Can one woman's LVM be another woman's HVM?

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-04-14T06:46:07+00:00

No, but someone can be a HVM and not be compatible with you. One of my close friends is happily engaged to a man who I definitely consider a HVM, I knew him before they started dating and during the whole duration of their relationship, and I couldn’t be more exited for her marrying him. I would not be able to get through a month dating him. We’re just not compatible, we have different values, different religions, different philosophies about how to practice religion, different ways to unwind, different ideas of what makes a night out fun; we just couldn’t both be happy in a relationship. Definitely a HVM, but no part of me wants to be in my friend’s shoes, he’s perfect for her, not me.

Can a LVM be a HVM for someone else? Nah, low effort pornsick nonsense is always gonna be low value, and even if your standards are on the ground, it’s still crap.

fairywakes · 2020-04-14T06:23:05+00:00

This is a good one. So I sat here and thought about it for a bit.

In modern society, I would say absolutely because women have different expectations depending on who you talk to. They are changed completely by culture.

I would say using the guidelines in this sub it is near-impossible. There are explicit HVM criteria, anything less likely LVM and unworthy to entertain. There might be some minutiae like exact income, expectations between partners, amount of sex, etc but when it comes to LVM bullshit I think we can all say:

No way, sis.

GlitterBrainn · 2020-04-14T10:01:55+00:00

No, because being a HVW/HVM isn’t about compatibility. You can be incompatible with a HVM in term of relationship but if a man treated his ex like shit he’ll do the same with* you. It may be hard to hear but you’re not different or special. Men don’t become thoughtful and HV overnight

2020-04-14T11:11:21+00:00

I actually think it is possible, but only after a long period of time and a lot of self work by that person. I think people can grow and change, but it certainly doesn't happen over night and I don't think anyone should ever stick around and wait for that change to happen.

LadyGrimes · 2020-04-14T14:10:51+00:00

Not a chance. A LVM usually makes no effort to change their ways. Maybe in a pickmeisha's mind though.

szsunshine · 2020-04-14T12:04:15+00:00

I can think of some criteria, like a man who lacks a university degree, would make him LV in the eyes of a woman who was highly educated, but to a woman who doesn’t have a university degree that doesn’t mean he is LV.

Same guy, treats women the same - but two different women can perceive his value differently.

dixiecup3 · 2020-04-14T15:45:49+00:00

I think it’s rare, but possible.

For example: I have a friend who is a VERY clingy girlfriend. Wants to be with him or be constantly texting him 24/7, calls him at work multiple times a day, always has to know where he is (to a slightly creepy extent IMO)...so, obviously, her version of a HVM is someone who is also very clingy, because she wants someone who will tolerate and reciprocate her behavior, because that’s the kind of relationship she wants.

I, however, am the opposite. I’ve always been pretty independent so my version of a HVM is one who will give me space when I need it. I want to be able to go to work and not be distracted by constant texts and calls. I want to be able to hang out with my friends every so often and not be given a guilt trip about it. I want to be able to put my phone down to meditate or be present in the current moment and not have to worry about him getting mad that I took more than 5 minutes to respond to his text. And, obviously, I’m willing to give him the same flexibility in return.

To me, I feel like that’s an example of two different versions of a HVM. I think it somewhat depends on what kind of dynamic you want in your relationship. But, in general, I think most of the traits of a HVM are universal- empathy, responsibility, emotional intelligence, etc.

bitchesandincelshit · 2020-04-14T12:27:53+00:00

I think to a degree but not completely: If a guy is still living w his ma and just generally lacks respect and ambition, he is LVM no matter what. BUT a part of being HVM is how he treats you and how much effort he puts in, which a lot of times is just about his interests level. A HVM can treat a girl that he is not so into as a booty call and be labled as LVM in her book based on his effort, but then he would put the real effort for the girl he actually wants a relationship with. (Like think of Jim Halpert, how he treated Kathy in the beginning of series was NOT the same as how he treated Pam)

ames0630 · 2020-04-14T13:28:09+00:00

I think so. If a man is uninterested yet still pursued by a pickme, he will not apply effort. Yet that same dude may behave differently given the opposite circumstances. A rare occurrence, but still within the realm of possibility.

meanemad · 2020-04-14T18:37:57+00:00

If he is HVM he would not be with a woman that is not the best for him, cause he knows he is losing his time. So if he was LV with you is not cause you were not "The one", it is cause he is a LVM, he will be LV with the next ones too, even if it looks HV from out of the relationship, i would feel sorry for the next woman.

quaintlyspoken · 2020-04-15T13:31:39+00:00

No!

Like never.

LVMs are just trash.

If you mix trash with the groceries you just bought that makes it trash!

sophrosyne2189 · 2020-04-14T15:04:08+00:00

I think, yes, just based on the fact that people can and do change. But as one commenter said already, that is not something you should wait around for.

butmyegopreventsme · 2020-04-14T07:23:36+00:00

I read the handbook and it warned against “standard shaming” which suggests that the answer would be yes. If we all have different standards it seems as though some would necessarily be higher than other’s

Title	Can one woman's LVM be another woman's HVM?
Author	bananachka
Upvotes	24
Comments	19
Date	April 14, 2020 2:47 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g0xdwr/can_one_womans_lvm_be_another_womans_hvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/can-one-womans-lvm-be-another-womans-hvm.692707 https://theredarchive.com/post/692707

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