I’m curious to hear from those further down the road than me IRT the dating scene. I’ve been separated for 2 years and divorced for 10 months now. A lot of positive things have happened since then and I’m finally out of that dark tunnel that’s named divorce with kids. Anyways, I have my apartment and my 50% custody with my kids and a great schedule with a low end child support payment (only because she made 6 figures 🙄). I’ve been lucky overall.

My last hurdle is how to move on romantically. I’m not still hung up on my ex at all but I have found that I have major abandonment issues now (ex left me out of nowhere for her boss who was 20 years older and looked like a rat). It has manifested in that I’m truly expecting that every woman is just one shift of the wind away from leaving. It is just inevitable that whoever I would be will eventually leave so what’s the point? That manifestation keeps any woman a heisman distance away so I can’t get hurt. This has turned into me basically just hooking up and leaving out after a few dates. So I wouldn’t say I’ve dated anyone. Just several dates and hook ups before I start wanting to pull away. I find that I pick apart everything about the girl and find reasons why to stop seeing her. That’s the first major issue that I’ll be speaking with my therapist about haha.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve been fortunate enough to date some beautiful women lately what’s a thought I’m meeting someone who would rise to the level of ever getting married again seems in comprehensible at this point. Maybe I’m wrong but my experience and from what I’ve seen since being single makes me think twice about ever doing it again. That being said I could see this being a lonely life long-term if you always kept your distance, So I know I need to work out my issues.

I guess I wanted to encourage anyone who is past the divorce and looking on the bright side that there’s still a lot to unpack psychologically and emotionally afterwards And I think that’s OK. It’s not a choice to just say I’m great now and White knuckle it.

There’s still a lot of days when I-realize it’s not supposed to be this way (great willie Nelson song if you haven’t heard it) But you just Gotta move on at the end of the day and I know there is someone out there that will blow my hair back. Would love to hear some good news stories of the veteran daters here!