Question about being served…

divorceCourtisABiz · 2025-06-25T13:00:32+00:00

Its not an issue now or ever really. You have to remember youre not a criminal. As long as you are not found escallating on purpose or postponing in purpose, this is a divorce court. The judge is invited here. Youre not on trial and stop acting like you are. The only part that is serious here, is the insane ammount of money you are going to spend. Try to have a funny bone about it all. You will end up in a much better place especially if this becomes contentious.

Talita_Gur_972 · 2025-06-25T11:44:30+00:00

Missed attempts to serve can complicate things; usually, they just keep trying until successful.

FUMoney · 2025-06-25T09:10:24+00:00

My question is…is 2 missed visits to be served alarming to a judge/court? How long/many times if this happened would it be to where it becomes an issue? ....

EDIT: instead of advice on a lawyer (which I have lined up already) could anyone actually comment on the questions I posed?

The question you posed confirms you have zero legal experience, nor any understanding of the courts, due process, constitutional law, the litigation process, service of process, and both the statutes and the rules of court governing service of process and personal jurisdiction. You need a lawyer, period, end of story.

As to your question about "2 missed visits" being "alarming" to a judge or a court, not even close. The plaintiff/petitioner is trying to personally serve you. The process server missed you. This happens thousands of times in the United States, and other countries around the world, every single day. Service of process is legally, and constitutionally, required for the courts to exercise personal jurisdiction, a key tenant of due process, i.e. constitutional law. Two missed attempts when you're not home, or not available, won't even raise a question.

There are cases that have been held in abeyance for years when a person fled a state or fled a country; the executive branch and the judicial branch will wait for years until such time as that person returns to the jurisdiction to serve them. Or, there are alternative means of service, such as by publication. Public notice is deemed to put the defendant/respondent "on notice," thereby satisfying service of due process, and thus satisfying the constitutional requirement for personal jurisdiction.

Get a lawyer. Now.

I’ve heard some say she may end up having to file an extension of being served if it’s not done in time with the court but that process takes a lot of time itself?

The court rules and statutes likely require, in your jurisdiction, for service of process to be effectuated within either 90 days or 180 days of a civil matter being filed with the court. Depending on the jurisdiction, this requirement may be able to be extended on a showing of "good cause." Good cause is itself a legal requirement with its own rules, its own standards, and its own evidentiary showing for a judge to issue a good cause order extending the time to effectuate service of process.

Get a lawyer.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-06-25T07:57:50+00:00

People dodge service all the time, judge doesn't care until they come in for a motion on substitute service. Still then, won't care much. The first time he sees you, you may get something like: "Mr. Jones, you're a hard man to find."

But like most people, your reason for dodging ("waiting for the attorney you want to become available in two more weeks") is basically bullshit and not worth any stress. Once you hire your attorney, they will inevitably go to the court and ask for an extension for time to file the answer/counterpetition. Which will, in turn, will inevitably be granted. You can even go in by yourself and say, "Judge, I need a bit more time to find an attorney" which the judge will certainly grant because having you there pro se would be a fate worse than death for them.

Is this highly sought after amazing attorney advising you to dodge service? That would be a bit of a red flag for me.

EarlDooku · 2025-06-25T02:12:11+00:00

You need to just hire a lawyer for yourself. You can appear in the case without being served.

CRobinsFly · 2025-06-25T02:01:25+00:00

You can play process server games, it does work if being served doesnt serve your needs at the moment.

I've done it. Ex has done it. It isn't illegal.

In retrospect, I wish I'd have done it harder. One lawsuit I pushed all the way until they did "for publication".

If she cant get you served, actions against you do not progress and she will need extensions and stuff.

overarmur · 2025-06-25T01:58:18+00:00

Call them back and schedule a time for you to be properly served that works for both of you. No need to complicate it.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2025-06-25T01:32:20+00:00

If there is any thing at issue between you, you need a good local divorce lawyer. Once served you have just a few weeks before your response is due. Waiting 2 weeks seems like a long time to wait unless you know for sure you are going to hire this attorney. You should consider lining up at least 2 more attorneys to interview now so that you will have one on board in the next 2-3 weeks.

Don’t play catch up, get your head in the game.

Unrepresented or poorly represented men don’t usually do very well in divorce proceedings.

Particular_Car7127 · 2025-06-25T00:50:15+00:00

I hope when she told you she was filing, you started picking and retaining a lawyer‼️💯

But by the content of your post, I will assume not!

Highly suggest you lawyer up, and they will handle everything for you.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2025-06-25T00:44:44+00:00

Just agree to be served. Eventually they’ll serve you at work.

Title	Question about being served…
Author	Funny_Object_5538
Upvotes	10
Comments	21
Date	June 25, 2025 12:41 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ljs00s/question_about_being_served/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question-about-being-served.1555507 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555507

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