Money worth fighting over?

SeaweedWeird7705 · 2026-06-04T18:54:20+00:00

If you’re talking about around $2000 total, that she has squirreled away from her checks, I think it’s not worth it.

I would use it as a negotiating tactic. “Hey, I know you’ve squirreled away an extra $2000, so in trade I would like _____”.

EmbarrassedAge7612 · 2026-06-04T18:43:56+00:00

I negotiated half her 401k in return for not paying her support and her acknowledging some of her personal debts as not being my responsibility.

probebeta · 2026-06-04T18:36:53+00:00

I don't know how law works in your state but there is a document I had to fill in where you have to disclose all your assets, and if you're doing shady stuff then you're basically lying on paper. Then there is a clause a lawyer can draft saying that if assets are discovered then you are entitled to some of it.

She'll probably try to hide stuff anyway, but hopefully not by much if there are clauses like this on the agreement. We did exchange bank statements and details like this as per request by lawyers so if you see money moving around you should be able to ask questions.

My experience is that yes shell try to get back as much as possible, and yes you have to fight over it, but at some point you both want to move on probably so after a couple rounds of tough negotiating just rip the bandaid and move on 😅. You will make it back.

Relative-Cicada1553 · 2026-06-04T17:52:56+00:00

I gave up on a lot of stuff. Litigation became more expensive than the disputed dollar amount. So I just ate anything less than 5k.

Keep a record of it all. If she ever decides to bring you to court for something petty, bring all the paperwork.

EmbarrassedAge7612 · 2026-06-04T17:51:06+00:00

Depending on your state, you are entitled to half of her 401k. I used that as a negotiating position in my divorce.

One-Specialist-4983 · 2026-06-04T17:34:05+00:00

Adjust your tax withholding to higher to catch up for the rest of the year. Since you are not technically divorced I’m assuming you guys are going to married filling separate… or just put it into writing that this year taxes are still filling married and you guys split 50/50 any taxes owed or returned.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-06-04T17:32:03+00:00

If she's doing shady money stuff you need to record it and use it as evidence. Those are marital funds, assuming you're not legally separated.

If you have an attorney I highly recommend you consult and then present the information to her attorney. Hopefully you can figure it out without having to get it in front of a judge.

Now is it worth it? Really depends on your situation which we don't know anything about.

In my case, I took a financial hit in the short term to get her out of the house and get my divorce decree as fast as possible.

I paid for all the kids stuff while she got railed in her apartment by who knows how many dudes.

I did this because in my situation it was important to me to keep my kids in my house and get her crazy ass away from us.

HotCut100 · 2026-06-04T17:30:22+00:00

Fight for what is yours, but remember that divorce is expensive and the best investment you will make. If your finances are joint then it might be useful to bring up as a negotiating point but it sounds like the numbers are small enough that it may just equal out in the equity payment that can be adjusted up in your favor.

Title	Money worth fighting over?
Author	BloodstainedBearRug
Upvotes	8
Comments	15
Date	June 4, 2026 5:23 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1twuarj/money_worth_fighting_over/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/money-worth-fighting-over.1582068 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582068

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