I’ve become a misogynist, and it needs to stop

imhereforthemeta · 2020-10-06T15:38:57+00:00

Hey friend! I appreciate so much that you are reflecting on yourself, that's really a massive step, probably the biggest!

I think sex is complicated and it can mean different things for different people. What you are expressing sounds a lot like when poor folks resent folks with money, less attractive people resent attractive people..basically the feeling that people are not appreciating what they have.

One thing that is important to remember is that while women have more access to sex on some level, access to sex where our needs are being addressed is...a different story. I used this story in another post recently, but until I met my husband I thought sex was supposed to hurt/not be fun for the woman. I thought it was sort of something you sacrificed and not something you actually could enjoy. Unfortunately, as much access women have to sex, it doesn't mean access to an orgasm. or sex that isn't centered around- for lack of better term a pump and dump.

Access to sex also means access to unwanted sex/sexual advances. Being followed around by men at night in the city saying they want to do disgusting things to you, sexual abuse, fellas who won't take no for an answer, being online and receiving regular sexual harassment at every turn.These unfortunately are very real experiences as well.

I think a lot of women have learned to commodity sex because it's often used as a weapon against us. In terms of things like being a sex worker, that is certainly no glamorous life and it's filled with many dangers and is not a long term option.

I can absolutely empathize with feeling resentment when it feels like folks don't appreciate what they have, but there is also usually another side to it.

Stargazer1919 · 2020-10-06T15:06:29+00:00

I can tell you from my own experience that misogyny is damaging not only to women, but to men too.

Misogyny creates trust issues in men. It creates anger problems and unhealthy fixations on things. It does not teach men how to respect other people. It does not teach men to be responsible. It does not teach men how to buckle down and get things done (such as chores or various life responsibilities) that are "beneath them" or not interesting to do. It does not teach men to deal with their emotions in a good way. It does not teach humility. It does not teach men to be level-headed and fair.

Instead, it puts all of those responsibilities and blame onto women. Do you really want to be one of those types of guys, or do you want to be a responsible adult and act like one?

FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT · 2020-10-06T13:54:16+00:00

/r/menslib is a good start, and has less bad takes than this sub. I recommend it heavily.

MuslimHistorian · 2020-10-06T14:14:25+00:00

> Thinking that any woman who is famous only got there through the casting couch, and that many moonlight as high-class escorts.

this can only be true if you're relying on the fact of highlighting a few successful women at the expense of many more women have been exploited in the same business, only a few win at this game

Only Fans combines the sexual exploitation of mainstream porn with the economic exploitation of the gig economy.

and I want to ask are you more resentful of the fact that you aren't having sex or that you're missing intimacy with someone in your life (which includes sex)

so like some people can become bitter bc they feel like they are entitled to sex, but wouldn't that come at the expense of the other person's autonomy? I ask about the intimacy bc wouldn't it be better to have someone desire you as much as you desire them in an intimate way?

Coollogin · 2020-10-06T14:21:12+00:00

How do you feel about men? How do you feel about men who only hire people who will provide sexual gratification to get the job? How do you feel about men who choose to spend their time with a temporary employee (prostitute) rather than someone who wants to be with them without being paid for it?

camellight123 · 2020-10-06T17:11:56+00:00

Instead of being mad at the handful of women who have had no other choice to achieve a life long dream, but to submit to the exploitation of men more powerful than them. Be angry at the society that doesn't make women succeed based on their talent and intellect, a society that wishes to exploit their bodies through sex and coercion.

raziphel · 2020-10-06T15:29:59+00:00

The first step is admitting it. The second step is not beating yourself up over it. You'll have Feelings^TM and that's normal, but recognize them for what they are and use that as fuel to be better.

Empathy is a learned skill, and it takes work. Be patient. Learn to be kind, and learn to view the world from the perspective of others. When you make a mistake, apologize and ask for forgiveness.

You can do it.

Remember, how you react to things is how society has conditioned you to react. How you react to that determines who you are as a person.

embar5 · 2020-10-06T13:14:44+00:00

It's true that sex comes to women easier. But just remember they face their own challenges.

And sex is not more special to them, judging by how often they engage in it vs eating chocolate, haha.

Another angle to hit this from is to see girls who've gone that bad girl path as equal to good girls. That's even more powerful because it corrects your value system at a better place, in my view at least.

OhDatBoi1273 · 2020-10-06T14:54:13+00:00

It's not bad to know that there are people who ease their way with favors or sex but it is important to remember that there are men who take advantage of this, that they often force women to do it and that there are a lot of women who never get a chance because they prefer not to take those chances. Think about these people when you think about the bad ones and consider that the bad ones often are forced and are not bad at all.

Coollogin · 2020-10-06T18:27:12+00:00

May I ask: What was your family situation growing up? Was your dad around? Did your parents have a loving relationship? Do you have sisters? That sort of thing.

-AlwaysBored- · 2020-10-06T23:49:50+00:00

To think different about women sleeping with someone to get a movie deal, (also note that majority of women earn their jobs in the same way as men)

Imagine yourself, just as you are. Imagine that your lifelong dream has been to be an actor. You worked hard and really you're good at acting. Now imagine that you're really close to getting that dream role, the role that would finally set your career in motion. But then a gross, clearly prejudiced towards you director demand to fuck you in the ass to secure the role. If you refuse, hes gonna make sure you will never be hired in that field again. You have been put in a horrible position, you lose either way. But you have to make a choice.

asshole67throw · 2020-10-06T14:58:53+00:00

I mean the thing is you’re not wrong which is why it’s hard to turn these feelings off BUT

You are wrong about two things: Prevalence and duration.

Not all women do this. And those that do, don’t do this forever.

In fact it doesn’t even apply to just women, men do it to.

There are guys that go through a slut phase. It is easy to rack up numbers, if you have your own place, and if you have zero standards, and you have a 9-5.

If you’ve got that down, you’re not fat, and you’re not socially awkward, you can be a 6/10 and sleep with 50 women in a year, if you just care about numbers.

That alone would put you in “the top 20%” who are not addicts, weirdos, basement dwellers, incels, living at home etc.

The thing is most of the women will be 3s but if you’re just looking at body count who cares?

And, it won’t make you happy.

bonobo-no · 2020-10-06T16:37:15+00:00

Same but I haven't read that book and I hope not to. I never even joined the Red Pill subreddit. I just visited it and similar places and now the ideas are constantly in my head. I hate it so much. I like to think of myself as a feminist but it's hard when shit like "AWALT," "hypergamy," are in my brain all the time. I wish I could just get it all erased from my mind. I want to be "re-bluepilled."

Comfortable_Intern57 · 2020-10-06T22:52:10+00:00

Why do you hate and resent women so much? Do you have issues with your mom or are you just angry because you're a virgin or something? Nobody is owed sex in life. Nobody is owed love, nobody is owed relationships. Men typically want sex, women typically want love, both of us grumble about not being able to get what we want, that's just life man.

beigs · 2020-10-06T23:41:13+00:00

Head over to r/menslib for some support if you need it

Strange_Literature · 2020-10-07T00:17:05+00:00

It's takes strength and emotional maturity to recognize a problem. I don't think you should call yourself horrible though. Maybe you've developed some bad habits. Maybe you've gotten some bad advice. A good first step is reminding yourself that women are people. We have our own challenges to face. We have struggles you'll never identify with the same way you struggle with things we could never understand.

A key first step in learning to love others is learning to love yourself. You seem awfully hard on yourself which could account for why you're so tough on others. Learning self forgiveness could be key in learning empathy with women. If you want a good place to start with reading I recommend some of Colin Tipping's work. You need to start with how you see yourself before you can tackle how you handle your view of others.

2020-10-07T20:25:17+00:00

At least you're highlighting the fact that misogynists only hate women because they're horny.

Thank goodness.

Look at it like this, if you have to: us women are lowly, demonic, overly sexed fuckwits. Why stoop to our level with your precious manbits?

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-10-09T04:56:40+00:00

Thank you. Thank you so much

reggae-mems · 2020-10-06T13:42:56+00:00

I think a good cure could be posting this in a femenist subreddit or just subscribing to them so you can have a better look at what womens reality look like.

Also, hypothetically, what IF they did have sex to get a leg up? Whats so wrong about it? Whats wromg with prostitutes? If there is men who seek them? Arent the men here in the wrong? Imagine your boss asked for a bj as the only means for a promotion. You would just quit and move on right? But what if all ypur bosses everywhere asked for sexual favors, and i mean male bosses, not women. Its a horrible situation. Not all women give in, but some do. I recommend you adopt the sweedish aproach to prostitution and sex. And read and lurk mens lib and womens feminist subreddits. Also interact with real women

Edit: disclaimer right here: these famous women didmt get there by geting nacked and having sex. They are very talented individuals that slay at their job, just like their male counterparts. You are just envious of this fantasy version where people get rich by spreading their legs and not having to work "hard" (prostitution is hard work, i mean "hard" bc im sure you dont see it as difficpult work) and just relying on their charms and looks. Its a nice fantasy, but it is what it is, a fantasy. Real life doesnt work like that, and if it does, its called SEXUAL HARRASSMENT (read: harvey weinstine or any #metoo) But, You can allways make an onlyfans and sell pictures of you to women and make money, lots, it that would make you feel better or more.... powerfull? Idk what your views are on that. But if you are envious of sexy women maybe try making yourself feel sexy and chargepeople for your services too!

Master-Edward-3 · 2020-10-07T06:56:55+00:00

It’s only natural to feel envious of those whom have innate advantages over you such as the rich, taller men, and women who are the bare minimum of attractive for majority of men. Your speculation of a lot of women is accurate that plenty of them they do get ahead and use their sexuality and men’s lust to their benefit and advantage as a way in getting their way ultimately.

While you find yourself working for any and everything without assistance as a man. A woman with a natural beautiful body pretty much is biologically wealthy..Many women are born into their attraction to the point so as to compare to a rich child born into a wealthy family and gets all sorts of toys and cars without having to work much for it while most of humanity would have to work hard and save for nice things. A basic attractive woman is akin to a man being born with at least $300,000 by default in child hood and 6 foot 3 inches tall by the time he’s an adult. It’s difficult but there is nothing other than self improvement and therapeutic meditation to help eliminate your feelings. Women simply have those advantages in life over men like men have a couple such as upper body strength, and able to piss nearly any where outdoors and excel in business promotions. Anything within the realm of dating, mating and sexuality women are known to hold more of the cards to that game and get their way more often. It’s men that try to approach and please women by changing their characters and reveal why their unique and interesting. It’s women that are more flippant and dismissive of men. Men get down on a knee to propose to a woman. Men are expected to defend the women with their lives. Men are the ones seen as more disposable than women.. And so forth etc..

It’s one of the top reasons I always wished for a daughter versus a son. At least the world would not be as against helping my male child as with men and there would be more social help for a woman that is in need of help than would be to help a man. I see it even in medical funding with so much more attention brought to medical concerns that affect women like breast cancer being researched more than prostate cancer.

Title	I’ve become a misogynist, and it needs to stop
Author	nightliners
Upvotes	61
Comments	61
Date	October 6, 2020 12:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/j64k30/ive_become_a_misogynist_and_it_needs_to_stop/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/ive-become-a-misogynist-and-it-needs-to-stop.323309 https://theredarchive.com/post/323309

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