Done

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-01-21T21:44:17+00:00

I also was in a sexless, loveless marriage and there is nothing so painful and lonely as lying next to the woman you “love” and knowing nothing will ever change. My only advice is to get out asap before you turn into a bitter, angry person. Once divorced you will be much happier.

CrazySanta7 · 2023-01-21T19:16:50+00:00

Bro, the minute you negotiate hugs, it's over. Sex dwindles in almost every marriage. Our biology is not meant to be with one woman forever. Guys want unlimited sex from unlimited women. Women are hypergamous and are usually looking for a bigger, better deal. You can do all the chores in the world, but it's not going to matter. You are only as good as you were yesterday because women operate on emotion, not logic.

Don't concentrate on the other guy by putting him down. Believe it or not, that will make her want him more. Guarantee it's probably been physical if he is even remotely in the area. Women need a place to land. This is why most women keep male orbitors on their friends list. There is usually back up potential on her social media. And guys will wait around ready to pounce when opportunity comes up.

Sorry you are going through this. It will suck for awhile, but start rolling and protect yourself. This is a business now. Keep emotions out of it because that's how attorneys get rich. Just know a lot of your situation is extremely common. Hang in there bro.

Alternative_PayCheck · 2023-01-21T18:13:34+00:00

Start recording for your protection. If she does anything to endanger the kids, call the cops.

Be ready to get kicked out of the house by the cops. Take things you care about and give them to family.

Maybe save some cash, or gift cards at family's place soon you have money to live.

Tell your family what's about to go down.

Be in a good place at work, you wont get a promotion while going though divorce.

captainchippsixx · 2023-01-21T21:48:08+00:00

Don’t say shit till your 100% ready. Move any valuables/ important items out of the house to family or storage with out her knowledge. Start stashing some cash in small amounts from cash back. Keep it in your car? Or a small lock box at work? Make sure you have your spare car key and she has no access.

I would adjust the credit limits down on your credit cards. Put alerts on the accounts. Change passwords. Set up a savings account with your name only (online statements only) with minimum balance.

playerknowmore · 2023-01-21T23:56:47+00:00

When she says no affection; she means not for you. No woman is stupid enough to go without sex for ten years and divorce when she is well into her forties. That is a romance death sentence. Get out before this gets messy.

If she is not looking now she will be. You were the best she could get when she married you. Ten years later with two kids; she is not heading into the same dating market. No Hallmark is ending is waiting for her. She'll no doubt have success dating, but getting someone to take her seriously is a whole different story.

If you have your shit together; you will fair much better finding long-term relationships.

thenotknown2022 · 2023-01-22T06:02:58+00:00

ive always said to single people or people dating that you can be more lonely in a marriage than really being alone.

al least if you are single and alone, you have the hope and the possibility of meeting someone.

if you are lonely in your marriage you are alone and trapped.

the lack of respect is also intolerable. even if you suck it down and take the lack of respect and dont snap back at her, you will resent the hell out of her. it will basically be like poisoning yourself. and if you snap back at her, then you will just fight all the time. so the lack of respect is a lose-lose, no solution to that, its a marriage wrecker.

sicrm · 2023-01-21T21:23:10+00:00

let your lawyer do the negotiations.

negotiating hugs isn’t going to get you anywhere marriage wise or on a personal level.

jimsmythee · 2023-01-21T23:33:24+00:00

Time to divorce. You’re right, you can’t live the rest of your life like that.

Divorce her and get as much custody of your kids. The “you” of 5 years from now with thank you!

rumble_salt · 2023-01-22T15:22:26+00:00

All she wants is your paycheck and the security you provide.

If you leave her and get a gf, you’ll be the biggest mother f’er on the planet for leaving her and your children for another woman.

Make the divorce fast and clean.

Comfortable_Bug2930 · 2023-01-22T08:58:00+00:00

Shes unhappy about something and has hit the stage of losing hope. Ive learnt that most men are very poor at figuring this out (myself included). We can’t see past what we are doing right, so like you did here we list all the things we do to contribute.

Ive started to change my perspective to try and understand why this happens. Yes, as a man who works full time and is on the surface a good bloke, its upsetting when they say they’re not happy.

Problem is instead of really digging in and understanding why, we tend to get defensive and list off all the great things we do.

I can imagine that being pretty infuriating from their perspective, it also shows them how much we don’t understand what they are unhappy about and adds to the feelings of hopelessness.

Hopelessness leads to an angry, passive aggressive wife that criticises everything you do. We make the flaw of thinking they’re unhappy about the things they’re picking at when in reality its something completely different.

I know for a fact this is whats happened in my situation, do I deserve it? Can I agree with the reasons shes gave for being desperately unhappy? Not really. I don’t think they’re completely fair and I think shes contributed to a lot of it but won’t admit it.

However, once you understand that this behaviour comes from them feeling hopeless and unheard with no chance of things improving, it at least makes some sort of sense

Tiger_27 · 2023-01-22T11:55:46+00:00

Did you ask her the name of her boyfriend? Cuz nothin here makes any other sense that that.

Title	Done
Author	chunckyd
Upvotes	15
Comments	20
Date	January 21, 2023 6:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10hxag9/done/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/done.1149465 https://theredarchive.com/post/1149465

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