Well limbos over, divorce time.

slam888 · 2024-02-09T15:23:54+00:00

If you haven’t noticed…there’s a common theme here. Mine has been “nesting” for years with no end in sight and nothing but failed ventures that consumed more than produced. She has divided the family against me and weakened and manipulated my sons not only to my detriment but to theirs. maybe yours is capable but mine is an entitled loser with delusions of grandeur and no grip on reality or money management.

If you truly want and can afford a divorce then it needs to happen beyond what’s on paper. Or else it’s not really a divorce is it? The kids will get used to you being around, the actuality of divorce will subside and things will revert or become awkward and uncomfortable in your own house.

You have to remember why you want a divorce and ask yourself if you want that behavior back in your life at some point in the future because it will return…I don’t and won’t take it anymore so I will be gone and not look back as soon as I have my finances right.

Isthisthereddits · 2024-02-08T20:44:17+00:00

Be careful it's not done till it's done. Even then with kids it's not done. Protect yourself. From someone without kids my stbx has found ways to rip open wounds and cause issues even throughout the process. She will find out what means the most to you and go after that in the divorce. I was too nonchalant about stuff being stuff. So she whittled it down to the dogs being my soft spot in divorce. She is now taking one of my dogs with no real plan of where she is going to live, how to earn enough as a full time student to care for a dog, and not even attempting to answer how she will make time for a dog. I adopted both of them. I pay for both of them. She doesn't attempt to see them more than once every 2 months and I think it's just to try and snoop around the house or put up appearances. In the separation she never told me she got a notice of my one dog's vet appt. That was in Oct. Just got that done today. Had we still been in Iowa I would have gotten the notice too, but the one time they had an appt here she never added my info and I wasn't the one to take her as I was working extra to support her as a full time student. Long story short don't let her see what matters most to you. She is coming to rip from you whatever it may be, custody, your PC, a car, the house, or some family heirloom.

Seemedlikefun · 2024-02-08T16:38:28+00:00

So what are you doing to protect yourself and therefore your children's future? What firewalls are in place to prevent or mitigate the damage WHEN your wife goes full psycho on you? Right now you are being rocked to sleep with the " 50/50 " and "what's best for the kids" smoke screen that she's giving you. It's right out of the modern woman handbook on how to destroy your STBX. Limbo isn't over, it's just the enemy stockpiling ammunition.

Embarrassed-Safe-670 · 2024-02-08T16:13:40+00:00

Trust me please. She is now the enemy. More evil and ruthless than any of histories dictator's. Keep your guard up !!!

bk2747 · 2024-02-07T17:28:57+00:00

Don’t let your guard down. If she had the high hand, or had successfully Monkey Branched; you’d be sleeping in your car or couch hopping. She’s not your friend or your ally.

Do not get all Buddy Buddy grab ass with her, and for the love of god do not sleep with her. She needs to stay in a guest room. Don’t let your guard down and do not share personal information with her. Do not discuss finances or other relationships. If it’s not about the kids, it’s not a topic of conversation.

And this is not me trying to plant seeds. You need to take heed and understand that she’s still the enemy. Being cordial and parenting is one thing, outside of that, you two are not friends and your guard needs to be up.

I also would not allow “nesting.” She needs to leave. She’s only being nice to you because it’s a survival tactic. You provide a financial incentive, if she was doing well financially, she’d be a whole reptile in a cloak walking around. Allowing the woman to nest and get on her feet is like sharpening a knife for her to stab you in the back with.

SkeptiCynical · 2024-02-06T15:09:48+00:00

Please read the sidebar and other posts here regarding her "getting back on her feet". Hint: it won't happen as long as you are providing financial incentive for her not to get back on her feet.

Please move forward with the divorce so you have judge's orders, a formal custody and parenting time agreement, and a strict end date for the financial support you'll be on the hook for.

Lean_BigDaddy · 2024-02-06T05:58:59+00:00

Hope the nesting works out, I think there should be more of that for the kids sake, no way my ex wanted to do that (she of course thought she would get more than 50/50 which didn’t happen!).

It should be parents living out of a suitcase instead of the kids is my point!

WhatsTheFrequency2 · 2024-02-06T04:41:22+00:00

How did the kids take it?

upvotersfortruth · 2024-02-06T04:12:55+00:00

March it forward, steadily, with sufficient pressure. This is the beginning, not the end.

Title	Well limbos over, divorce time.
Author	Comfortable-Long-419
Upvotes	19
Comments	16
Date	February 6, 2024 3:57 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ak0pn9/well_limbos_over_divorce_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/well-limbos-over-divorce-time.1244692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244692

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