Successful Divorced Men; Tips and Tricks, share your secrets

Seldation · 2024-02-14T03:52:10+00:00

Start a biz and then build it to the point where you don’t have to work more than 20 hours a week

And then spin it off into a tangentially related company that uses the same infrastructure, but serves an entirely different market That requires absolutely zero more hours from you, because you can just hire it out immediately.

cdjohnny · 2024-02-13T17:27:10+00:00

Be wary on the options advice, 90% of traders lose money.

Reflog1791 · 2024-02-13T17:08:00+00:00

Lots of great advice, I’ll reiterate the basics: gym, haircut, wardrobe, job/raise. Upgrade all of these.

Now for my personal tips. When you wake up in the morning, smile first thing. Just force a smile on your face. I made this a habit when shit was tough. Now that things aren’t tough it is so easy to wake up and smile, get the day started on a positive note.

Practice gratitude. Your boss and everyone else hates victim mentality and negative energy. Gratitude breeds the opposite and your boss will notice your new attitude. Might be worth a 15% raise on its own! It was for me.

Pick up golf.

mhall1201 · 2024-02-13T15:10:41+00:00

Forgive. Forgive her, forgive her family, forgive yourself, forgive your family. True forgiveness unbelievably difficult. Not only is forgiveness healthy for you as a person, but it also allows you to get opportunity to demonstrate yourself that you can do difficult things.
Don’t badmouth your ex. In social and work settings, it is a very bad look. Nobody that you’re talking to cares who did what and whose fault it is. (The only exception to this rule would be the most private of settings, forums, such as this, therapy, with your closest personal friends)
If you want to be truly successful, the first thing you need to do is to define what truly successful means. You have to be hyper specific here. If it’s a money thing, you need to know exactly how much money, down to the scent. If it’s about a house, city, number of bedrooms, square feet, lot size. Success is not necessarily that hard to achieve, most people just have no idea where they’re going.
Embrace the fact that, in most cases, success has very little to do with talent, you know, or what you’ve been given. For the most part, successful people are the hardest working ones in the room. They are the first ones to get there, and the last ones to leave. They will skip vacations, come in, and work on holidays and weekends. I know some people will gawk and say something about talent or inheritance or whatever. Some people do get there with talent, but most get there through hard work.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-02-13T15:09:05+00:00

Here are some tried and true things from 20+ years of divorced men:

A year of peace: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=81659
Wait one year before dating: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=81647
Go lift heavy things.
Level-up after divorce. I'm six years post-divorce and making 50% more income than I did at the time of divorce. That's something I would have never done if I didn't divorce, because I was lazy/content.
Adopt Stoicism as your operating system. Read "The Obstacle is the Way" by Ryan Holiday.

Classic-Ad8157 · 2024-02-13T13:10:31+00:00

Gym and therapy, those are my go-to ways of forgetting what I’m going through. I have a handful of good friends that are great for me but are keeping their distance, and I don’t want to drag them in to anything before it’s finalized.

For the most part, my mental and physical fitness is where I’m focusing my efforts when I don’t have my kids. I have some lady friends who take care of my needs but a relationship is honestly the last thing on my mind.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-02-13T13:09:07+00:00

Ok so I may have posted my list before but I hope some of these help you OP and I’m sure they reinforce what many say.

• Know no matter what happened its not all your fault, take accountability for your 50% and move on. Don’t dwell on coulda,shoulda,woulda. It’s wasted energy. Energy better spent on becoming successful.

•Invest your money if you have enough and get an emergency fund before investing,always.

•workout, your mind and body need to be healed and in good condition. This will help have the energy for side hustles and working more hours to create more pounds/dollars. Money creates freedom.

• Find new friends or reconnect with old ones. Opportunities may arise from a old friend and just having each others backs and knowing there a good people out there regardless of all that you have been through. But with this never give anyone room to run through your boundaries. One good rule for life , always protect yourself.

• Dating.. Coffee date or a drink with a walk should always be first date. None of this Full three course dinner nonsense. To many free loaders out there. Take it slow. If there a real one they will stick around.

• Its ok if you want to treat yourself. Just don’t make a habit of it else you will be broke as quick as that.

•Lastly Children. If you have kids. Fight and prioritise to have time with them. They grow unbelievably quickly and they will remember who was there for them.

Be a good man and lead your life. Others will follow if you make a good one.

rhett342 · 2024-02-13T12:29:24+00:00

Don't sit around the house feeling sad all the time. Get a job that let's you work tons of overtime. It'll get you out of the house, you won't have time to be sad, and you'll be making good money that I'm sure you'll need to help rebuild your life.

No-Exit6560 · 2024-02-13T10:39:04+00:00

There will be a period of mourning and grief as you lament at the life that you thought you’d live.

Then, one day you’re going to wake up and hopefully see that you’ve got got one life to live and you damn well better make it count.

Chips down? Focus on the small positives, did you eat today? That’s better than some people in this world. Sometimes it can get bad and you just have to focus on the little things, did you get to enjoy time with your kids, even if it was just for the day?

Different situations regarding if there’s kids involved vs not. If there are fight like hell with everything you’ve got for equal custody so you can be a positive male role model. If there aren’t then count your blessings.

What got me through? Just before shit hit the fan I joined a martial arts academy and was welcomed into a tribe that accepted me, and as time went on and shit hit the fan had my back; I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.

Now I’m an instructor at the academy and the owner and my Jedi master is my son’s godmother.

I’d already reached FIRE during marriage and managed to keep my finances intact because I had a nuptial agreement in place but what really kept me from going looney tunes was those good people and the love they showed me.

I’ll never forget their kindness during my darkest hours and I’ll always have their backs in return.

Title	Successful Divorced Men; Tips and Tricks, share your secrets
Author	2penniesricher
Upvotes	5
Comments	33
Date	February 13, 2024 10:26 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1apqcah/successful_divorced_men_tips_and_tricks_share/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/successful-divorced-men-tips-and-tricks-share-your.1245290 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245290

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