When does it get better?/slight update

HisPanic25 · 2025-06-18T21:38:35+00:00

You can give her ridiculous orders as well and see if she'll follow them....she won't and when she asks if you've lost your mind say have you lost yours? no way i'm leaving my home, paying you xyz , etc. Custody should be 50/50 unless she wants to prove why joint custody is not in the kids best interest.

tyyyy110 · 2025-06-18T15:18:06+00:00

Just say "yea, yea, yea, I hear ya". And put your earphones on and ignore her. Currently, she believes she has control and power. HA. Let her think whatever she wants. But don't give in to her ridiculous wants.

Regular-Bat-4449 · 2025-06-18T13:43:43+00:00

Things get better two ways. You get an attorney who sets her straight. You also stand up for yourself and set boundaries

Unusual_University14 · 2025-06-18T12:41:39+00:00

I remember that phase. My ex-wife was under the assumption she would get full say over the kids, I would get to see them only when she deemed it thus and that she would get all my income. I tried to explain to her she had some pretty interesting ideas of what divorce looks like.

You don't need to move until a court tells you to, and while child support/alimony are calculators are can be onerous, no court orders dad into a homeless shelter for her to get all the money.

Your visitation will look something like this: https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/dads-custody-time-by-state.php (depending on your state).

Now, the only cautionary note is getting an order of protection against you. In most states, if divorce is filed first, then OP has to be heard by divorce judge. No divorce case, they can go to court, tell tall tales, get the OP and you are out. If you think she'll take that step, you should be thinking of filing for divorce first.

ApprehensiveSpare925 · 2025-06-18T12:16:19+00:00

If you move out it could be considered abandonment. Hire an attorney before you do anything.

Zealousideal_Try_864 · 2025-06-18T11:32:27+00:00

I’ll never forget the time during our in-house separation where i said…

“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore”

You need to stay in that house. It will be very uncomfortable for you. She wants you out because it’s uncomfortable for her.

Regarding the kids. On the weekends just make an executive decision to go somewhere with them and just leave. Go somewhere fun. All day. Get them out of your new prison.

Do you think that you are doing something wrong if you do that? Probably….you’ve been conditioned.

Things will get better when you start setting boundaries and stop obeying her. You have been culturally trained to think that she gets to make all those decisions.

You’re probably a people pleaser. It’s your nature. But if you keep trying to please her…..even if you get divorced, you’ll be married to her forever.

Sweet-Sale-7303 · 2025-06-18T09:54:41+00:00

If you don't have a court order she can't force you to leave. Only the courts decide who gets the house/appt. Don't leave until you get it worked out in court. Get a lawyer.

lifeisallihave · 2025-06-18T07:21:53+00:00

You have more options than you realize and if you play your cards right, you will come out winning. We always win. Control your emotions, and fight for your kids. They are your legacy, go make them proud. Show them you fought for them and for you.

Gattsama · 2025-06-18T05:52:15+00:00

You are under no legal obligation to leave. She can not force you out. Unless there is a TRO (temporary restraining order) or other legal order compiling you to leave, just tell her to kick rocks and stay. She can leave if she wants to be away from you that bad.

Funny_Object_5538 · 2025-06-18T05:35:21+00:00

Soooo….either you’re already broke or she’s living in fantasy land

Cool_Marionberry7132 · 2025-06-18T04:53:50+00:00

If you didnt break any laws, tell her to fuck off. Its not the movies, where some screaming wife kicks the husband out after an argument. There is literally a playbook for divorcing women so they can get what they want. That was my stbxw’s plan, didnt work like she thought.

It does get better because I am assuming you got the initial divorce decree, and have some shock from it. They ask for the moon in that, most of it wont be half true if you get a lawyer.

Comfortable-Might240 · 2025-06-18T04:47:33+00:00

When we starting fighting (nonviolently) back. Not litigating, negotiating, compromising, complying, submitting, accepting, tolerating, or otherwise sacrificing what is ours. Fuck them and fuck their system, fight (nonviolently and legally) them back

Title	When does it get better?/slight update
Author	rbandgdaddy13
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	June 18, 2025 4:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1le8b57/when_does_it_get_betterslight_update/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-does-it-get-betterslight-update.1554826 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554826

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