Fun Weekend Contest for Divorced Men

SnooDucks2052 · 2022-07-23T12:57:02+00:00

Damm. Who is you Elon Musk or something??

GrayCalf · 2022-07-23T13:14:56+00:00

Is this like golf where the lowest score wins?

$361 for her van. Just a few months to go.

BlackFire68 · 2022-07-23T12:41:33+00:00

I only paid 3,500 a month …after a cash settlement of 100k and 80% of what was in the house. 21 years, three grown kids, WI. At that time I made 185k, she was a stay at home mom.

My current attorney (business, not divorce) pays 6k a month, but he purposefully offered higher payments for a shorter duration.

IAmOculusRift · 2022-07-23T12:35:02+00:00

Well that sucks. You win.

internetTroll151 · 2022-07-23T14:07:56+00:00

6,000.

Protomize · 2022-07-23T16:08:55+00:00

$392 a month while making six figures because I got her income imputed because she tried to take on a job not in her field that pays way less on purpose.

Snowbirdy · 2022-07-23T12:52:20+00:00

I just spent $40,000 this month on international travel for kids and summer camp?

Lol moment: my oldest wasn’t sure about ordering the €40 shrimp on the menu.

GoldPotential6298 · 2022-07-23T13:06:37+00:00

Far more than I’d care to admit.

mauimikes · 2022-07-23T12:40:21+00:00

Tough to beat that, how many kids and how long was marriage?

MillenialShift · 2022-07-23T13:56:42+00:00

3100

Basic_Advance7627 · 2022-07-23T14:15:33+00:00

Gave mine the house and everything I owned and built over the last 30 years just to retain my pension. Still pay 800 a month in CS. Not a lot, but I only got my clothes and a lawn mower. And she’s the one who cheated!!??!?

EngineerParentGuy · 2022-07-23T12:57:38+00:00

Same, I choose to mediate and get legal advice from my lawyer instead of going to court because I didn’t want to pay 35k to lawyers which instead over time will go to my kids My lawyer said based on my salary I couldn’t been paying up to 6600$

SpacemanLost · 2022-07-23T15:18:47+00:00

I'm done now.. but it was $5K in 2009. So Inflation adjusted...

That said, a friend of mine ended a 25+ year marriage in WA state 3.5 years ago. $7000 / mo Alimony (no CS, Kids over 18) for 7 years or $588K total. I think he just beat the deadline for tax deductability of alimony.

pre-postpandemic · 2022-07-23T16:04:35+00:00

I have an appointment with a lawyer on Monday to ask what sort of alimony I'd be looking at and you guys are not making me feel very optimistic. After some raises I now make $190k a year, but I've been supporting the entire family by myself for four years now since my wife has been unemployed (mostly by choice) with the kids in school/day care. I was hoping she'd get motivated to get a job so that we might actually be able to afford to separate (we're in an expensive location, though to be fair housing is expensive almost everywhere now) but it seems pretty clear that's not going to happen.

giraffe-zackeffron · 2022-07-23T16:35:53+00:00

Jesus Christ…reading through this is so depressing. When I went through divorce court, I was lucky in that my wife and I earned about the same salary so I didn’t have to pay her any alimony. Also no kids so that was awesome. The judge did however, give her almost everything that we owned. For some reason, I was given all of the debt (cc mostly.) I struggled financially for about a year or so but then moved to a new state to start over and got a much better job. Lived on rice and beans for about a year and threw as much money at the debt as I could. Worked through that and was good to go. I’ll be going through it again pretty soon and am worried this time because I make more than double what my wife makes.

I have a good friend who really got sodomized. He and his wife split. She got the house and full custody of the kid. He had to pay alimony and cs as the kid was only like 4-5 at the time. He got a second full time job to make up for what he was having to pay his ex. He worked for over a year at the second job (two full time jobs) before his ex discovered his additional income. She took him back to court on the basis of he makes more money now, so he should be paying more. The judge agreed. I don’t know how much he had to pay each month but I know that he had to give up his apartment because he didn’t get to keep enough of his money to afford rent. He literally had to live in his car. He lived in his car for a long time; like a year or so. Eventually he found a couch to sleep on at a friends place. You would think after all that he would have learned but a few years later, his dumbass got married again. Then he had two more kids. Divorced again, more alimony and cs. Now he’s on marriage number three. I think he’s done having kids.

SpiritualEnema · 2022-07-23T16:50:36+00:00

$3213.80

13 year marriage, I make $160K and she makes $70K. I’ll be paying spousal for about 6 years. In WA state I will be paying post secondary (college) support for an additional 4 years as well

Not that I’m counting or bitter 😂

jnkboy64 · 2022-07-23T17:56:28+00:00

Ouch. I was paying $500 in child support, 1300 in alimony but when the court gave me full custody due to her drug use and dui's I'm getting $30 a month. Get this, because they can't award 0$ in child support. So I get 30$ each month venmoed to me, while I get to raise our boy and get the gift of still paying 1300$ in alimony.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-07-23T14:15:14+00:00

Well, if you make $15k/month but paying $5300 you're still winning. You should mention % of income.

I'm paying 50% of my net income in child support alone!

Gattsama · 2022-07-23T15:25:57+00:00

In the middle of the divorce, so only have court order for temporary support. No kids. Currently my monthly payment is $14,692.80. I hope the final settlement amount will be less... Also to be fair, as others have posted I earn a lot more than most. So even though I'm paying through the nose I am actually do so much better than many men on here. I actually have more discretionary income then when we were living together. Less chores, less stress, and since no kids once this BS is over hope to just pay her off with a lump sum and no long term spousal support.

jlmsquared · 2022-07-23T20:24:18+00:00

$3,750 a month for 5 years. 46 months to go. But I now have both kids and she pays me $600 a month in child support back for 2 more years. But she gets none of my stock, bonuses, pay raises or anything else.

She also took everything in the house, 65% of the funds from the house sale and a 70% or my 401k. But in 46 more months I will be able to rebuild and recover from it. I already bought a new home, and have a ton of equity. I just took the stance that it was better to just settle and be done than to fight over something that I can build back.

And she was a SAHM for the last 17 of 18 years of marriage.

waltrautfishing · 2022-07-23T19:06:07+00:00

I’m a woman, but can I play?! I pay 4K for the mortgage in the house he refuses to leave and $2200 a month. He refused to work for 10 years and stupid me thought the right thing to do was to let him “find himself.”

He found himself more than $50k tax free.

whatskeeping · 2022-07-23T12:36:30+00:00

Whew you win.

Robosnails · 2022-07-23T17:47:33+00:00

CS $1748, Daycare $2800, total $4548 a month. Married 10 years, two young children 4 and 2. Currently unemployed, previous income was 100k. We split all assets 50/50 but she continues take over 62% of my income even when im unemployed with 0 income at the moment.

Also the rules of this game should be "winner" is the loser paying the most based on percent of thier income.

San_Ra · 2022-07-23T18:28:06+00:00

Private agreement At the moment 25% of my take home. ($1000) Slowly going broke. Job interview monday that is a 40k pay rise if i get it. Would roughly make it 1/5 of my take home. Bout to have the conversation about selling the house

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2022-07-23T19:14:50+00:00

Shit … glad I’m posting rookie numbers at around 1300/mi. My youngest just turned 10, so I’ve got about 8 years to go.

dadafoot · 2022-07-23T20:13:40+00:00

Don’t give up. Esp if you have kids, keep taking things one day at a time. I have to believe that karma in one form or another exists.

I have a similar timeframe - 13 years. When I’m having a bad day, I daydream about 13 years from now - I’ll be broke and probably living in a shack, but I’ll have my integrity and hopefully my kids will see the truth when they are adults. And I will be free from the chains that keep me tied to my STBX.

dadafoot · 2022-07-23T15:17:31+00:00

I pay $6k/month right now. Not divorced yet. Trial in September. Vocational Rehab expert has been hired so that an appropriate income amount can be imputed to ex.

edylear3d · 2022-07-23T15:51:31+00:00

Only 1450 here, but I'm in a no alimony state. Its pure child support.

omg_vegan_n_texas · 2022-07-23T18:16:17+00:00

Man that’s crazy amount of money for what y’all pay. I’m paying 1,200 a month and can’t believe I pay that. She has a ft job and has it better than I did. I wish the system went with 50/50 custody first. Unless, one parent was unfit or unable to do that then go based off of a schedule that works for both and a smaller %.

JohnnyMnemo · 2022-07-23T20:57:54+00:00

Mine is $6030. I'm pretty sure I'll win this thread beofre even reading the rest of the comments.

She fucked herself though, by going to the state to garnish my wages. Apparently due to state law, she can't take more than 50% of my net, which is about $1500 less than that award. It'll accumulate in an arrears balance, but that's a fight for another day.

Tyler-87 · 2022-07-23T22:56:12+00:00

$4100 here, luckily that’ll cut in half in 2years

northdakotact · 2022-07-23T15:53:34+00:00

1250 a month for child support for 2. The punchline, it's NJ, so Child support ends at 23 if they are a full time student. Figure $8000 a year for my half of college.

If we had lived in texas I would had to have paid 3 months of child support for the oldest kid, instead of 5 years.

McWhiffersonMcgee · 2022-07-23T16:34:53+00:00

Should be percentage based lol

samk002001 · 2022-07-23T17:10:58+00:00

A little below $500! 2 more years to go! I wanna know how much you make?!

syro23 · 2022-07-23T19:02:30+00:00

I got you all beat in the opposite direction I pay a negative $1500.

CRobinsFly · 2022-07-23T20:51:40+00:00

Private agreement for 1k/mo for our 1yo daughter and I have no custody at the moment. I make 200k, she makes 100k.

In a year I plan to obtain 50% custody (and a paycut) and then will pay nothing.

Spodee5 · 2022-07-24T10:50:04+00:00

Ex makes about 2-2.3x’s what I do. We were married 14.5 years. Have our 8 & 11 year old sons 50% of the time. The judge ordered she pay $0/mo child support despite the state calculation saying she should pay about $1100/mo. They ordered proportional share for expenses copays sports etc and she never pays. I have an itemized ledger in Our Family Wizard with all the receipts. She refuses to pay.

She didn’t get my pension or 403b either.

Worst part is she got the judge to force the sale of the house and name where I can live to maintain my parenting time. She’s priced me out of ever owning a home again.

dranic · 2022-07-24T14:43:57+00:00

If low scores win, I have 50/50 and I pay 87 dollars a month in child support. Luckily, she played the long game and let me support her while she got her PhD, then threw in the towel as soon as she got a job that had commensurate pay to mine. Took 2 years, and around 80k in attorney fees, but I can't complain.

jalopkoala · 2022-07-23T16:04:00+00:00

The dollar amount is meaningless. It is the %.

My gross is $150k/year and I pay $10,200. 6.8%.

To paraphrase Chris Rock: If you make $20M and you have to pay her half, you’re doing alright. If you make $30k and she wants 15, you may have to kill her.

https://youtu.be/XAmeW8bq08k

Unless your royally screwed up, if your child support is $5k a month, at the end of the day you have a lot more money to take care of yourself and your kids than a lot of men on here.

trashy615 · 2022-07-23T14:39:35+00:00

Nothing.

No children. No alimony. What do I win?

Knave7575 · 2022-07-23T13:17:30+00:00

Paying that much just means that you are wealthier than most people. It does not make you a greater victim.

In fact, it means that you are probably suffering less than many other fathers, since if you are paying that much than you almost certainly have a lot left over.

Somebody paying $300 a month while making $30k a year is suffering much more than somebody paying $5k a month and making $150k

sr20rocket · 2022-07-23T17:44:27+00:00

Not sure how best to answer this one....

50/50 custody of my 2 children. 19yr marriage.

No alimony.

She's supposed to be paying me $600/mo. But since she's not I have to cover the deficit.

So am I paying or is she?

stent00 · 2022-07-23T18:15:23+00:00

Who wins all the cash and prizes...

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-07-23T21:32:38+00:00

jesus christ. thats more than what i will earn in one month

AStirlingMacDonald · 2022-07-23T22:19:57+00:00

Mine is only $675/month… but she kept the house outright and took the value of my half out of my CS payments.

Deezcleannutz · 2022-07-23T22:54:21+00:00

Uh, is that a lot? I’m paying more now but that’s what I hope to settle for. (Right now it’s closer to 9k because right now we have no agreement).

randystevens · 2022-07-24T02:25:37+00:00

$1300/month in Kansas 2 kids, 14 and 11

pegleg_legal · 2022-07-24T02:39:39+00:00

With the strong dollar, I'm under 5K now. Woot.

BettyBeltway · 2022-07-25T00:21:39+00:00

Good lord. I’m an ex wife that didn’t go for alimony or child support, just want to split expenses with 50/50 custody. This seems excessive and cruel. I’m sorry.

Trick_Tomatillo8855 · 2022-07-25T04:07:19+00:00

Do you give extra points if someone still has to pay spousal support even though the ex is remarried?

MrMoogie · 2022-07-30T22:49:40+00:00

I'm not actually married but I have two young kids (4 and 6) and splitting up. We've been together for 10 years and we make roughly the same money - her 260k me 200k but we also make about 60k in dividends together plus I have a side biz that makes another $100k, roughly. I'm thinking we can split the assets, I'll let her have the house (which has about $600k equity) in the hope she's not going to try and screw me. Does anyone know if I'm facing alimony payments or if the court can award her my share of assets or am I just facing CS payments at this point?

Title	Fun Weekend Contest for Divorced Men
Author	EngineerParentGuy
Upvotes	29
Comments	136
Date	July 23, 2022 12:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/w62xdj/fun_weekend_contest_for_divorced_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/fun-weekend-contest-for-divorced-men.1125149 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125149

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