Married for 17 yrs here. I don't remember my wife ever hugging me or kissing me herself. It always has been me who initiates. She says she dislikes physical contact. 95% of the time, she will push me away. If we are in bed, she'll react by swinging out her elbows, with no ragard where it'll strike me. The other 3-4% she'll give me a look that makes me feel really weird. I've seen that kind of look a woman gives a stranger on accidental or unwanted contact. She recently came out and told me she hates the idea of sex and feels it's filthy. She hates touching or being touched intimately. She has rejected counseling. Says, that's how she is and that I should not try to change her. I have 2 kids and I'd hate to hurt them if I take drastic action of a separation or divorce. Anyone faced anything similar? What did you do? I've not cheated... Pretty sure she's not either.

Edit: thank you everyone for the responses. I really appreciate you took the time to read this. I've never talked to anyone about this before. Some notes from me No, she's not cheating. I'm absolutely sure. She could be asexual, which I can understand, but it does not help me because I didn't sign up for this. And she refuses to talk about this, which frustrates me. She could be no longer in love with me, but just likes the current arrangement. Btw we both work and she pulls in about half as I do. So, it's not about the money.

I think I'll look to find a therapist I can talk to.