My Schedule vs Her Schedule

Eve-3 · 2022-06-16T18:36:39+00:00

My thoughts are that I have no idea where these children are on Wednesday. To be honest I can't understand any of it, but I have my moments of stupidity so I'm sure others can understand the rest.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-06-16T19:05:27+00:00

The only way you get that fucked up schedule is if you mutually agree to it. A judge is going to order a standard 2/2/3, 2/2/5/5 or 7/7 schedule. Overnights, not hours, is how the court measures parenting time.

You need to structure your life so that you can parent your children 100% of the time, if it comes to that. Imagine that aliens visit and beam your STBX up as a prime example of a female. You never hear from her again, and the kids are counting on you to be there. Of course that scenario is outlandish, but the outcome is not. Women do ghost their kids, become incarcerated or hospitalized, or die. Come up with your "alien abduction plan" and you'll find it easy to parent your kids 50% of the time.

You need to think long term here. Your job isn't always going to be those days/hours. Neither is hers. You do not want to be going back to court every time one of you changes jobs. That's stupidly expensive. So you need to come up with a durable parenting plan. And one that doesn't have a bajillion transitions each week. Your kids may not complain about that now, but they sure will in a few years going to the other household every other day.

PinkFlamingo634 · 2022-06-16T18:52:36+00:00

Would need to see this in a visual to understand, however one important note is that in many cases child support is calculated by number of overnights. So even if you end up with the kids more during waking hours, but she gets the overnights, you could end up paying more in support. Just something to keep in mind while determining your schedule.

WartimeDad · 2022-06-16T18:46:22+00:00

Why do you say husband/ wife? That’s dead lol. Call it Dad/Mom.

In your schedule nobody seems to have the kids after Tuesday. At any rate the way you’ve written it is very confusing. These things are already super confusing so don’t feel bad. I see she is calling it a “visitation.” That’s bull shit. Pick how many days you want and then make it simple.

here is what I suggest for a 50/50:

Dad: every other weekend (starting Friday evening) and always has Monday and Tuesday (exchange Wednesday morning)

Mom: every other weekend (starting Friday evening) and always has Wednesday and Thursday.

Or something like this.

TheRealDrWan · 2022-06-16T19:36:10+00:00

The way you’ve presented it is too confusing. No one can understand it.

Also, stop referring to each other as husband and wife. Those terms are no longer appropriate. Mom and Dad, she and I.

You are no longer married, she is not your wife and you are not her husband. Your only mutual responsibility is to your children, as parents not spouses.

James1933-75 · 2022-06-16T18:59:49+00:00

So what is the assumption here? Are you inferring she is trying to make you take them every weekend so she can go out and party, or legit she is working?

What is her field of work?

EngineerParentGuy · 2022-06-16T19:01:36+00:00

She feelers better for the kids not to have them go back and forth as much as my schedule

But that’s at my expense both from a time with kids and from a weekend night to myself perspective

Dull_Description_710 · 2022-06-16T19:22:58+00:00

I don't understand this at all

EngineerParentGuy · 2022-06-16T18:35:52+00:00

So under her schedule I get no weekend nights to myself and also lose my Tuesday mornings and 1 Sunday night with the kids

EngineerParentGuy · 2022-06-16T18:48:47+00:00

My kids are 2.5 and 6.5 which makes it difficult to have days that I work or for her to have days that she works

EngineerParentGuy · 2022-06-16T18:54:06+00:00

I don’t care about child support I want to see the kids as much as possible I am paying a real lot of money on support

Spodee5 · 2022-06-16T21:24:51+00:00

Your wording “Her schedule husband weekend”. What does that mean? Is that your ex’s parenting time or yours? Be clear, keep it simple.

Like I have every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and every other Sunday. See how clear and how much more is communicated in a single sentence.

I can’t understand what your question is the way everything is worded but let me share a little wisdom. Child support is based on overnights not days or hours. The more overnights she has the more child support the state calculator will give her further the more she has the more likely it is that a judge will award beyond the minimum.

You want a relationship with your children for obvious reasons. But maintaining that relationship will save you tons of money if you calculate it out over many years.

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-17T00:27:44+00:00

Until all issues are agreed, no issues are agreed. If you contain the fight to the scheduling, you'll lose. Make her put some skin in the game.

eyesayhello · 2022-06-17T01:45:26+00:00

So, essentially you get no weekends to yourself? I don't like it.

Title	My Schedule vs Her Schedule
Author	EngineerParentGuy
Upvotes	5
Comments	28
Date	June 16, 2022 6:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vdsmou/my_schedule_vs_her_schedule/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-schedule-vs-her-schedule.1119740 https://theredarchive.com/post/1119740

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