Date	February 12, 2026 2:41 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1r2v5tx/child_support_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/child-support-question.1573312 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573312

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