My wife and I dated for 3 years before we got engaged. Engaged for one more year before getting married. The relationship was damn near perfect. Rarely fought, lived together in harmony, we raised a puppy together, we were best friends, no trust issues, lots of sex, what more could you ask for?

Well we got married, bought a house, and about a year later things started to change. She started to put on weight, she became very stubborn, she didn't want to have sex much and when she we did hardly seemed into it. I felt like for a while after I only saw her in sweatpants and a shirt. She hardly wanted to go out anymore it seemed. All she wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch TV. I felt like I had been tricked. This wasn't what I thought marriage would be like.

Well we decided to start a family. Naively I thought this would fix everything. Well she got pregnant, and she became really happy and just glowing. She became very sweet and thoughtful. I remember thinking I couldn't be anymore in love with her. Things felt like they were back on track. Oddly this was different than what they make pregnancy out to sound like on TV. Our child was born and things went downhill quick. I get it were both tired but when we had chances to be alone or go on dates, have sex, she didn't want to. There was always an excuse. And she didn't want to be away from our child for a date. I felt like she couldn't stand me. She was always so mean. I confronted her about how I felt and begged her to go to counseling. Reluctantly she went by the time our child was 8 months. She didn't want to participate, she thought it was stupid. Therapy was going no where. It was was waste of everyone's time. Just went back to being 2 roommates raising a baby. Just decided I would stick it out because we had a kid.

She stops pumping/producing milk because our child no longer needs it. Things get really good. We both want another kid. We have a conversation about it and she says she thinks the hormones ficked her up. I tell myself that the pregnancy will be good, then I might have to deal with a rough marriage while her hormones are fucked up, but just like before she'll stop producing milk and everything will go back to being good. This is exactly what happened with our second kid, only we didn't make it as far. During this time she even forgot our anniversary. Just as terrible as it was before. Like she didn't care.

Well I started a new job 2 years ago. Unfortunately I met someone there. This person made me feel great! She made me happy, she didn't tear me down, we had a lot in common, we laughed together, we got along so great and attraction was building. Well, caught up in a whirlwind of something new and exciting, it eventually got really inappropriate and we had sex. My wife found out and it destroyed her. For a year after we went to counseling which again was not easy. At home I was constantly harassed and reminded of what I did. I downloaded a tracking app and gave all my passwords for transparency but there was nothing I could do to stop the harassment. I tried to suck it up because of what I had done and power thru it for better days. I wanted to fix our marriage.

Well this girl was a coworker. And being miserable at home about 8 or 9 months after I began to talk to this girl again as friends. It was an on and off thing because I didn't want to get in too deep but I missed the comfort of her making me feel good at times. This time no sex. Just conversations here and there. My wife found out and asked for divorce. For weeks my wife had been telling me about how she had been reconnecting with a friend from college and she was staying up late after I went to sleep and going down stairs. Well I later find out she had been reconnecting with an ex boyfriend from college, and she had been talking to him for months. She was staying up talking to him once I had gone to sleep. I'm sure she justified it by what I had done. I'm pretty sure this played a vital role in her going thru my phone the night she found out I was still talking to her and asked for divorce. I think she was looking for a reason to leave and I have her one.

The very next day leaves me at the house with the kids and goes on a date with this guy. She's out til 3am. She's open about it to me to hurt me. I look back and see some warning signs but I trusted her and never thought anything of it. She didn't know that just telling someone you want a divorce wasn't enough to protect you from sleeping with someone. She moved out a month later and bought a house over the summer. Long story short I had a lot of evidence on her for adultery and abandonment and she had no proof of me. Well we settled on a legal separation agreement and I have joint legal custody and she's not getting any money from me.

I have always had a great relationship with my kids and I still do. I have my kids 50% of the time and when I have them they are my main focus. I just make sure we spend quality time. And I want to add she's always been a fantastic mother to them.

Over the course of our 6 months of separation she has been awful to deal with. Very open about her new relationship to hurt me. She films me everytime we exchange kids. She's awful with communication. She's very mean. And you know what. Call me crazy but I want her to come home and fix this with me. I want to be a family. I want her back. I just want to put this all behind us and work thru it. I want the family back together. I'm owning what I did. I just want her to stop and come home. I've tried numerous times to tell her this over the past 6 months and she either doesn't respond or she leaves. I've kinda accepted this is over, but I don't want to move on. I want my wife back.

For reference from start to finish is 11 years. Sorry but typing this was helpful. I'm kinda lost right now.