I realize how irrational this is, but for some reason, whenever a man is around - especially one that I know well - I feel like they might snap and try to kill me out of nowhere.

Not sure where this comes from. I have been in a short abusive relationship, but I've felt this way since I was a small child.

I didn't grow up with my father or have any other male family members at all, so I'm generally uncomfortable around men, but this is on another level.

It's possible that my father was abusive to my mother, or even to me, but she left him when I was two months old, so not sure if that would be relevant anyhow even if true. (I can't ask her because she died almost 30 years ago.)