can anyone stop me from falling into the red pill?

Exis007 · 2022-12-03T04:38:27+00:00

Bad news. No one is going to stop you from falling into the red pill but you. You can't reason someone out of an idea they didn't reason themselves into, and the red pill isn't logical. It's emotional. You feel lied to and betrayed and sad and frustrated and it's coming in with a soothing balm to say, "There there, here are some answers". But I don't care what the subject matter might be, anyone trying to take a really complex concept like why any two people fall in love or how to manage your money or what happens when you die and boil it down to a simple, easy-to-follow schema is lying to you. Without fail, 100%, that's bullshit every time. The only answer you should ever take for certain is that love is really fucking complicated, other people are chaos, and no one really knows much of anything for certain. It's all a big fucking mystery most of the time.

I do find there's a generational gap with relationship advice. Broadly speaking. People who grew up before the internet, who grew up in relative economic prosperity compared to today, aren't lying per say. I think about my mom's social life compared to mine, and how many more friends she saw weekly and how much more connected she was when she was in her twenties than I was. People used to actually hang out, in public, meet people, go out, go bowling, go drinking, go to parties. I don't think that old advice takes into account the radical amount of isolation people face today, and I don't just mean the pandemic. I mean the fact that I can order my groceries, shop on amazon, play video games, order in my movies...I don't have to leave the house, really. This is a different game, in a lot of ways, and the advice your parents had wasn't wrong necessarily, just irrelevant to the set of obstacles you'd be facing.

It's clear from what you're writing that you're unusually socially isolated. Everyone is more than people generally used to be, but you seem to be on the extreme end of that. That would be the glaringly obvious roadblock, from my perspective, as to what's going wrong here. But I'm not standing here saying I know precisely how to solve that. If you have fairly profound social anxiety, that's something that would need to be addressed. If there are deficits in your social skills (and I don't know, I don't know you) those need addressing too. I don't know you well enough to know what's standing between you and a social life full of friends and potential lovers. That's complicated work. But if I could guarantee you anything, I'd say spending a bunch of time on the internet obsessed with pill forums, categorizing people into chads and cucks and simps, is very unlikely to endear you to anyone, least of all women. Devoting yourself to bad blog psychology promising easy fixes should feel like an emotional MLM. They don't want your five grand in startup costs, just your time and your clicks and your engagement.

I will leave you with this. People think only stupid people join cults. It's not true. The conditions that best predict who will join a cult hinge on being socially isolated, disconnected from people, and feeling lost in the world and seeking purpose. That's when people are most vulnerable to someone coming along saying they know what you're feeling, they understand, and they have some answers for you along with a whole community of people who have been where you are, who understand what you're going through. That's the sales pitch. But I'm a woman, so you know, feel free to disregard all of that at your leisure.

xvszero · 2022-12-03T03:55:46+00:00

Get out of the small town, small towns will destroy you.

Then go walk down the street in a big city on a nice day. Spend some time outside and you will see hundreds of couples. The guys will mostly be normal looking dudes, not Chads with 6 packs. Same with the women, for that matter. Most people are normal looking, and most people date, eventually.

EmbarrassedEmu27 · 2022-12-03T11:26:17+00:00

For anybody who is stuck with redpill ideology I wouldnask them how is their life besides lack of girl friend.

How many close guy friends do you have and how often do you talk to them?. What do people close to you like about you? . Who are people in your current life that make you feel loved and cherished?. If women are the only problem because they are gold diggers what happen to guy friends? Why the resentment is focused only women when men too didn’t make you feel included in parties. Most hobbies men currently have are not group activities and desk jobs have made human interaction even lesser.

I empathise with you and I completely understand being lonely sucks. You haven’t had a win in long time. When bad things happen to us we have urge to blame someone. These pill bros gives you long list of reason to blame it on women. It would be wiser to accept that your are having a hard life at current timeline but it’s not permanent.

Most people battling lack of relationship are also isolated from close peer or a support system. On everyday basis whom do socialise with? . Start with taking chances at putting yourself at uncomfortable positions. Moving to new city will be good change for you.

When I lost my father I isolated myself and it took me years to come out of it, by then my friends were at different phase of their life. I then started a support group for people grieving loss of parent and those people become my close friends. Offer your hand to someone or expand your peer group with your current hobbies.

How do you think buying into red pill ideology will help your life in longterm? Is it just about sex?.

2022-12-03T09:01:58+00:00

If your life was essentially unchanged in the pandemic then it sounds like you live a very isolated lifestyle. You can't resent others for excluding you if now you are the one choosing to live that kind of a lifestyle. No one is going to chase you; it is your job to put yourself out there.

tinasnow-poty · 2022-12-03T14:45:23+00:00

You’re right in that as a woman there are things I’ll never understand about the male experience because I don’t have the frame of reference. But there are things I can tell you ARE true, and HAVE happened, and you denying it is just you “coping”. Like women making the first move. It happens all the time. I started the first conversation with my boyfriend. He asked me out but i was sending him the signals to do so. I’ve messaged guys first on dating apps. Yes, guys overall have the onus of approaching but to say women never make the first move is just an outright denial of reality. When people say “be yourself”, they mean don’t pretend to be someone else because a partner won’t love you for you, they’ll just love the persona you created and that’s not sustainable. It doesn’t mean wallow and be the laziest version of yourself

I won’t lie and say looks don’t matter, because they do. Most people have a personal attraction threshold. The good thing is though, everyone has a different one and people are into all sorts of guys. Some girls like Henry caville looking types, sone like feminine looking men, some like skinny goth dudes, some like raggedy skater boys. Im willing to bet you’re attractive to SOMEONE, maybe not a lot of people but to someone. Also, there are no negatives to being fit. You’ll increase your broader appeal by being a healthy weight, and increase even more by looking strong. You don’t need to be Chris hemsworth but any man can have nice arms and women love nice arms There are also a lot of people who are Demisexual and adjacent who just need to like someone’s character to be attracted to someone. There are also people who didn’t find their partner attractive initially, but grew to like them because of their personality.

I also won’t lie and say social anxiety is not a problem. I’m one of those girls who like charismatic outgoing guys because I’m a charismatic outgoing girl. There are also lots of girls who like quiet, reserved guys who prefer to stay at home on the weekend. But social anxiety? I’m not sure what yours looks like, but if you’re the type who can’t make eye contact or struggle to have a conversation - what is attractive about that? The basis of attraction is connection. How do you connect to someone who you can’t talk to? I understand being bullied has affected your social skills. That sucks man I’m really sorry and it wasn’t your fault - those people were horrible. But going forward how can you change? Being in a customer service job is the best way to get used to talking to people and making conversation.

Location is also a problem, if there aren’t many people overall there’s not many people to be friends with or date full stop. Hope your move works out

Yesm3can · 2022-12-03T08:16:54+00:00

Though I've had social anxiety, and as a result, I was treated like less than a person for most my life (although it's hard to say which came first). I was never invited to parties, ever. No one ever thought to include me in anything.

Isn't this the crux of the problem. How will redpill will help you with this? Faking confidence? Well that's been done by everyone with similar problem since the dawn of time.

What you need is a real pill, medically researched and produced in a lab that will steer hormones and neurons to get rid of your anxiety. And hey, if membership with the red pill comes with that literal pill, by all means.

failing2start · 2022-12-03T08:39:02+00:00

Nah. To answer your question no one can stop you from falling into red pill. You’re reaching out though, asking the question, so it means you have the choice. Right now, you’re thinking about making a choice. Preeeemeditation they call it. You get extra time for that so try to see this moment as a gift. You’re reaching out because you’re hitting a dark place and you’re thinking there’s nothing to hold onto here and you may just let go and get sucked into it because it sounds goooood. Better. Because what they are promising is that all the bad, dark, twisty feelings you’re feeling (which are 1000 % VALID) can just be lifted up off of you and pinned on someone else. Like a group of someone else’s. As long as you want to run away from feeling bad feelings there will be someone there offering you the easiest possible way to do so. The only way out is through and if you’re struggling right now reach out to people close to you and see a real therapist. Or, you know, don’t. Get sucked in to an entirely new and exciting fantasy land with expectations you’ll never meet and promises you’ll never see fulfilled. It’s just another way to externalization your grief. You don’t need a red pill you need connection, love, and support and you need to take responsibility for yourself and your life and start figuring out how to get those things into your life. You are the only one who can stop you from falling into the red pill.

vcreativ · 2022-12-03T15:38:15+00:00

But now, now that I'm over halfway out of my 20's, it's becoming more appealing by the day.

That makes sense, you're maturing as a man, and you realise that your situation appears (at least on the surface) to be atypical. It makes sense then to attempt to look for perspectives you may use to orienteer yourself. That's normal. So you're all good here.

Not being red-pilled has gotten me absolutely nothing thus far.

Personally, I am aware of the anti stance against RP. The reality will lie in the middle somewhere. It's nuts to me to assume that women are all terrible as well as to idealise them completely.

The rebuttal to the literal argument here is, (i) not(A) && not(B) very much doesn't mean that (ii) A => B. (i) only specifies co-existence of two states, entirely lacking information of their relationship. Meaning, to try RP has zero evidence of actually working.

And the red pill actually offers answers as to why that is.

Hard no.

So I can't take anything women say about this topic, as it pertains to the male experience at least, seriously.

Fair, though some individuals can be quite surprising.

It's reasonable to expect to have had one by now.

Somewhat. It really depends on your starting point. The world isn't inherently fair, though quite forgiving I found. Even outside of the looks department it's pretty easy to be given a bad deck of cards through parental abuse, for example. That basically by definition puts you out of the secure attachment area. Not to say that happened, just to say life can be difficult in all sorts of ways that are difficult to comprehend.

Lots of attachment is instinct driven. Meaning most people don't perform reflected decisions on which partner they choose, though I'm sure they'd vehemently argue to the contrary. This works most of the time for most people (though definitely gets them in trouble, too, which will be difficult to spot unless you know them well over time).

I have extremely blue-pilled parents. I was told to just be myself and everything would work out fine. I was told that women can make the first move.

Haha simplistic advice, how fun. I guess they can in the sense that they're literally able to, but is it common? Kindly forgive them their ignorance. For most people this process actually kind of works this way.

It's based on how the world ought to be, and not how it truly is.

An astute observation. Value of advice changes based on experience. Do ask for advice, but I've learnt to ask people in relatable situations. Of which I fear there'll be few depending on your resolution on the topic. Most people simplify problems to simplistic representations.

Whenever I bring this stuff up, there is never a good counterpoint.

You're asking people to argue a topic that they may never had to bind significant mental resources to for it to subjectively work "enough". Their answers will be about as basic as their experience is shallow.

5'9 130lbs if that matters.

My take. Both height and weight matters. Proportion is key and being somewhat close to 6' tends to be better than not. But we all have to work with what we've got.

Usually that's money, but it could just be status.

Personally, if a lady is ever asking me about my financials, I'm out the door. I feel awkward pointing this out, but that's definitely a flag.

Though I've had social anxiety, and as a result, I was treated like less than a person for most my life (although it's hard to say which came first).

You're reflecting here, which is a good sign. My advice would be, lean into it. It provides more answers than others ever could. One question would be, why do you think you feel anxious in social situations. Analyse childhood experiences in this regard. The two tend to be related.

And I have yet to see any good rebuttals

The rebuttal for myself has always been, if I'm looking for an emotional connection, then how can I find one by following a movement that correct or not, argues that women are simplistic and require manipulation to stay with me or be with me in the first place. And assuming that this works for a moment, could the end-result pre-defined as "success" really ever be meaningful?

Erich Fromm states that love can only exist where there is respect, understanding, and appreciation. But I could neither respect, understand, nor appreciate the person described above.

Based on this perspective the "philosophy" (meant colloquially, personally I'd always use the term sophistry) became useless from the get-go, since their success criteria (basically layered neuroticism to gain simplistic pleasure) contradict mine.

I couldn't possibly view these guys as men. Add to that Neil Strauss, one of the students to Mystery, the literal epitomy of a successful player, ended in depression due to his lifestyle.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/oct/10/neil-strauss-the-game-book-truth

Young Neil wasn't being terribly clever cognitively or emotionally speaking. He put his immediate physical needs way above his emotional ones, assuming one not to affect the other. He then wrote books about it and profited from pushing other vulnerable men off a literal cliff into dysfunction. He gave advice without actually being in a position to give advice, because he lacked competence to comprehend his own incompetence.

He then wrote a book how that maybe wasn't a good idea, now selling both simultaneously on amazon. Forgive me, but what a quintessential muppet! I refuse to view him as a man in the sense of that being a developmental achievement. Neither then nor now.

What I'm saying is, pick your masters wisely for you run the risk of turning into that which they are.

It may make sense to assess your childhood experiences and discover attachment modes and investigate a little to find yours. I'd like to point out, this isn't some pop-psychology. It's a hugely significant topic with lots of respected research done on that's the basis of all human connection and interaction. You may also consider therapy, I can only suggest it.

Therapy could be "just" CBT, looking at assessing some of your mental models and beginning to question them productively, it's like formalised common sense. Though I personally, distinctly not being an expert(!), would venture more into exploring attachment styles to gain a more nuanced understanding of your origin.

As a starting point:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHJXSBKYEaw

Bla bla bla, you should probably find some friends, just realise that you can't force friendships. Try to look at some clubs to join, there people have to put up with you. Also dancing might be a good idea for normal exposure to women.

Thanks for reading. All the best to you.

Normal_Egg_3469 · 2022-12-03T08:16:18+00:00

Build yourself to be someone that’s worth having in their life. In other words: be VALUABLE. Women and men must do that in order to attract a mate.

Also, I disagree with your comment:

“women only seem to like for what they can get out of them. Usually that’s money, but it could be status. They only want a guy who’s charismatic with a lot of friends and who is well like by everyone.”

Women basically want a man who can lead, provide, and protect. Part of that is having social proof, which can correlate with having status and being socially approved. That gives proof that you’re not some weirdo and or psychopath.

Yes, most women want a man with money but what that generally means is a man who has enough money to support himself and a bill or two in a serious relationship.

Next, doesn’t everyone want someone that they can “get something out of?” I would hope so, reason being, that would mean that person is VALUABLE. That’s what matters at the end of the day to your post: Be VALUABLE.

Don’t beat yourself up about this. Get some confidence, self-esteem and self-improve. Be brave. Take calculated risks and enjoy your life.

randomusername555554 · 2022-12-04T00:45:47+00:00

Not being red-pilled has gotten me absolutely nothing thus far.

This is your problem right here. Being a decent person doesn't "get you anything." Nobody is giving out relationships like prizes for those who outwardly act a certain way.

Finding a relationship is a search. You have to find someone who wants to be with you.

Women only seem to like for what they can get out of them.

You say this, but you also say:

Oh and I'm I've tried to make female friends , and honestly only interested in friendship, and I still rejected.

and

I've had social anxiety

So... you don't have any female friends, you don't socialize much at all because of social anxiety... but somehow you're sure you know what women want? Seems like you're in a stew of confirmation bias, my dude.

They only want a guy who's charismatic with a lot of friends and who is well liked by everyone

The women who want this are usually charismatic, have lots of friends, and are well liked by everyone... they want someone who is similar to themselves.

The women who have social anxiety, like you, and aren't charismatic aren't on your radar. They're at home, cross stitching (or whatever hobby). They aren't interested in that charismatic guy at all (though they may not be interested in you either.)

I was told to just be myself and everything would work out fine. I wastold that women can make the first move. That was a total lie.Blue-pilled advice is like that.

Again, nothing but your personal confirmation bias at play here. My current partner made the first move, it does happen. It is a thing. Expecting it to happen to you and not doing anything is dumb though. Why not seek out others as well as make yourself available to those who might seek you out? The best of both worlds. It doesn't seem you've done either, which it sounds like isn't your fault. It sounds like your social anxiety and maybe some PTSD from bullying is keeping your from either seeking anyone out or making yourself available.

What can you bring to a relationship right now besides financial stability? You think women can't understand you, which means you don't understand empathy very well. It also means you're not going to do any emotional labor in a relationship.

Your social anxiety seems crippling. People who get into relationships mostly want their partner to have some friends so that they can go out with them and do stuff. I have my friend group, and my partner has her friend group. Sometimes they have parties or get-togethers and we go out and do stuff with them. You don't bring any of that to the table, at least it seems from what you said. What are you and your future partner going to do together? Just be locked down together? Most people don't want that. Not everyone wants to be with the most charismatic people at the party, but they want to go out together and do stuff with other people.

You want the truth? That's the truth. You have to be someone that someone else is going to enjoy being with, and you have to find a person (or people, when your first few relationships inevitably fail) who want to do that. There is no red pill or blue pill or black bill. Emotionally manipulating people won't end in a stable relationship. Being a nice person won't grant you a magic wish. And, it has very little to do with the genetic lottery. The hard truth, the only truth, if you want a stable and lasting relationship, is you have to find someone and be someone who wants to be in stable and lasting relationship together who happens to be compatible with you. FIND. That's it. For someone like you and me, that's not easy. It wasn't easy for me at all. But, everyday all day people do it. Weird, annoying, and bizarre people do it, as well as popular fun people. Normal boring people do it. For men it can be like searching for a unbroken toothpick in a desert. For women it can be like searching for a unbroken toothpick in a silo of broken toothpicks and needles. It might take luck, it might take personal growth, and it might take going through a lot of rejecting and rejection. It will probably take all of those things for you. That's just the way it is.

The "pills" are just bullshit theories for people who want to take shortcuts. A red-piller will use "tactics" to prey on vulnerable women. He'll be a miserable piece of shit. A blue pilled guy will think if he acts nice, even if he's not actually nice, some perfect girl will come along like a fairy-tale. A black-piller will convince himself it's impossible, because it's easier to quit than actually try. They're all pieces of shit who are living outside reality to cope with their own shittiness. None of them actually like themselves. Very few of them are ever going to make a partner happy. If you want to go down that road because you think there is some "truth" there, go for it. This is exredpill, it's place full of people who tried that road and found out how miserable that "truth" is.

JeanGarret · 2022-12-05T01:54:51+00:00

Bro, you just want answers to give meaning to your torment. It's human, it's ok to seek for these answers. But that's the trap of TRP, it takes you deeper and deeper to a endless cycle of confirmation bias.

1- They create an ilusion of authority, a coach aurea from the guys who gives you the rp, he just seems to have what you want or somehow know better then you, and ofc, he probably went into shit similar to yours so you become more prone to what he says.

2 - They create a narrative of "us" against "they", so everything that questions the rp does not concern itself but others: the media, the feminist, the j3w$ or whatever. It all seem like an attack to you and you should resist. You dive deeper into the narrative.

3- They really use pieces of scientific knowledge, something like a "half-science" to enforce their beliefs and labels of the reality, it reinforces the first point, authority.

But comon boio, you're better than that, don't make your suffering affect your reasoning. Reality is complex, Science tries hard to understand reality and look at it, nothing is 100% stable or permanent, black and white, you really think that a knowledge sold you by a coach like figure will explain reality, human realations, femine psychology? Bro, as I said, they will put a little of science into trp to sell it as truth real and hidden knowledge, but if you be critical (which is hard to be when you are traumatised seeking for answers) you see that most of their evidence are anedotic and full of confirmation bias and cherrypicking. Also, they try to label and generalize on topics that are complex by definition.

Don't fall into this, be skeptical

2022-12-05T13:29:52+00:00

You have to stop yourself. You have to look into the darkness, see that it's a cult led by people who are liars, manipulators, and marketers, and see that the blind are leading the blind in the space.

You have to make the decision to leave that space.

You have to understand that as long as you're in that space, you'll be brainwashed by female hate and will get worse with women. Your personal relationships will suffer. Your life will become an empty and vapid pursuit of "P-sleeve" but because of said female hatred, you'll only attract the worst types of women.

Cold turkey and detox is the only holistic way to heal

nicog67 · 2022-12-03T09:47:47+00:00

Not to be disrespectful or anything but considering trp pushes all this about masculinity linked to building muscles etc... Im surprised youre 130lbs considering your height and that youre a guy. Isn't this very underweight? Also, trp pushes the idea that looks do matter a lot - don't know where you get the idea that they don't.

If you really think trp has no good rebuttals, you should be acting on what they preach. Youre clearly not in the physical aspect.

Xexitar · 2022-12-04T11:30:47+00:00

Tried to send this as a private message but apparently I can't, so I expect I'll be banned even though I don't advocate TRP as a long term strategy.

TL;DR - yes it works if you just want redpilled goals. No it doesn't work if you want bluepilled goals.

Firstly, TRP isn't some magical voodoo, and it's not a cult. It lays down a set of logical, observable things (which you've already said you've had lived experience of) and gives you a list of things to do to achieve them. TRP can and does work. If it didn't work there wouldn't be decades of literature and field reports and evidence. But it's success is only in achieving one goal - having sex with lots of women.

The issue with it is once you've achieved this, you will realise that's all there is. If you're using TRP as a strategy to achieve bluepilled goals (I.e getting married) it won't work. You'll just come out the other end bitter that being a psychotic dickhead gets you more success than being yourself. It shatters the illusion of women being something worth pursuing.

I've tried on multiple occasions to settle down, and as soon as I stop treating them like my bitch and like a partner on equal footing, they lose their attraction and go find the next asshole. Even after 6.5 years (my longest relationship), as soon as I started compromising and being thoughtful, she left. Some will argue that it's a result of not being true to myself in the first place. But I disagree, as I was heavily bluepilled for most of my life prior and had even worse results. My most recent ex jumped straight into a relationship with a drugdealer who I later found out had been throwing bricks at her. To my knowledge they're still together. "Women don't want nice guys" is a meme at this point, but it's true. They want fucking Lucifer.

Now, all I think when interacting with another woman is - do I really want to waste another 6 years of my time, compromising my time for it to inevitably fail due to a woman's fickle nature? No. I only have to think back to all the parties, family events and social gatherings with my ex's and their friends, and I relive the trauma of talking to people with the intellectual depth of a puddle of salt.

It's pointless asking people in this sub anything because you'll either be talking to other sexually unsuccessful men, or spurned women. Neither will help you. Women created this meaningless sex dynamic by wanting sexual freedom. Men have adapted and they don't like it. And instead of returning to traditional moral values, they have doubled down and call everyone an incel, because it's easier for them to cope with their own lack of worth if they put the blame on men "not being good enough" after a redpilled man fucks and chucks her.

Women define this as "having standards" but this is no different to what TRP call it - hypergamy. They want the tallest, richest, funniest, everything-ist man possible. As soon as you slip and a better option comes along, they'll take it in a heartbeat. There's no "for better or for worse" with modern women, it's better or goodbye. Men don't need a girl to be everything. A man will settle for a burger flipper at McDonald's if she's nice/pretty. Men are far less shallow than women.

If you get into TRP you'll come out of the tunnel having fucked endless amounts of women - so if that's your goal you will consider it a success. I personally don't. Not if you want to keep your bluepilled dream alive. Because for me I struggle to even find women attractive at this point. I've realised when I take sex out the equation, most women are incredibly boring. And have little else to add to my already great life.

The blessing of TRP is it does work. But the curse is that it fills you with disgust, because everything you've been brought up to believe is proven to be a lie. This is why it's called the red pill - just like the film, if you decide to take it, there's no going back.

Reasonable_Listen514 · 2022-12-09T17:06:20+00:00

The "Red Pill" is nothing more than learning the facts of human sexual dynamics between men and women. There is alot of truth to be learned that can help you live a better life. It only becomes a problem when you let it make you bitter and hateful. That's "falling into" it. The true red pill does not teach that women are the enemy or inferior to men. And yes there are many toxic personalities who claim to be "red pill", so pick who you listen to carefully.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2022-12-03T22:39:18+00:00

If you are determined to believe in a certain worldview, then nothing anyone says here will convince you otherwise. So instead of asking for rebuttals , a better question to ask yourself is how will believing in a given worldview help you?

MoronicRunner · 2022-12-05T06:45:22+00:00

I’m going to be brutally honest. The Red Pill is truth. The problem is, the truth can be somewhat promoting of Nihilism and so in some cases it actually helps to believe a lie. Imagine if every woman on earth hated you…and you knew that to be the case…would it not then be beneficial to at least believe they don’t. If not for the fact that it might give you a fighting chance of changing one’s mind, for the fact that you at least wouldn’t be burdened with the reality that you’re universally hated by the opposite gender.

I’d say, the logical extrapolation of Red Pill is Black Pill. Black Pill is just the prescription for all of Red Pill’s diagnoses of the world. Red Pill says women are one way, Black Pill says that if that’s the case, it doesn’t make sense to try. It’s like, yes, women choose mates selfishly, and yes, the chiefdom of women’s emotions in the calculus for their actions makes them untrustworthy, and yes, hypergamy does exist and plays a massive part in how women choose men, but do you cease ever having a relationship because women are a hassle? Maybe, it depends on what you value. Do you value security and stability (not necessarily monetary, but emotional) over a life of experiences? If so, stay single. If not, give a relationship a try.

I choose to stay single even though I’m an extremely attractive guy because I don’t possess the energy, patience, or restraint to deal with another woman, and it’s best for their safety and mine that I don’t. That’s my choice, and I chose to follow the red pill because I’m more comfortable with a life that I’m familiar with (doesn’t change much) and that offers me emotional and mental stability. But the same may not be the case for you and others.

And so I caution you against trying not to be red pill, not that you shouldn’t not want to be but it’s the TRYING not to be that’s the wrong approach. To put it blunt, the red pill makes a lot of sense. But what’s best is to understand the red pill and make the conscious decision, do you want to live a life of no risk taking based on the harsh realities of the world, or do you want to explore the insanely unique and rare experience that is the human experience, and use your limited time alive on this planet to experience as much of it as possible? See how neither is wrong, they’re just different approaches based on what outcomes you’d like out of life and your tolerance level for risk?

OkProfessional9405 · 2022-12-05T08:33:01+00:00

As someone who is just browsing this forum with an open mind I'd say delve into RP as much as you are comfortable.

I don't see what the problem is with focusing on bettering yourself. Your body, your career, your conversation skills, your grooming, etc.

I find RP to be very fair in pointing out that women are just as awful as men. Not worse, but not better.

Where I see RP being problematic is that the men who refuse to work on themselves and refuse to hold themselves accountable for their own failings use this as an accuse to just starting blaming women because boo-hoo turns out women aren't perfect either. Which is not what I take from RP at all.

I think understanding how we've been groomed to defer to women to the point of fearing holding them accountable is a freeing concept. But there's no question to do so requires you working on yourself first. The lazy ones who just 'blah, blah, got it, so when do I start getting laid' kind of turn their incel status combined with their perceived excuses from RP that it's all about bad women. They just seem to take from RP something I don't see myself.

WillfulBiscuit · 2022-12-15T18:27:40+00:00

Hey, man. I don't know if you'll still see this. And I don't know if anything I say will register with you, but I wanted to at least reach out and offer my words, and my ear if you decide you want to talk about it further. Send me a message if you so choose at some point.

I'm a 24 year old man. From the time I was roughly 15-19, in particular, I was in a similar position as you. I was teetering dangerously close to falling into the redpill and into inceldom. I don't think I ever fully fell into either category, thankfully, before I was able to dig myself out, but I absolutely was close to going over the edge. And my first point is right there, and its one I've seen past commenters in this thread make: I dug myself out, and you'll need to do the same. At the end of the day, the onus is on you to change your perspectives and work towards being the change you want to see in yourself. It won't be easy, and it takes time. And other people can help you along the way, of course, it isn't something that must be done solely independently. But as the saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

I want to start out by agreeing with you on something: a lot of the "advice" that people give out is essentially worthless. They aren't necessarily "wrong", but telling someone to just "be yourself!" isn't very helpful, especially when the person their telling has been told by society and their peers for their whole life that "theirself" isn't good enough, or that it's "weird", or "lesser", or "defective", etc. It's not practical to expect someone in your position to simply flick a switch and start "being themself". It comes so naturally to them, but to someone like you (or, dare I say, us), it's meaningless drivel. I felt the same way as you're feeling now. Though I'm roughly 5 years removed from being in danger of taking the redpill, I'm still pretty new to the anti-redpill/ex-redpill, etc, community, and I spent the interim not really focused on either side of it and living my life without its influence at all. But something I've noticed very quickly about this side of the community, if you will, is that they often don't have anything resembling an answer or worthwhile advice for someone in your position, they just go on and on about how bad the redpill is and how taking it is cringe. And both of those things are true, but just saying that on its own isn't enough to actually help people in your position and give them some semblance of answers, which as you mentioned in your post, the RP does. They aren't good answers, but they are answers nonetheless, and we need to do a better job of countering them with actual answers of our own.

Another thing I want to say is that women are not a monolith or a hivemind. No large group is a monolith. Are men a monolith? Are white people a monolith? Are Christians a monolith? Are Jews a monolith? The answer is no to all of these, of course, and women are no different. They all have a large range of opinions, ideals, preferences, etc. Are there some women out there who are so-called "gold diggers" that are chasing after money and status, as you said? Of course there are, it would be foolish to say otherwise. Just because someone is a woman doesn't automatically prevent them from being a bad person. There do exist bad women out there. Just as there so too exist bad men. But there are also plenty of women who would be loyal to a man they love, who would accept him as he is no matter what, who aren't just after money and trying to take advantage of men. And physical preferences of women can vary widely as well. In fact, a lot of research shows that the idea of the uber-chiseled and muscly man with bulging biceps and washboard abs is closer to the ideal of more gay men than it is straight women. And again, some women do like that look, of course. But other women like scrawny, skinny guys, others like chubby guys/BHM, some even like short guys (its true), some like an average build, and some don't have very strict preferences at all. You mentioned that "They only want a guy who's charasmatic with a lot of friends and who is well liked by everyone." Well, can you guess what I'm about to say? Yes, there are some women who want a guy like that. But there are a lot of others who don't. There's just as many shy and reserved women out there as there are men, and those type of women, most of the time, would probably be intimidated or turned off by a guy who talks all the time and is awash in attention or social interaction. Again, not all, because we're dealing with people, not a monolith. But the opposite can also be true, there can be very outgoing and social women who are attracted to reserved and quiet men. It really all comes down to personal preference, and each and every woman will have her own unique personality, tastes, and preferences, just as every man has his own.

Let's do a thought experiment. Let's say you do meet a nice lady soon. You're really interested in her, and it turns out she's interested in you back. She ends up becoming your girlfriend. Let me ask you something: do you think this will instantly solve all your problems, and from that point forward you'll be happy? It probably won't, spoilers. It would help, of course, but having a girlfriend or a relationship isn't a cure-all for your problems, or anyone's problems for that matter. And only having one person to rely on isn't healthy for them, or for you. It sounds like what you really need the most, I think, is greater personal connection and sense of community. It's human nature to want to belong, and to fit in, and to connect with your peers and your community. I know you've struggled with this significantly, and that's ok. It doesn't make you a bad person, or less of a person, or a problem, and it is hard. There's been years-long stretches in my life where I had zero close friends I could rely on or connect with. Not a coincidence, this period of time overlaps directly with when I was most interested in the redpill and closest to inceldom. This is a delicate conversation to have, I know, but I will try and offer my personal advice as much as I can and what helped me make the changes I wanted in my life. One of the first and earliest things I did was make tiny, small changes in my daily life that foster more positive feelings and interactions. For instance, I made a change to start ending every conversation I had in public with me saying "Have a great day", or something similar. It helped me feel better, and it helped the person I was speaking to feel better too, and in some instances you can see them perk up and their face brighten a bit when you say it to them. This is still something I do even today, whether its to cashiers at the store, my waiter or waitress at a restaurant, or any other person I interact with on a daily basis. Another change I made was when I would hold the door for people, when they would say "thank you", instead of simply grunting or saying "Yep", I made it a point to respond with "you're welcome". This feels more personal and friendly, and people respond well to it. You can even tack on a "have a nice day" after that if you want. And, another thing is I would start off conversations by asking how they were doing today, or some other question of that nature. Again, it shows friendlyness and personability, and people respond well to that. Those were the three changes I made that I thought had the most positive impact on my daily life, but a few other things I did included going on walks outside to get some fresh air and get my body moving, admiring the beauty of nature and of the world, and removing myself from toxic spaces on the internet (I used to frequent 4chan, unfortunately, and I would also purposely seek out news I knew would infuriate me and make me angry, which is super unhealthy.)

Continued in the reply comment, because it turned out to be too many characters.

2022-12-15T20:54:26+00:00

you and you alone

Title	can anyone stop me from falling into the red pill?
Author	Ahpairee
Upvotes	10
Comments	81
Date	December 3, 2022 3:06 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/zb612s/can_anyone_stop_me_from_falling_into_the_red_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/can-anyone-stop-me-from-falling-into-the-red-pill.1143134 https://theredarchive.com/post/1143134

Comments