Looks is all there is in dating?

General-Greasy · 2022-10-26T12:36:52+00:00

Looks are definitely a prerequisite to some degree. They need to find you SOMEWHAT attractive for anything to happen. There's also preferences, like someone's 3 might be another person's 10.

mikey_weasel · 2022-10-26T13:15:08+00:00

I think you listed a fairly decent spread of what people find "attractive" and then slapped a big old label with the word "looks" on top of all of them. I don't think its an especially helpful model to consider how someone's "actions behaviours words and reactions" as "looks". They are much more useful to consider using words like personality, values, sense of humor etc.

Red_Trapezoid · 2022-10-26T12:57:49+00:00

Personality is and always will be king. It's not just something they say to make conventionally unattractive people feel better. It is an eternal truth. Personality often also extends to how a person looks. That guy with the great gym body? He wasn't born like that. That took discipline, persistence and organizational skills. All a part of his personality.

SweelFor- · 2022-10-26T14:25:18+00:00

Remind me, you're the person who wants to become an attachement style based relationship therapist and who writes "articles" about psychology, and now you write that only looks matter, like any incel?

It appears you never made it past the first step my friend, you have a long way to go, good luck

fathergoose77 · 2022-10-26T16:22:30+00:00

A) I think that you are missing the fact that how we choose to dress and style ourselves is often a representation of our personalities and is a form of expressions. It says something about WHO you are and what you value. Same with physical fitness and diet. Someone waking up at 5am everyday to go to the gym and meal preps healthy every week probably wouldn’t want to date the couch potato who only eats junk and frozen foods. It’s a lifestyle incompatibility.

B) what you call “social look” isn’t about looks, it’s literally behaviors. It’s not about “appearing to do the right behaviors”, but people are trying to identify actual behaviors and personality which are HUGE important factors when determining if you like somebody. Someone can be physically attractive but if their behaviors are off, then that might not be a stable partner to date.

I’m going to be honest, it sounds like you’re purposefully ignoring what those things actually mean when considering dating and simplifying it all as just looks. How come? Is it easier to think of everything in terms of looks for you instead of digging deeper?

rhymeswithgarlic · 2022-10-26T13:52:02+00:00

I'm sorry that you have such a superficial and materialistic approach to mate-seeking and dating. Very TRP. If you're trying to be 'ex-red-pill' it's not working.

theunamerican · 2022-10-26T13:46:31+00:00

Looks do matter, just not to the extent that TRP or Black pill thinks it does. While you don’t have to be 6ft chad to get a gf, there’s no denying that being in shape and grooming increases your dating prospects.

saito200 · 2022-10-26T16:39:03+00:00

> Looks is all there is in dating?

Obviously, no. It is really obvious that it isn't.

Everything is X. All people are Y. No, no, no. That will lead you so astray in life.

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-10-26T17:46:40+00:00

Oh absolutely not.

Yes looks do help in some instances. But most of us have resigned to the fact we aren't getting a male model totally buff and toned perfect chiseled face and like hair/clothes on point. Does it help sure but it's not the edge.

Like that's unrealistic. I would rather have an average dude who has similar hobbies as me and interests that clicks with me and is kind and patient with me. All the way that man will be a 10/10. The hot thing is just a bonus beauty is skin deep. Who you are really on the inside matters more.

xvszero · 2022-10-26T17:54:17+00:00

Nah. I look like a poor slob and my wife loves me.

FellasImSorry · 2022-10-26T21:22:00+00:00

Yes. If you define all human characteristics as “looks,” then looks are all that matter in dating.

Naus1987 · 2022-10-26T16:44:03+00:00

How you look only matters to people who value that stuff. Which a lot of people do. I don't think enough men fully recognize that they themselves are shallow. And the only reason they're getting rejected is because they're shallow going after shallow people, and they're just not playing the right game.

However, this is another great example of "just go outside!" You'll notice people will be together who aren't always pretty.

And if you boil down "your actions equate to how you look" then you've basically said that the whole point of being alive is how you're perceived, and it honestly doesn't matter. Jack Sparrow and Willy Wonka don't go out there giving two shits what other people think of them. There are absolutely people like that who just do their own thing.

----------

My best advice for dating, is if you want a meaningful relationship, you have to find someone who values you for more than just your pretty face. And the best way to find someone who cares about more than your face? IS to actually BE MORE than your face.

Too many men think women only want them for looks, and then are surprised when women leave them for something else. You can't build a relationship just on looks. YOU HAVE to be more than your looks.

Goddamn, so many men out there like zombies without a personality. It's like all they do is claw at some online influencer and consume all the content and just morph into shittier versions of the people they watch.

Be your own person. You can literally be anything you want. Just do it!

LGBTVanguard · 2022-10-26T15:09:04+00:00

Yes.

I sure as hell ain’t settling for some ugly ass man!

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VigilanteJusticia · 2022-10-26T17:57:31+00:00

Sure. But this is subjective and to be taken with a grain of salt

CookieAny1923 · 2022-10-28T18:23:18+00:00

I’m not going to lie and say being extremely attractive isn’t a HUGE bonus, but looks are definitely not all there is to dating.

Like or not, most people are average and as long as your average looking your pretty much at an equal playing field with every other man or woman.

It’s really your personality that matters. Because if your a man that comes off creepy or a woman that comes off as crazy, then good luck. No one is dating the 10/10 30 year old living in their parents basement.

Find out what is attractive to the opposite s*x and be that. Of course I’m not saying you can be a 600lb and deformed and still get high quality men or women. But I am saying if your an average (or slightly below) then your best bet is improving your personality because looks don’t take you far if your personality is trash.

ColdMoon89 · 2022-10-28T19:54:46+00:00

Unless you're a successful doctor/lawyer/celebrity/politician, etc...I never understood how you can have "social status". A slightly rich small businessman or IT worker isn't gonna have 'social status'. Or do they mean 'the quality of friends'? Joe Schmoe with a rich daddy, or who went to a good university, can have 'successful friends'. But what does that really say about him as a person and potential partner? Not much, really.

In other words, social status is practically non-extent except for a select few.

Title	Looks is all there is in dating?
Author	ComebackDaddy
Upvotes	0
Comments	48
Date	October 26, 2022 12:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ydwhps/looks_is_all_there_is_in_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/looks-is-all-there-is-in-dating.1137255 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137255

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