Divorce or grounded?

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-06-29T15:28:11+00:00

She's been thinking about divorce for a long time. This is just a weak excuse to throw it out there. Make no mistake, she's already 10 steps ahead of you.

warrior_up · 2022-06-29T15:29:59+00:00

Haa who gives a shit, fishing. The major issue here is the use of divorce threats to control you and make you live in fear and anxiety so even when you are fishing you cant enjoy it, or you have to start lying about going fishing and change clothes in your car because its just not worth the risk of divorce threats when you get home....trust me I did that, just golf vs. fishing. it's a slippery slope, and once the threats start us men start hiding shit and it typically is the beginning to the end. Of all things you do now and moving forward, is DO NOT not live in fear for doing something that makes you happy, DO NOT fucking entertain her hissy fits because you have hobbies that she was once cool with, DO NOT negotiate with terrorist, the moment you let her know that it upsets you the more you're operating in her frame because a happy wife is a happy life, NO FUCK THAT you're not responsible for her happiness, BE A MAN and do whatever it is the fuck you want to do (within reason obviously) she is not your mother, she's a woman that you allowed to be around. She needs to get her ass in the kitchen, she can throw a hissy fit in there while cooking up the fish you provided for dinner. Take her fishing next time

akihonj · 2022-06-29T16:36:09+00:00

Ok dude this is a mental game and you need to be smart about it.

She's already been thinking of divorce for a while, she has probably already spoken to a lawyer and I guarantee at least three of her divorced friends who have convinced her the divorce will be easy and she'll be set for life, you'll be an onhand baby sitter, she'll get all the dick she wants and get to choose the very best man out there and you'll be paying for the pleasure of it all.

Now you need to remember this, women generally love somebody they respect and they respect those they fear.

Don't ask me why, it's fucked up but that is a general rule, even women themselves hate that but as much as they'll deny it, look around you, look at how they behave towards they fear and respect and love opposed to those they don't.

You also need to remember the power resides in the one who cares least.

So if divorce is on the table you have a choice, ease back on the harsh words, be calm and speak with both authority and calmness. Look her directly in the eye.

Then ask her what is truly going on, but don't let her answer. Tell her this, you put divorce on the table and I don't read minds so I'm now giving you a chance to be honest, if you want a divorce fine but here's how it's going to go, I'll sure for 50/50 custody, no alimony and no child support given equal custody.

The house will be sold and we'll split that along return for investment, meaning you'll get what you earned from what you've put in.

We'll have a schedule to have the children and that won't get broken, you will not contact me for anything outside of direct information related to the children otherwise I'll treat that as harassment and that will also go before the court.

You will also leave before the end of the week, you want to go down the divorce route you will be the one to leave and you'll do it today, of course things will be difficult but I've cooked before and washed clothes I was fine before you and will be after you.

As for future finances, I will sue for a full clean break, meaning you cannot have anything more than what the court agrees and after that nothing, not a single penny more. No matter what happens in future you will get nothing more.

Or you can be honest, we can try to work this out, attend therapy as a couple if needed.

So that but do not lose your temper, do not shout, be ice cold as though you've planned every move and everything you'll say for the last year, let her see a very different and dangerous side of you she hasn't seen before.

You don't have to be violent to be dangerous, your words will convey that danger and trigger that fear in her, if she still goes down the divorce road then you know the arguments are purely a pretext for divorce, if not then she's acting out and shit testing you.

CrazySanta7 · 2022-06-29T15:05:18+00:00

What you think is the reason 'divorce' was brought up is seldom the real reason. I noticed my ex wife picking fights over little things and when i argued back....divorce finally got brought up. It came out she was thinking about divorce for months.

But to answer the question, she should have communicated her displeasure at the concert, not berate you later. But again.....it's common for a woman to get into arguments on purpose so you look like the bad guy and it's a perfect opportunity to bring up divorce. Its crazy how some people claim to be great at communication, but really suck at it. If she brought it up, give her what she is asking for.

hikeruntravellive · 2022-06-29T19:21:13+00:00

She’s already made up her mind to divorce and this is just an excuse. Lawyer up now and protect your assets.

playerknowmore · 2022-06-29T17:27:46+00:00

When small things become big things; the big thing is them. To me at this point I wouldn't care about her reasons; I'd be in protect myself mode. It's okay to see what divorce looks like without pulling the rip cord.

jkw118 · 2022-06-29T20:22:48+00:00

So if divorce is one of the options she's brought up.

It's simple, the question is how long have you been planning this. And decided now that this is the reason that she's choosing to split on.

She's angry/upset about alot of stuff, more then likely.

It sounds like she knew about the fishing ahead of time or at the same time as the last minute concert. You don't break up over leaving early at a concert when you have 3 kids together.

My ex had preplanned the divorce for 5 years out of a 10 year marriage. She wants to split fine, but be honest with each other about why. And realistic about how it's all going to work for the kids. You don't stay together for the kids, but you do your best to make sure their environment is not completely wrecked by yours and your ex's f ups...

Empty-Temporary-5916 · 2022-06-29T23:40:44+00:00

Man please hear me when I say this.. her plan is to eventually stop you from hanging with your friends and anyone else that can keep you mentally aware of her games. There is so much that I could speak on with this but it would be too long. The best thing for you to do at this time is to keep having a life, if she can get upset and threaten you with divorce for something as simple as fishing with a buddy for his birthday, she doesn’t love you, she wants to control you. She is manipulating you with the arguments and threatening divorce because her plan is to eventually have you walking around as a prisoner in your own house. Man I went through this for almost 15 years before I woke up. Stop this now or prepare for a long miserable life….

Exxecutes · 2022-06-30T02:26:32+00:00

Your not divorced yet. Seems shitty that she’s throwing the big D into your fights. Your at the exact point in time that I wish I could re live. In my case the outcome would be the same but for you… this is the perfect time to start being unusual. Start going out with friends, stop living yourself for her. Literally just do you and laugh along the way. If she wants a reason to bring up getting a divorce make it worth your while. Don’t figure out anything, just have a blast. She’s tied to you too pal. Make it worth it

patently_pleasant · 2022-06-29T17:41:10+00:00

My guy, this is so hard to follow. First there is a concert, then there is fishing, then a dog and kids. There are so many different times listed. Did you mean leaving the night before at 9pm? Was that when you “ditched” her? And was the plan for you to go fishing the next day and she got get a dog? Punctuation is your friend

HelixFish · 2022-06-29T15:07:19+00:00

I think both of you are acting like 14 year olds. Are you both serious? Communication would have fixed all of this before it became a problem. If this is what it takes for you guys to get divorced then there is no hope for you. You should both go see a counselor together and work on honesty and communication issues.

warrior_up · 2022-08-04T01:06:37+00:00

F d try it R4

Title	Divorce or grounded?
Author	Different_Status6390
Upvotes	16
Comments	41
Date	June 29, 2022 2:46 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vnhhy0/divorce_or_grounded/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-or-grounded.1122073 https://theredarchive.com/post/1122073

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