needing advice

upvotersfortruth · 2023-04-07T08:21:03+00:00

Do I pretend like it didn't happen and make a plan to leave while I pretend nothing happened?

Yes. 100% this. Nothing good can come of a confrontation.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2023-04-07T13:12:17+00:00

DO not waste time/money on marriage counselling. Desire cannot be negotiated.
Your marriage is over given your wife cheated. If you forgive her, she will lose even MORE respect for you and end up leaving you eventually.
Smarten up, grow some balls, and prepare for divorce. Sooner you end it the better off you will be.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-04-07T13:48:58+00:00

> I have tried to get her in to marriage counseling

That's a WOMBAT: waste of money brains and time. You can't negotiate genuine desire.

> Do I pretend like it didn't happen

No. But you also don't tell her what you plan to do. Maintain radio silence.

> Do I call her out and see what happens?

This will accomplish nothing. In her mind, she did nothing wrong. You will not obtain the emotional justice you seek.

ragingredditir · 2023-04-07T12:59:13+00:00

Def do not confront. You have all of the leverage.

Think of this is a war and you have the element of surprise. If you handle this right you can move in, win swiftly, with minimal casualties.

truebloodyvalentine · 2023-04-07T14:28:28+00:00

It sucks to be given advice that sounds like, 'it's over man, move on." but just like most of us here, some of our biggest regret was dragging the inevitable when we could have just used that time to re-build ourselves and heal.

Zealousideal-Bear-37 · 2023-04-07T12:22:16+00:00

Oh man . I’m so sorry but I’ve gotta give it to ya straight , man to man . The bitch is cheating . Grab your balls and contact an attorney. Tell her you know of her infidelity and are filing for divorce. A cheater has no respect for the man you are .

ranger69danger · 2023-04-07T14:07:10+00:00

Hey brother, consider getting STD tested.

Keep it low profile but you need to find and retain an attorney IMO.

2023-04-07T14:28:55+00:00

Sad to hear about your wife committing adultery. The marriage counselling didn’t work out because your wife has ‘checked out’ of relationship or has a different agenda altogether. In my opinion, you should confront her one last time with the physical proof. If she doesn’t mend her ways, hire a decent attorney and file for divorce.

Accomplished-Toe5220 · 2023-04-07T16:16:03+00:00

Begin hiding as many assets as you possibly can. Leave.

derelictherds · 2023-04-07T16:19:36+00:00

Do I pretend like it didn't happen and make a plan to leave while I pretend nothing happened?

Yes, business as usual at least until she has been served.

pk2at · 2023-04-07T20:50:20+00:00

Don't take any action now, just plan plan and prepare. 6 kids life on line, so you should do everything you can to get custody

joemoorcarz · 2023-04-08T14:34:13+00:00

Plan your exit!! She's already gaslighting you so confrontation is useless. Set a date to leave and serve her the paperwork. Quietly hide any belongings that are important to you and enough funds to take care of yourself.

Title	needing advice
Author	Mother-League-1952
Upvotes	6
Comments	18
Date	April 7, 2023 7:13 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/12eczb9/needing_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/needing-advice.1218335 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218335

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