What is all this average men and average women? This is just immature.

fathergoose77 · 2023-09-21T16:11:24+00:00

It’s immature because it’s catered mostly to lure young boys, especially teens who have not fully developed their sense of self yet. So by nature, it’s immature.

The whole thing is a grift to play on young and lonely men’s insecurities. The grifters will say anything that riles up peoples emotions (like you will never be worthy of love if you don’t make six figures, have a six pack, and are 6 ft tall). They’re setting unrealistic standards because that’s the only way their viewers will keep coming back for their content or buy their “dating coach” classes.

Redpill as a concept is also from a right wing ideology, and research has observed that many young men who get sucked into redpill also end up going down a pipeline to having more alt right wing views. So, it’s also political propaganda disguised as dating advice, and it specifically draws in people who are emotionally vulnerable and don’t have the best critical thinking abilities (which is common amongst young folks with little life experience).

That’s why something so obviously dumb is spreading like wild fire. I was as perplexed as you are.

Edit: I’ll also add, content that gets people angry and plays on their emotions gets more likes/views/shares. So, many platforms like Reddit, YouTube, twitter (and Facebook was specifically in trouble for this) pushes that content in everyone’s algorithm because they know it causes more engagement regardless of the harmful consequences. They’re getting more money and traffic on their platforms, so they don’t care.

spiraldinosaur · 2023-09-21T17:46:58+00:00

We can take statistics and we can find averages from those statistics. We can find average height, average weight, average income, average number of matches on Tinder etc etc. Of course, there are 3 ways to find the average, and each will give a different result, and can be interpreted in different ways.

But, when it comes to dating and relationships, this stuff is entirely worthless and usually only makes people feel bad about themselves. Sure, if you're a sociologist or an anthropologist, go ahead and browse the data. But if you're looking for a relationship or even just a hook up, it is entirely irrelevant what the rest of the world is doing. What matters is you and the person you're speaking to. You're just two individual people, with individual interests, needs, desires. You can't know anything about the woman you're speaking to by studying stats about women. Just have a god damn conversation already and put your damn phone down!

eatfleshdrinkblood · 2023-09-21T13:38:32+00:00

I hate it too, and those dating subs are filled with incels and red pillars I had to unsubscribe to all of them. I remember in r/PurplePillDebate which is basically and incel sub. I mentioned having autism, and I got called a low vaule beta who was destined to die alone. Yeah fuck that red/black/pink pill dickriding sub and there shitty CMV threads. Sad thing is a lot of these douchebags that do this low value stuff are in there 30s too.

spicytuna12391 · 2023-09-21T17:56:49+00:00

Anyone over the age of 18 that uses those terms "high value" "low value" whatever, is immature and undateable. It's not even just on Reddit, Instagram is littered with comments like that. There will be a picture of a meme posted, and what I assume are bots (always no profile picture, "foreign" name) saying "You're average at best." Or "ugh women these days". Like wtf is going on? But I never see this shit in real life. I've never had a conversation with a man that talks like this.

absolutebeginners · 2023-09-21T15:40:40+00:00

There are certainly average people, dictated by where you are, its not a moral judgement. Average looks, average income, some good some bad personality traits, average intelligence. These seem like real measurable things, but yes, are based on the ideals of a given society. And yes in the dating market there are high value people--good looking people, rich people, famous people, generally have more options.

Dear-Tank2728 · 2023-09-21T14:15:03+00:00

Its the high value part that gets me. Like is there even such a thing? Like yeah Dating is kinda a market as far as supply and demand goes and in how cetain things have more appeal than others but id argue it isnt as clear cut as "high value men and the average masses".

Cultural_South5544 · 2023-09-21T18:43:48+00:00

I think you take it way too personal as real value is not a judgement of your persona, but rather an indication of what you're putting in to becoming an awesome person. Some of these channels focus on superficial things like height, money, etc. but thats just the sad state of society nowdays. I pity them.

In my opinion high value pertains to what you have to offer. If you have built true confidence, cool friends, hobbies, you probably have a lot of happiness and fun moments to share. You're working at life to be in a good place mentally. Doesn't everyone like to see that in a partner? Someone who gives you good vibes?

Now compare that to someone whos sitting around depressed all day eating junkfood, doesn't have much to offer. Does that make them a lesser person? No. But are they attractive to the opposite sex?

Tbh its sad that redpill teaches so much toxic shit, but I think they are dead on in this regard, and I see it play out in the world. Work out, buy good fitting clothes, work on your character. People will notice you more.

BlissfulBlueBell · 2023-09-21T23:17:47+00:00

They need to stop judging people for being average. Most people are average lol. I hate when they go around calling people "mid" when they probably never looked in the mirror. This high value low value crap needs to stop too. Just be a good person, that's it

Same_Resolve2645 · 2023-09-22T05:33:50+00:00

Honestly at a certain point when they are constantly calling women average or "mid" and calling men high value men it just sounds gay to me.

99power · 2023-09-21T17:28:44+00:00

I don’t think everyone who says this is redpill. This seems more like a social media thing.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2023-09-21T18:55:02+00:00

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4053512/

Funny thing is the averageness theory of facial attractiveness says that the mathematical average of all the faces in the population will be perceived as the most attractive. I understand that “average” is used as an insult in general use in the sense of “mediocre”, but anyone who wishes to have an attractive face should wish for the most average face possible

_Neonderthal_ · 2023-09-21T21:12:50+00:00

There is no such thing as average men and women

Well, by the literal definition, there kind of is

RobertB16 · 2023-09-21T22:00:30+00:00

Yeah, average and statistics are a social construct, it doesn't exist 🙄🙄🙄

ResistPrestigious373 · 2023-09-21T23:04:38+00:00

Agreed. "High value" is extremely subjective. It's stupidest crap I've ever heard.

ooa3603 · 2023-09-21T22:09:14+00:00

For the most part I agree with spirit of what you're trying to say, but I want to push back on some things.

Labeling people by generics is immature, but dismissing it outright, also unintentionally dismisses the impact of the underlying concepts behind the labels.

And that is just as immature in my opinion. It is also unhelpful and counterproductive to getting people from getting drawn into the incel/alt right pipeline.

People on these dating subreddits need to seriously grow up. Especially the whole agenda that I constantly keep hearing, high value men. Get the heck outta here. Like who cares, this is a real problem.

The problem is that the "high value man" label, while immature, is a concept that is of part of an underlying powerful urge for validation in human social psychology: social status.

The usage of "high value man" and similar terminology by people, is a very poorly worded and immature attempt to acknowledge the powerful force that is social status in the human psyche. And by social status I'm not talking about being famous or rich. I'm talking about the social status of being well regarded among your intrapersonal peer groups. For having things that people on the intrapersonal level desire: looks, intelligience, charisma, friends etc...

Incels and the like, in their misogynistic, insecure and entitled frustration see the power of status in society and either over-value or over extrapolate aspects of social status like money or looks. Consequently, they leap to hypocritical conclusions about it's impact in dating and relationships.

But just because they've taken the concept of social status to an extreme conclusion doesn't mean we should do the same in the opposite direction.

I think that's what I'm pushing back against. I think people outside the incel paradigm, unintentionally blind themselves to the impact because they don't have the issues in dating and relationships that the incels do.

It's like when people say that "money doesn't buy happiness." The only people that say that are people who've never had to suffer from not having enough money, or the suffering has been so long ago that they forgot.

Extrapolated to dating and relationships. Your message of just "you're stupid and immature for being insecure about status," gives off the same vibe of tone deafness to the ears of an incel. And sure we can just say, fuck em, who cares what incels think.

But I don't think that is productive to actually preventing people become incels in the first place.

I'm not saying that we should validate everything incels have to say about status. What I am saying is that just like how we would validate that not having money makes your life incredibly hard.

Not having social status (looks, charisma, friends, etc) among your peer group, makes dating incredibly hard. I don't think we should bend over backwards just to make incels feel good about themselves. But I do think we can change our messaging from:

"You're stupid and immature."

to

"Your insecurities are worth considering, but they aren't as impactful as you're afraid of. Here are healthy ways you can alleviate your fears."

Abject-Interview4784 · 2023-09-23T16:12:30+00:00

Yes my son is 9 and he is obsessed with 6packs. I'm like no.stop this is stupid don't do this to yourself.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-09-23T17:09:15+00:00

Most people are "average" we live average lives, go to our average jobs, and exist in our average spaces. We aren't celebrities or high profile people we are average every day people. And average people will date average people. Everyone's tastes are subjective and an average person will likely be able to satisfy that taste. And likely will be someone's this is it kind of person. It's not this tragic unbalanced unparalleled rough and tumble every man for himself battlefield dating subs make it sound like it is. We are all average and will date someone average. Haha it's not this massive doom and gloom woe is me concept.

The concept of this high value thing is such a cope. It's this elusive man who gets pick of the litter and can turn women down who are all throwing themselves at him. It doesn't exist because people value different things. What my concept of a "high value" partner may differ from the next. Because everyone's taste and concept of what a good partner is varies. It's not this elusive cabal of men who look at a woman and shoo her away because she is one lb over the acceptable weight so she is mid. It's just not how it works.

EtherealManchurian · 2023-09-21T13:56:06+00:00

Red pilled men don't view people in general as individuals with different life experiences, backgrounds, and motivations. Everyone is just a number to them eg. your sexual partner count (or lack of), your bank account, your height, and your age.

I have friends who only make 40k a year but they are kind, funny, and take care of their family, wives , and children. I look up to them way more than a tall millionaire with a 300 body count. Good for you bro, you worked and made a lot of money and slept with a lot of women, I'm happy for you lol

The red pill mindset is a ton of projection mixed with half truths.

Tea_Addicted_Artist · 2023-09-22T06:58:14+00:00

Inth9nk that you look very cute with bangs. They add a softness to your face. Without them your over all vibe is more adult and stern or sexy.

Title	What is all this average men and average women? This is just immature.
Author	LongNeo
Upvotes	63
Comments	72
Date	September 21, 2023 1:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/16ofqg7/what_is_all_this_average_men_and_average_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-is-all-this-average-men-and-average-women.1232544 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232544

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