How do you??

rmorlock · 2019-11-19T17:45:14+00:00

You can file for contempt. I'm sure you have written documentation asking for her to stop this or to give you more notice.

Fin4llyBre4thing · 2019-11-19T17:49:36+00:00

Document what is going on, create a parenting plan to address these issues, and submit it to the court for approval.

dday_throwaway3 · 2019-11-19T18:12:35+00:00

You are under no obligation to take your children to extracurricular activities during your parenting time.

Let the reimbursements pile up. At some point, you'll be back in court and she'll have to contend with that on top of whatever you're there about. My ex didn't pay me a single reimbursement for 14 months, and even when she started paying, she hasn't resolved all transactions.

Kids need to see their doctor/dentist for routine checkups. If you can't take them when they're scheduled, then reschedule to a time when you can take them.

ciscokid12345 · 2019-11-19T20:33:06+00:00

Wow did we marry the same woman???

warrior_up · 2019-11-19T21:50:05+00:00

Best way to handle these people is just don’t play the game. She’s wanting to get a reaction out of you that will make you look bad, and /or make her feel as if she still has emotional control over you

Do your best to take the high road especially in front of the kids.

Careful with any all communications you send her, only respond with short one word answers as it pertains to the kids. Too late now but you could have negotiated one of the custody apps like “Our Family Wizard” in the agreement that would have been the only way for her to communicate with you, all communications visitation schedules and doctor visits, bills ets are all documented and tracked....as well as vulgar language etc

For now Research “the grey rock method” essentially its you being the most boring individual possible with her. Never giving any emotion good bad or ugly - only vanilla, sure, yes, no thank you, I’m doing fine etc without any detail. Eventually they get bored and move on to another person to emotionally terrorize

Don’t play the game the best you can

Spodee5 · 2019-11-19T18:58:49+00:00

Why are you paying 50k?

MNCPA · 2019-11-19T22:45:37+00:00

Hang in there!

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2019-11-20T04:37:21+00:00

Why on earth did you “fight” for joint/shared decision making w/ a person that cheated on you and argues with you?

My(48) Ex(52) is a bi-polar narcissist and extremely argumentative. I pushed for sole custody, 50/50 shared time, and (according to the judge) a clever and thoughtfully thorough Parenting Plan that would remove discussion, collaboration, or agreement unless mutually decides. Everything runs like a machine.

Edit: as a reminder, the way you talk makes me think that you are still learning how to have a backbone and set boundaries or drop co-dependent behaviors. To your question: “how do you end the never-ending conflict?” - you refuse to participate.

Appointments scheduled during your time? Cancel or reschedule.

Last minute reschedule of pickup or drop off? Decline and prioritize your plans.

Each time you must document the poor behavior in an email to her as if you know a judge will be reading it. Make sure it is succinct and relatively emotionless. And then don’t respond if she responds.

You MUST stand up on your own. No one is going to do this for you.

Spodee5 · 2019-11-20T14:32:29+00:00

You have to get ahead of her behavior . Call the school, get the name of photo company- order your own package. Explain to school- totally contentious divorce- have them send double paperwork and announcements to both homes. Also speak to teacher- same info. Anything sent home, send to you. Same at all doctors. They need to contact you immediately if anything if booked. The only way to get her to stop, is to make her useless. This is what we had to do. Once she figured out she wasn't pissing us off she stopped

cuckhunter69 · 2019-11-19T19:25:24+00:00

lesbians are fucking vile

Title	How do you??
Author	Spodee5
Upvotes	15
Comments	47
Date	November 19, 2019 5:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/dynr6y/how_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-you.1202631 https://theredarchive.com/post/1202631

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