Probably preaching to the choir here but I cannot help but realize a lot of our pain around romantic relationships or lack thereof is perpetuated by other men (generally).

One of the more pernicious mindsets that I see perpetuated by men is the idea that women have inherent value but men's must be earned. I myself have struggled to unwind this mentality for a long time. I have a friend that sent me an IG post from a men's dating coach promoting this idea with a text that just said "facts." I'll spare you the details but he's kinda going through it post breakup in a new city and I can see him sliding into this type of content (I'm doing my best to compassionately challenge him on this). While I think intended on being empowering I think it does the opposite. You're supposed to build your value but when is your value "enough?" It's a perpetual not good enough cycle. Also, given it's framed from a perspective of romantic desirability it seems to implying that you're building your value for a woman who's romantic approval will cosign your worthiness. This is neediness by definition. I think quite frankly the worst thing it perpetuates is the idea that men do not have inherent value. The deeply ironic thing is that once you as a man or women start carrying yourself with inherent value you're going to become more attractive. I have yet to meet a woman IRL who thinks this. It's only dudes.

The second thing I see is men shitting on other men for enjoying being single or at least attempting to enjoy being single. I noticed this in a post I read over on r/self (you can see it in my comment history) as well as my own personal experience. I think the OP in that case might have been coming from a place of bitterness more so than genuine happiness/contentment but at least he's trying and if you read the comments it is most definitely men talking down about it. I never feel like I observe this when women make similar statements even if it comes from a place of bitterness or resentment. Women are entirely more supportive of each other. In my journey towards contentment and happiness being single I have done what women have said they've done, nurture their platonic relationships, experience new things, etc and it has helped me so much. As men we really have to be showing up for each other and being supportive. The men I have kept in my life are like this and I myself am striving to be more like it. Edit: forgot my personal experience. I was in a friend group with 3 other dudes, half single (myself and a divorced dude) and the other half were in relationships. One dude's relationship had just started and a month into it were having some issues that were pretty serious. I basically advocating to cut his losses and focus on enjoying being single which was met with anathema by the other guy's not going through it (everyone else). I would honestly not trade being single for either of the other guys relationships.

I had honestly written more but decided to focus on those 2 points. In general over the last few months/year I have really found myself agreeing with women when they're saying we're bringing a lot of this upon ourselves. The good news is there is a path forward. We just as individuals must be willing to take it.