I’m a mid-40’s divorced mother. If I did nothing with my appearance, I would have over 60% gray hair, blotched and hyperpigmented skin from too much sun, yellow teeth from coffee and wine, and wrinkles.

I color my hair, use Botox and fillers, get manicures and pedicures, facial and chemical peels, and whiten my teeth. In addition to this upkeep, for a date I will wear extra makeup and feminine, sexy clothing.

The other evening I went on a date (after date 3 but before date 7) with a high value man in his late 40’s. He is over 6’ tall, earns six figures, has a doctorate, and is also attractive. He has women hit on him regularly.

To prepare for the date, besides my usual bathing and shaving, I applied extra eye makeup than normal, including lots of eye shadow. Looking in the mirror I thought I looked a little ridiculous. To myself I was thinking “no women my age wear eye shadow like this—I am making too much effort!” But I left it on.

We went out to dinner. Our server was a very attractive woman 15-20 years younger than me. She was wearing makeup, including lots of eye shadow.

My date only had eyes for me.

Remember, older ladies: you aren’t just competing with single women your age; you are also competing with single women significantly younger than you!