Just need to talk

Gkuse · 2023-11-24T13:54:49+00:00

Go ahead and vent dude, there are a lot of good guys in this sub that pretty good advice…let it flow

krazykanuck · 2023-11-24T14:46:37+00:00

I cannot recommend therapy enough. Just judging by the "sad sack" responses (we've all been there), you are fully in hate yourself mode. While it's extremely important understand ones own shortcomings, it's also SUPER important to not beat yourself up for them.

Do this experiment: picture someone you really care about that isn't you. Imagine that person made the mistakes you did, and they are really hurting and beating them self up. See them there, sitting in front of you, devastated. What would you say to them? What would you do for them?

Now why wouldn't you do that for yourself?

Neither_Science_6041 · 2023-11-24T13:59:41+00:00

We both cheated we both made mistakes but I feel like I should be alone forever. I constantly hurt people but give an outward appearance of success. I just want to know why I’m so broken.

lifeisallihave · 2023-11-24T14:26:47+00:00

There are two people in a relationship, it's not your fault alone. Take time to take care of yourself, rediscover you.

OkQuail6263 · 2023-11-24T15:19:10+00:00

It's a hard road man. It's the toughest thing I have ever been through and I am sure majority of everyone here will say the same. It fucking sucks. The first few months especially, your soul just gets dragged over the coals over and over. I cried every day sometimes multiple times. I still cry here and there. It's important to let all of that out and feel those emotions.

Then one day, for me it was at 3 or so months into it, I feel like I turned a page. I stopped trying to make sense of everything and beating myself up. I began to accept it for what it was or whatever reason I thought. Things are better, I am not as sad as I was. There's still lonely and hard times but they aren't as often or severe.

Life is just hard and strange. I never thought I would be in this position.

Acceptable_Meat3824 · 2023-11-24T15:24:45+00:00

I get you my man, I’m just starting to go through this, the part about loosing your best friend is the worst for me, but it’s time to self improve, make ourselves stronger mentally and s physically and get ready to conquer the world. Keep your head up high and remember we are men, we have made the world work and made it better for thousands of years. Cheats for a better tomorrow 🥃

vstarfan · 2023-11-24T15:25:02+00:00

3 months into divorce and I don’t want a therapist.I know about the past and I see my mistakes.I would not change anything if I could.I am looking for a good life coach to move forward not dwelling on the past.I can’t change it.

Neither_Science_6041 · 2023-11-24T15:54:25+00:00

I’ll look into that, I know I can’t change the past but I want to understand why things happened.

imadestarwars · 2023-11-24T17:24:18+00:00

My friend. Two weeks ago I found out my wife was cheating on me with a married man. One of the most devastating revelations of my adult life.

The best place for you to be at the moment is here with other likeminded fellas.

In those two weeks I’ve rededicated my life to myself. I’m 38, and in less than two years I’ll be 40. The realization that this ride is halfway over, and I get the chance to start a new chapter, has lifted my ass up more than anything.

Take the pain and turn it into fuel. At this point, there’s nothing stopping you from continuing those plans, or making totally different ones.

You are in full control now. Don’t let this end not be a new beginning.

Things aren’t falling apart. They’re falling into place.

Title	Just need to talk
Author	Neither_Science_6041
Upvotes	10
Comments	30
Date	November 24, 2023 1:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/182s21p/just_need_to_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/just-need-to-talk.1239222 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239222

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