This is an example as to why you need to have your own money.

AITA for telling my fiancé that he can either let me work or he can pay child support?

I’m currently a stay-at-home mom to two toddlers, 3F and 2F. I’ve been staying at home with them for almost three years.

Recently, I’ve been looking extensively into going back to work. The kids are at an age where I think they’d benefit greatly from some time in daycare to develop their social skills.

The problem lies with my fiancé. He doesn’t want me to ever work. He wants me to permanently stay home with them, even when they get into school full time. He wants me to basically be their driver to and from sports and other extracurriculars. Apparently, they “couldn’t be in as many sports”, if I worked full time.

I want to work full time. Child care costs are NOT an issue due to the fact that my in-laws offered to pay for most, if not all, child care costs until they both get into school. We’re barely making it by with paying our bills on just his income, and I have ZERO money for myself and the kids. I can barely afford to buy diapers and feminine hygiene products for us.

I never really intended to be a stay-at-home mom long term like this. Selfishly, I want my own life away from the kids and my fiancé sometimes. I feel guilty for taking ANY time away, so I usually don’t. I rarely take more than an hour to myself once a week.

I’ve been without a car for over a month because my fiancé is having his truck “fixed” in the “shop”. What truck takes over a month to be fixed? He has to drive the car to and from work everyday, which leaves me without a vehicle. I suspect that he’s withholding the car from me.

Every time I bring it up, he gaslights me and acts like I’m imagining things. He claims that he wants me to work, “but it would be too hard for him to watch the kids”. He would be “too lonely”, since I would most likely work weekends as well.

I feel like I’m wasting away. I feel worthless. He constantly demeans me and acts like I’m too lazy/dumb to work, when HE’S the one that’s making it so difficult!

And since we’re not married, I would be SCREWED if we were to split up. Last night, I told him that it would be in his best interest to let me work, as child support isn’t cheap. I know I probably shouldn’t have said that, but this is getting ridiculous.

AITA here?

Edit: THANK YOU for the Gold!