Divorce at 50

BatGuano52 · 2024-11-22T06:17:41+00:00

I turned 50 a couple of months after filing, 26 years together, 22 married, first and only marriage, one son.

Like alot of the other guys, our son noticed the fighting and the bullshit that went on. I had more than one "Dad, why does mom act like that?"

And I was losing my shit, more frequently before, I was better able to keep my temper under control after I realized I was reacting to her.

It was less frequent but the blowups were quicker and getting to the point that I was just telling her to go fuck herself straight to her face.

Our son started walking in on us fighting and asking us if we were going to tuck him in and I knew he was getting in the middle to stop the fight.

I realized that, besides being miserable myself, I was setting a horrible example for him.

He misses us being together as a family but he also realizes that it's a lot better when he and I can go places and do things and not wonder what mom is going to get pissed off about next or if Mom is going to throw another temper tantrum at an amusement park.

Your kids will be much better off for it and you will, too.

Also remember, if your wife drags you down to the point you can't take care of yourself, how can you be a good father to your daughters?

Good luck

geedogox14 · 2024-11-19T08:43:00+00:00

Kids are exceptionally perceptive, they may well have already picked up on the disharmony.

Sorry to say it like this, but you need to be just a little bit selfish. If you are unhappy, then just do it. There is never a "right time" for decisions like this. Prioritise your happiness and mental wellbeing

Good luck man

whoisgodiam · 2024-11-19T05:01:55+00:00

Why did you get married a second time 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

MissionToe3030 · 2024-11-19T04:09:43+00:00

You other option is keep it going and then at 55 or 60 you will hate yourself not divorcing earlier. Can’t get back time.

redragtop99 · 2024-11-19T03:38:07+00:00

I’ve been in this as a kid. It’s miserable to have your parents fighting all the time. I was 16, and wish my parents had split up sooner. I’ve also been through a divorce as a man, and it sucks, but I don’t think you could be the best father you could be if you’re unhappy all the time. Good luck!

streetsmartwallaby · 2024-11-19T03:06:40+00:00

The kids will be fine. I’ve been divorced twice (young and dumb for the first) but only kids from the second. They are SO much better without all the chaos and bullshit our then-toxic relationship had. They are happy and well-adjusted teenagers now.

As long as you and your STBXW are respectful to the kids snd each other they will be fine. My ex-wife was very messed up but I give her credit for never ever speaking ill of me to the kids. To my face in private? She was a demon. To the kids? Never a bad word. I suspect deep down she knew how it would work out (she left years ago - several years after the divorce - and we haven’t seen her since)

Dry_Yogurt2458 · 2024-11-19T01:06:13+00:00

I'm just on the other side of 50 and my 2nd divorce completed 12 months ago.

The first I got married far to young (Military marriage) the 2nd she turned into her abusive mother (That's the short version)

My kids are much more happy now that we are separated. They have a safe, calm place to come to whenever they wish and when they are with me they see me happy and not walking on eggshells.

You have a choice, you can be miserable until the end of your days or you can walk away and find your peace. I held on for far too long and in the end the kids probably suffered for that. Walking away will, in the long run, make your kids happier and improve your relationship with them.

Good luck and do what is right for you not what you feel is right for everybody else. Life is short.

tryig2figureitout · 2024-11-19T00:33:55+00:00

So I’m on my second divorce. Both marriages have kids. Trust me they will be fine. Keep them the priority in your life. Dont make the mistakes I’ve made. You got more time behind you than in front of you. You can’t stay miserable. Life at this point is too short. Good luck brother. We are all rooting for ya.

Title	Divorce at 50
Author	Emotional-Ad-2276
Upvotes	9
Comments	15
Date	November 19, 2024 12:25 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1guk6zc/divorce_at_50/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-at-50.1536166 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536166

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