It's been nine months since the divorce. Everything triggers a feeling of failure. Big problems are huge. Small things weigh hard. And it's easy to give up on so many things. Everything gets me down.

I can't stand being alone. At all. I panic. I tried a lot of things. I jump on the exercise bike. Sort of works. Hit the gym. Newbie, bit discouraged at small/no gains but even more afraid to stop. Reddit.
Kind of works. Everything seems like it's going no where. I have just a few friends, mostly weekend stuff or lunch here and there, no confidants.

I shouldn't be doing online dating. But I'm like a moth drawn to a flame. It offsets that panic enough to draw me in. I'm doing ok attracting girls. But the dates go meh. The rejection sucks... although I throw a few fish back myself.

I lack confidence. I feel like I'm down in the dirt. I'm pretty sure that casts a shadow of doom on me - just can't help it. Also, while I'm not a financial wreck, I'm much worse off than the girls I'm dating. Most are millionaires - a status earned in the local housing boom. Only one has said anything. She was an /executive/ and /level 2 sommelier/ ... fancy.

I sold my house and missed out on a ton of opportunities, stuff like the boom and the low interest rates. I had an idiot of an ex who threatened a restraining order every time I said "the interest rates will never be like this again, we can both prosper if you'll respond to my offers". She sucks at cooperation. And she sucks at math. That's it tho. 8)

I don't think I'll be able to buy again. It freaks me out.

Advice needed. What has worked the best to tame your depression or freak out moments?

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