Another ‘Protect Your Finances’ Post

timetofliptables · 2020-02-13T15:00:07+00:00

[deleted]

Maisiebr · 2020-02-13T15:19:37+00:00

I swear it's always the "I didn't tell you because I knew how you'd react". To everything from financial issues to cheating.

2020-02-13T15:13:27+00:00

Dump him. I was engaged when I was 22. Broke it off because he couldn't budget. I paid for his school fees amongst other things. He had the audacity to ask me to take out a loan to the tune of $10000 for a visa. I was shocked and appalled. My parents wanted to pay it as an engagement present but I wouldn't let them and I broke it all off.

Make no mistake, if I hadn't have left him I would right now be a 28 year old waitress and divorcee with ZERO other job prospects. My life would not have improved. I would have worked to support him and never gone back to study or otherwise.

His disrespect of my money was disrespect of me, my time and labour.

Fuck that noise, kick him out.

I'll be replying with this on the original post too. But I wanted to share in this group for any pickmeisha who might not get it. Hell, I didn't get it for a long time either.

venomous_g · 2020-02-13T15:24:12+00:00

Fuck his problems, he lied. If he had a real emergency, was actually going to replace that money and thought of her as a partner and not just a supplemental source of income, he would have discussed taking the money with her beforehand so that they could both make a decision.

His broke family will continue to have emergencies until she’s paying for all of them. Hell no.

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-02-13T15:27:03+00:00

One of the nails in the figurative coffin of my last LTR before my marriage was finances.

This fuckwad was an accountant too, who couldn’t budget to save his life. He accused me of treating marriage “like a business” and kept insisting that if we loved eachother enough it’d be okay.

I think he was looking for financial support: his girlfriend’s family now completely bankrolls him. They bought him a house.

I am forever thankful I dumped that mess.

Lady_Schmoobleydong · 2020-02-13T16:17:47+00:00

“Took money out of our shared account.” More like “I gave him my money to put into an account I was never able to access or monitor.” Never ever share finances with someone you are not married to and even then, tread lightly. I have never once given or loaned my husband money when we dated. The only time I give him money is when I give him my share of the bill payments and when he does an errand for me and I pay him back.

psychsense · 2020-02-13T17:10:37+00:00

We need to start teaching our young girls what financial abuse looks like. This is a HUGE red flag and the fact that so many women don’t have a clue is frightening.

7_0f_9 · 2020-02-13T15:38:05+00:00

He'll never change. He wants her money. He was raised by someone irresponsible, so he is too, as she just saw. Dump him and find someone equally high value. Keep your money to yourself, ladies. It's your money, not his. He was sneaky, lied, gaslit her That is not a partner you can trust and that's abusive.

azngirl7689 · 2020-02-13T15:34:37+00:00

Sharing money....with a boyfriend??? Sis had to learn the hard way not to do that......

DallasOMalley · 2020-02-13T15:35:26+00:00

Wow, this would be a deal breaker for me. It's sad how she's trying to avoid starting an argument when one would be totally justified. Hopefully she comes to her senses and stops screwing herself over by throwing money at this guy.

2020-02-13T18:25:33+00:00

She says “how can I make him understand that is family is ruining our relationship?” When HE is the one ruining the relationship - not the mother, despite her problematic spending. He lied and hid things from you. That’s the problem. That’s what needs to be solved. This isn’t about money it’s about trust.

It is surprising to me that coming from money she didn’t think it was a bad idea to use his savings for their joint funds. I would never do that! Part of the celebration of a long term relationship is getting to open that joint account where you both deposit and both have access to the balance and withdrawals.

That being said, I’ve been burned before so I don’t know if I’ll ever want to open a joint account again.

ms_monquis · 2020-02-13T20:01:52+00:00

Ouch. "The man I shack up with, with no legal protection, secretly/dishonestly took money we were agreeing to save together — how do I bring it up without making him mad?"

Ms_Tilly · 2020-02-13T17:26:46+00:00

The trust is gone. Time to DUMP HIM

mouthyhousewife · 2020-02-13T16:42:19+00:00

You know how the red pill guys are always talking about protecting their money and assets, getting prenups and shit? Women need to start hopping on that boat sooner. Men and women aren’t that much different when it comes to being greedy. If they are the type of person to do this kind of shit, they will, whether they’re a man or a woman. Protecting yourself doesn’t have to mean complete lack of trust. It’s just a security measure.

2020-02-13T18:25:38+00:00

She says “how can I make him understand that is family is ruining our relationship?” When HE is the one ruining the relationship - not the mother, despite her problematic spending. He lied and hid things from you. That’s the problem. That’s what needs to be solved. This isn’t about money it’s about trust.

It is surprising to me that coming from money she didn’t think it was a bad idea to use his savings for their joint funds. I would never do that! Part of the celebration of a long term relationship is getting to open that joint account where you both deposit and both have access to the balance and withdrawals.

That being said, I’ve been burned before so I don’t know if I’ll ever want to open a joint account again.

randomyellowumbrella · 2020-02-13T22:31:19+00:00

Now I know why my mom always tells me to have all bank accounts separated, even saving ones

2020-02-13T18:45:21+00:00

[removed]

Title	Another ‘Protect Your Finances’ Post
Author	LadyGislenFairchild
Upvotes	83
Comments	29
Date	February 13, 2020 2:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f3b6ms/another_protect_your_finances_post/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/another-protect-your-finances-post.693841 https://theredarchive.com/post/693841

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