Are you basically undateable if you're obese?

Rude-Land-8260 · 2022-06-27T14:43:19+00:00

Well it’s like half the country so 🤷🏼‍♀️

FellasImSorry · 2022-06-27T10:31:32+00:00

Lots of fat dudes have partners.

Like leave your house sometimes.

zufo1980 · 2022-06-27T09:54:43+00:00

It is reversible. So - no problem there.

Mehitobel · 2022-06-27T22:34:49+00:00

My husband is obese. I love that man to bits.

Classclownremo · 2022-06-27T23:20:30+00:00

You can be obese and have a significant other.

daylightxx · 2022-06-28T01:08:16+00:00

Loads of people are overweight and even obese. And loads of those people fall in love all the damn time.

ShitFacedSteve · 2022-06-27T10:52:23+00:00

All the people saying “but you can lose weight” strike me as a bit lacking in understanding.

Sure theoretically an obese person can get down to healthy weight but it’s rarely that simple.

First of all, most obese people have some kind of addiction to food. Be it sugar addiction, stress eating, compulsive overeating, or what have you. Sure, you can overcome all of that, but it’s hard and usually requires outside help. And then even after you’ve beaten that part of the equation, the threat of a relapse will linger and you can easily end up right back where you started.

Furthermore, you have to keep eating. You can’t just stop eating like you can (usually) just stop taking drugs. You have to continue to eat in a balanced and measured manner, and you have to do that consistently, forever. You can see how hard that would be for someone who has struggled with it. And you can also see how just one slice of pizza could turn into an unhealthy eating spree, which then turns into weight gain or non-loss.

Second of all, there is such a thing as body type. And while obesity isn’t really a body type you’re assigned at birth, there are people pre-disposed to gain and retain weight more easily. These people will often be seen as fat or hefty even when they live a perfectly healthy lifestyle.

BUT getting into your actual question. No I don’t think obese people are undateable. I am a straight man and on several occasions I’ve been attracted to obese women and my ex-girlfriend is obese (She broke up with me).

And there are plenty of obese and overweight men with girlfriends, many with girlfriends that most men would consider smoking hot. And it’s not always because they’re rich or have a nice car or whatever, they just aren’t ashamed of who they are and they approach dating with confidence.

But it’s also a bit of a numbers game. Realistically, yes, for a lot of people, maybe even most people, obesity might be a dealbreaker. I think for a lot of people obesity is fine, but a certain level of obesity is a dealbreaker. For example someone who is 200 pounds and someone who is 600 pounds would both be considered obese but there is a 400 pound difference. Admittedly someone who is 600 pounds has a much much more serious problem than someone who is 200 pounds, but you get the idea.

But anyway, that’s it, this same truth applies to all other “unattractive” physical trait. Baldness, shortness, weird face, or whatever.

I think the physical traits that are most difficult to overcome in dating would be people with severe disabilities or deformities. But even people with those things find long loving relationships.

So yes, the world of dating can be daunting with so many people who have so many standards. And sometimes people are very cruel about enforcing those standards. But there are many people, more than just one, who will love you for who you are.

WhoDoomsTheDoomer · 2022-06-27T11:55:40+00:00

You can but it will be a lot harder for you

Carloverguy20 · 2022-06-27T17:22:09+00:00

Ever go to Walmart, golden corral, any place that caters to a lower class, working class population you will see a bunch of obese people with partners either on scooters or walking lol. Do you get out much? If you want to get better you can always change by eating better, working out, buying good clothes, being a good person, not being socially awkward or inept.

naianys · 2022-06-27T23:04:59+00:00

Lose weight.

n0name1026 · 2022-06-27T18:49:33+00:00

Obesity is a medical condition that you have to treat. It is something that will limit your options unfortunately. Strength is considered a key part of masculinity, so men and women generally see obese men as weak and a liability. Its not easy, but losing the weight is very important for so many other reasons. Its your health we're talking about so you need to focus on resolving something that could potentially really harm you before bringing another person into your life. Obese people are at risk of serious relapse or further sprialing if they get into a relationship and it ends badly.

Men especially can be very emotionally vulnerable because with the social expectations that you're supposed to put yourself out there and risk the rejections, after you get someone, its like holding a lit match in your hand while out in the middle of a storm at night. The harder it was to get into a relationship the more painful it will be when it ends. If you havent built your psychological defenses up, you won't have the healthy coping skills you'll need and may end up relapsing or gaining more weight.

Neil1398 · 2022-06-27T21:49:36+00:00

Lol you ever seen 600 pound life

5MinuteMentalFitness · 2022-06-27T13:42:09+00:00

No but you may not be alive long enough to fully enjoy all you can of it.

And sex will be very limiting and exhausting to say the least.

Abcox21 · 2022-06-27T21:55:59+00:00

Absolutely not. You’re undatable if you’re boring and have no social skills/circle.

saito200 · 2022-06-27T09:58:54+00:00

You can deobese, so there you go, problem solved. You're welcome

KayRay1994 · 2022-06-27T18:05:52+00:00

yes - unless you have god tier charisma/confidence

oneofamike · 2022-06-27T21:46:03+00:00

There are one or two girls that find 300 pound guys attractive. And the girls are not ugly either.

New_Soup_3107 · 2022-06-28T02:20:05+00:00

I mean my coworker just got married and he is for sure obese. Met her off eharmony and wifey isn’t fat tbh. Love to see it.

I think there’s other issues to worry about like overall health for one but hey whatever makes them happy

brztek · 2022-06-28T02:34:20+00:00

Nah, I have a friend that's obese and he has a girlfriend

MidwesternWisdom · 2022-06-28T05:47:14+00:00

I think it depends on how obese. For the most part people will tend to date within their BMI. People need to accept that it may not be the look you prefer. I'm overweight myself but not at the level of those people who ride around Wal-Mart on those motorized carts. That being said there was a point I realized you can't criticize people for not lowering their standards to your level if you won't lower them to your own.

Its going to be a tradeoff between looks and status for a male either way. I do agree with the red pill people on the idea that women tend to want high status men. Yet where I disagree is blaming women for it. One girl ghosted me when she found out I worked in a fast food place. I don't anymore. But honestly she has a degree, was a teacher and what did I bring to the table? At that point nothing. I was really a low status guy. So I took a break and am single now improving my life.

Honestly I could go out and get somebody I'm not attracted to at all but that's not worth it. I've just accepted I'm not up to being worthy of the caliber I want. The younger you are the more impatient you'll be but I'm in my early 30s, I've lived long enough that if I have to sit out until I'm in my mid 30s to be with the type of person I want them I'm ok with that.

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-06-28T10:34:59+00:00

Lose weight. Lower your standards. Date fat women.

TwinTails100 · 2022-06-28T11:29:28+00:00

I used to be a size 30 when I got out of high school. 8 years later and I still have no problem with attracting the opposite sex at size 38.

It's all in your head. Half of the country is overweight anyway and there are plenty of fat dudes with dates. Go outside and touch the grass.

Professional_Gear658 · 2022-06-28T15:46:25+00:00

You can date but I feel as though this term is used incorrectly. Obese is considered 30 pds over the recommended height/gender/weight. Ex: My fiancé that is 6,4” he goes to gym and has a muscular built. They say he’s supposed to be max: 200pds. He’s 230 which is considered “obese”. At 200- he despises this look and feels to skinny. He looks amazing and I love him no matter what. Many people fall under the overweight-obese category perhaps you mean to say morbid obese? In that case depending where you are it could be unhealthy but People will date you.

thepowerelite · 2022-07-01T09:09:05+00:00

Just be fit, tall, rich, hung, and white.

Abject-Confidence520 · 2022-07-20T15:01:41+00:00

i know u don’t want to hear this: try dating a fat girl.

Title	Are you basically undateable if you're obese?
Author	spankyourkopita
Upvotes	7
Comments	32
Date	June 27, 2022 9:37 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/vlrm29/are_you_basically_undateable_if_youre_obese/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/are-you-basically-undateable-if-youre-obese.1121287 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121287

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