Life isn't the same

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-03-25T17:30:56+00:00

Don't try to date. Work on yourself right now.

RockandRollGuitars · 2023-03-25T13:47:26+00:00

Get comfortable with yourself and time by yourself while you grieve. Do not expect other people to solve how you’re feeling, they’ll be support and temporary escape at best, and if they’re not close friends they’ll likely become energy vampires that prolong your grieving process.

Writing random shit about my anger and despair in journal has helped me through the lonely times and helped me get to know myself a little better. If you’ve never journaled before, try object writing as a way to get started -> https://objectwriting.com

Start doing the things you liked to do before you met and see if those still make you feel good. I’ve played the shit out of my guitars and have picked up drums which has been a great way to physically get the anger out.

You get a second chance at free manhood with all the experience of what a shit relationship looks like. Now you can craft the life you always deserved and the you’ll find you attract the people you always deserved into your life along the way.

Take your power back and invest it in yourself and your kids (if you’ve got ‘em). Stay stoic and disinterested in any non necessary dialogue and be okay with treating someone you loved and lived for like a stranger on the subway. Stop giving her any of you beyond what’s necessary to get to the end of divorce as quickly as possible.

I’m still in it, a year co-habitating through separation negotiating the divorce. Don’t be like me, get through as fast as you can and chase the life after divorce as fast as you can. As I’ve read countless times in this forum, it’s glorious and worth every penny.

Jbr74 · 2023-03-26T01:37:47+00:00

It takes time, a month in I was a train wreck. After 6 months I was much better. After a year I was thankful that bitch was gone.

You will say "life isn’t the same" a year from now, and it will have a different meaning. (It will be different because it will be better).

I know you don’t, can’t, believe that now, it’s too new it’s too fresh. But it’s true.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-03-25T14:56:31+00:00

> where do I go where do I start

Get hobby, or three. Great way to meet new people. Do all the things you've been wanting to do for years, but your wife gave you shit about doing because it didn't include her.

DocHolliday80 · 2023-03-25T17:56:09+00:00

Forget about women, focus on yourself. Specially, forget about her. No contact if possible.

Work out hard, eat healthy, get in shape.

Spend time on your hobbies.

Write a diary to vent the shit your mind will produce.

Buy yourself some presents (new clothes, car, motorbike, tech, guns…)

Work hard and make money to spend on yourself. If you are married, get a lawyer asap.

And, probably, she had her new boyfriend before dumping you.

hidyhowareya · 2023-03-25T21:02:18+00:00

I’m divorced as of 12/13/22, separated for over a year and still don’t know what to do. It takes time is what I’m told and that it’s all in Gods plan. What a wild and weird plan that it, but it is what it is by the way, my ex already has a guy sleeping at her place while my daughter is there and all she thought about seeing was the guys bank account statement and credit report instead of an actual check to see if the son of a bitch was a sex predator or whatever else.

Vegetable_Tourist829 · 2023-03-26T07:53:00+00:00

Go slow, and get support- you may need some short term sleep and mental health meds. No shame in that.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2023-03-26T12:33:00+00:00

Get cozy with your solitude, because the only one who is going to be there every morning is you.

It’s a long road though.

You can’t let her live rent-free in your head, but that takes a lot of time to die down. Eventually, it does and it won’t bother you any more.

When you get to that place, you’ll find your tolerance for BS goes way down.

HODLMEPLS · 2023-03-25T15:15:05+00:00

Yup. And guess what you may meet women there who enjoy the same things.

vector5633 · 2023-03-25T17:56:13+00:00

Forget about women right now. Worry about yourself. It's time to upgrade yourself. Your best days are ahead. Just be patient and don't worry about your X. You're better than her!

No_Key_6276 · 2023-03-25T19:23:32+00:00

The last thing you need to do is compare your healing to anyone else, especially her’s

sparky1976 · 2023-03-25T20:36:37+00:00

Get an electric long board. Meepo hurricane !!!! Fun

FindingMyPrivates · 2023-03-26T08:41:28+00:00

More than likely homeboy is temporary. Besides the point you shouldn’t even care. Like all other say focus on you. Don’t try and date. For me I am working out more, picked up reading, and I got a new puppy. Pain the ass but that lil guy makes my life much better. I can honestly say it’s filling the void of companionship. This lil fucker loves me and I do too.

polarshred · 2023-03-27T05:32:50+00:00

6 weeks is no time. I didn't start to feel even remotely better until about 11 weeks. Now after 5 months I'm still reminding myself that this journey is gonna be a long one. You gotta be patient. Forget meeting other people. Take care of yourself brother.

Gym No alcohol Hobbies Read books Connect with old friends Go for walks Cold showers No porn

Take in your pain now. Process it now. You'll bounce back quicker than if you numb the pain with alcohol, porn, drugs, or even other women.

Title	Life isn't the same
Author	Important-Section382
Upvotes	10
Comments	35
Date	March 25, 2023 1:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/121ld0t/life_isnt_the_same/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/life-isnt-the-same.1187936 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187936

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