Ex's car broke down, can't make exchanges

FUMoney · 2023-03-26T01:30:10+00:00

You’d look ridiculous seeking an emergency hearing because the ex’s car broke down and she awaits a new one. Her story is both believable and understandable. Give her the weeks to get the new car.

If this drags on for months, then you can raise it to the next level, first by demanding compliance with the temporary orders. This is the appropriate approach.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-03-25T22:17:25+00:00

Are the kids not going to school?

Why can’t you make exchanges at the school?

YouPeopleAreGarbage · 2023-03-26T01:31:24+00:00

It's important to be able to co-parent effectively and respectfully. There will be times when, whether you like it or not, you'll have shit happen to you and need her help. (I just changed jobs and needed my ex to help with a couple of school pickups. She did the same a few months prior.)

You have to squash the negativity and work as a team for yourselves and your kids. What impacts her affects the kids, both good and bad, don't forget that. They'll notice her stress, she might take out her frustrations on them, etc.

There's too much big stuff to sweat the small stuff, cut each other some slack, and make things easier and more hospitable for all.

That being said, if there's that much drama still, then certainly document everything. Cooperation makes you look good, and women tend to be narcissistic and overly confident in court. Tangible proof, combined with the juxtaposition of a calm man and a loud woman, speaks volumes. Be the one who has their shit together.

warwww · 2023-03-26T00:38:09+00:00

Be the bigger person, for your daughter. I have to do exchange drop offs at a location which is literally 2 mins from the home. The stbxw insisted that I be denied parenting time for some bogus reason with transportation. Don’t be like my stbxw. Be bigger than that.

Fun-Possible7676 · 2023-03-26T06:05:34+00:00

If your car broke down and you were trying to get a new one would you like it if your spouse withheld your child?

We must rise above women's pettyness.

FunkyTownMascot · 2023-03-25T22:41:52+00:00

Well, she's getting around somehow. Looks like she needs a friend to drive her to the exchange. Or, there's always Uber.

hsar15232 · 2023-03-26T04:43:37+00:00

u/cryptus-maximus

As mentioned by others, in the court you would look idiot, if you pursue emergency hearing.

IMPORTANT:

Do you have these exchanges in writing? Fro contract perspective, if you let some behavior go on, they may be considered part of contract. If it's just verbal, then she could come and say that you let this happen and now want to change it back. While looking ridiculous, that claim will have some legs. HAVE THIS IN WRITING.

After having that in writing, give her some benefits of doubt. And again, say so in writing. This may come handy in the future, if you need some accommodation. Or may not help at all, but it is good for your children. She might be worried about CS money. Without transportation, she may lose some time and may be required to give you more. She may be trying to avoid that, all the while spending for a new car. So be kind and gentle, but have all in writing.

TakeBackWhat · 2023-03-26T00:57:07+00:00

Don’t withhold. Assist fully if you can, cheerfully. Document it all, quietly.

The one-up you gain from this will trump the net cost/benefit of a court action.

Also, accept her total freedom to be non-disclosive as she chooses to be. I struggle with this myself.

You sound like a great dad.

rsmiley77 · 2023-03-26T13:57:06+00:00

To answer you question I don’t know when you can reasonably withhold your daughter… but I’m pretty sure it’s past the point that you will unnecessarily piss off the judge in the case and potentially your quality of life moving forward. I don’t think in any world the potential gains in refusing to drop off your kids at their mothers is going to be higher that what’s overall at stake. Document everything. I found the best time to use such evidence is if and when your stbx overreaches. But you do you.

likeamyspacename · 2023-03-27T00:11:09+00:00

Don't withhold. That's not within your rights. However, it could be seen as reasonable for you to provide all transportation but be compensated for costs.

Think about the person you are dealing with and the natural consequences. Would she do it for you? If you needed it, would you like it if she would?

Then act accordingly.

cryptus-maximus · 2023-03-27T01:06:27+00:00

I am not as petty as her, but she has been so terrible during this process that little things like this all look like opportunities to give her a taste of her own medicine. Thanks everyone for your feedback, looks like I'm on the right track and just need to continue accommodating a little more until this new car gets here. Big picture.

vector5633 · 2023-03-26T01:14:04+00:00

She's full of doggy shit!

Happy-N-Healthy777 · 2023-03-26T15:32:41+00:00

kids not going to school?

Why can’t you make exchanges at the school?

MedCityCPA · 2023-03-27T10:26:21+00:00

Is she going to work, get groceries, or socialize? How?

Be reasonable, give her a few weeks, communicate the clear line of accommodations, and then go back to a neutral exchange location.

If your ex requested an exchange location, then she could be trying to claim that she is afraid of you (a common tactic for full custody).

My ex tried the same thing. We have an exchange location because she kept claiming that I was intimidating her at the marital home by exchanging at our homes.

In the end she won full custody. If it happened to me, it could happen to you. Here is my story - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8h3TkQJ3nQ

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-03-27T12:00:54+00:00

> At what point can I reasonably withhold my daughter for my ex's lack of transportation?

Never. You only withhold parenting time if it is a matter of safety with your daughter. And there are very specific processes to follow.

Title	Ex's car broke down, can't make exchanges
Author	cryptus-maximus
Upvotes	12
Comments	15
Date	March 25, 2023 9:58 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1220oct/exs_car_broke_down_cant_make_exchanges/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/exs-car-broke-down-cant-make-exchanges.1187866 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187866

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