First missed birthday

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-09-29T07:59:09+00:00

Create your own rituals with your kids. Celebrate her birthday during your next parenting time. Kids celebrate their birthdays on different days all the time -- like pushing it to the weekend rather than the actual day.

pegleg_legal · 2021-09-29T09:01:42+00:00

These are the moments that sting.

SnooStories5744 · 2021-09-29T09:36:16+00:00

Just happened to me, instead I celebrated the birthday during my visitation. I keep telling myself it’s just another day and try to keep to my routine to get my mind off of it. It sucks, but try to keep it together when you speak to her and be happy for her.

bobbyb503 · 2021-09-29T13:39:02+00:00

The best way I’ve learned to survive is…. It isn’t about you. Hopefully your kid is having a great day/party. Don’t waste a precious moment of your time worrying about why me, why can’t i…. Maximize every second you do get with them. It hurts, it sucks; I’m 11 years. My kids are teens now. I have a great relationship with them, talk to them everyday. Hang in there, get out of your head. Exhausting physical exercise is a great release.

Mavik52 · 2021-09-29T15:11:45+00:00

This is one of the challenges of divorce. It's important now to let go of expectations in your life. No attachment to outcome. You will be able to celebrate on another day and it really doesn't change the significance or experience. This can and should be applied to all areas of your life. Much of the stress and anxiety people experience in life very often comes from an event happening and it not meeting their expectations. Start playing with the concept every day. The next time something happens that invokes a negative emotion, stop and see what your expectation was. Then remove it and ask yourself, without the expectation was it really that bad?

M3hdic_333 · 2021-09-29T18:45:40+00:00

Are you me?

This was my story, 3 years ago. Hang in there buddy. Be kind for yourself. I haven't seen my girls 4/8 when I left their mom. It was just about to be my oldest daughters birthday. She was turning 5 at the time. I missed 2 birthdays due to military training. But knowing that you were just around the corner and not haven the chance to be part of that tore me apart. So when I say I'm with you in spirit brother I am. I hope you have some custody unlike myself. Love you bro whoever you are.

Shitpostradamus · 2021-09-29T13:29:25+00:00

Wait what?! Why would the birthday be missed? You guys rotate birthdays?!

Calm_Tomato · 2021-09-29T17:22:19+00:00

The ex and I put in our agreement that we would alternate hosting duties for bdays and that we would each invite the other to the birthday event. Maybe you and your ex could do something like that. I’m not sure how well the two of you get along though.

jgoodstein · 2021-09-29T18:45:59+00:00

we allowed for a 2 hour window for the other parent on the birthday. it was annoying and as they got older we both didn't exercise that right. Just an idea.

I feel your pain.

treborcj · 2021-09-29T20:28:29+00:00

My lawyer thought of this, in my divorce decree whoever doesn't have the child on their birthday gets to have them for 2 hours that day.

huhbz · 2021-09-29T23:04:59+00:00

Love you brother.

cdjohnny · 2021-09-30T00:44:56+00:00

I've been divorced 13 years now and my youngest is now 18. It was hard and I feel for you! I will say that I focused a lot more when I was with my kids and had real quality time and I think that made a huge difference. There is no way getting around those birthdays/holidays, etc...but make the most of the other time and it will pay dividends. Good luck brother!

Title	First missed birthday
Author	dirtycochise
Upvotes	36
Comments	30
Date	September 29, 2021 7:51 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/pxqlt1/first_missed_birthday/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/first-missed-birthday.1073619 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073619

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