Believe men when they show you they are immature

Believe men when they show you they are disrespectful

Believe men when they show you they are unmotivated/lacking in depth

Believe men when they show you are they are unstable

Believe men when they show you they are broke/lazy

Believe men when they show you they are insecure/ negging

Believe men when they show you they are cheaters/untrustworthy

Believe men when they show you they are insincere /let you down

Believe men when they show you they are too needy/controlling

Believe men when they show you they are inconsistent

Believe men when they show you they are aggressive/lacking control

You aren't unstable or paranoid or overthinking it or letting your past experiences blur your thinking, or being too harsh or judgemental.....many many men are low value and manipulative and some part of you deep down knows this when you run into them. Your instincts are right but society grooms you to mute them for mens benefit. They will get at you easiest when you are lonely, fed up with the dating market or going through some shit- always be 50x more wary in these instances, they can make you a softer target.

When this guy shows you who he really is: Listen, See, and Believe him. Use your instincts & believe them. Good people find a way, bad people find a mask.

Empaths and caretakers/ co-dependant personalities often believe in the fantasy of who the guy could or should be. But that's just what it is, a fantasy you are bending to fit the facts.

They find potential where others spot red flags/ deal breakers and discard of them quickly. They launch into captain-save-a-broken-moid and exhaust themselves trying to change a whole grown ass lazy immature man that doesn't want to change. Society has told you to be this way as a woman but sometimes you are replicating childhood issues- trying to fix people that refuse to be fixed- perhaps you have learned to have a higher threshold for toxic behaviours which you need to address or to attend to the needs of people that don't value you. Don't be fooled, there are attractive tall grown ass 35yr old men who are explicitly out here seeking high value attractive educated stable women to exploit, they rely on their looks & know it can draw women in, they are seeking you out deliberately so that you can replace their exhausted mothers and make up for the ways they decided to neglect themselves and despite their sob stories they truly find it amusing how much of a car crash they are deep down- they have no appetite to mature or self reflect otherwise they would have some by now. They find it even more amusing knowing you fell for their games, all they had to do was put on a sulk face& say some things you'd like to hear (this is the reality of how a lot of men will describe you behind closed doors). They know by flinging their verbal flattery and sob stories they can get a woman to tolerate their repulsive behaviours and do life for them. Men don't do emotions like us, they are often using them to extract/their gain, whether good or bad. It is fine to be a caring person, but have boundaries & your wits around you. What is healthy about being a nice person that lets everyone exploit them (see pick me posts)? Whats the point having valuable goods inside if you're going to let the front door wide open for anyone with a few flattering lines? Don't let male strangers straight into your heart the same way you wouldn't let a male stranger into your home. Don't give this empathy away freely & trust everyone selling you a sob story is sincere- pull back & let them reveal themselves.

If you ignore these signs this is the point where you fall down the rabbit hole of exploitation & begin to delude yourself....and you'll come out 7months to 12years later when you realise you should of ran for the hills at the first signs. If only you had listened to those INSTINCTS! Be ruthless in your assessments of men and don't try to delude yourself, don't make excuses for them. Move on. Delete /block - NEXT!!

I knew a guy who lovebombed me real quick, was really quite attractive and my looks type/super cute to me and barely 3 weeks in he mentioned some iffy sob story about his workplace temporarily closing 'for refurbishment' & how he was a bit stressed sob sob *mEn cAnT sPeAk uP MaScULinItY (maturity) sO hArD*, it immediately RAISED my bullshit detector (emotional baiting too fast) and stupid old me had already mentioned I had an apartment to myself (don't ever do this- say you have 7 flatmates lol say you 'moved' once you trust them). Luckily I could read between the lines and see this guy was immature due to things he'd said so I was still cautious but deep down I could TELL he was trying to flatter me and weasel himself into my apartment...well stupid me ignored the signs still (lets wait and see, I won't let him in anyways!! Maybe I'm paranoid I'm cynical af!) and sure enough this guy turned out to be a manipulative fucking car crash and whilst flinging 'poor me' hints about his supposed 'difficult childhood'. He would project his lost soul/ incompetence on me saying 'see you're needy and lonely there, you need a man like me to move in' (I fucking didn't I love my own space lol)....'see wouldn't it be better if I moved in', he would keep joking about this to test the waters. He had taken note of what I had to offer, ching ching, and clearly had experience with seeking HVW out to groom/flatter. This was a shit test, to test how quickly I was going to let him run all over me.

He was a needy manipulative financial immature mess looking to exploit the fuck out of me & by god if I could tell you the stuff I found out it was GRADE A RED FLAGS all round: dim immature alcoholic with unstable job history that couch surfed at his enabling friends (who's wives hated him) that chucked him money whenever he blew it on excessive drugs/drink binge- his mum had disowned him due to his behaviour & he honestly found it funny how much a joke he was. I never let him move in, managed to keep a layer of protection around myself and soon cut him off after some of his behaviour in public got completely inexcusable but why the hell did I not run a mile at that first instinct on the phone? Why was I curious to learn more of his red flags? I think some part of me was lured in by how bizarre and mind boggling his immaturity was, even at an outsider level I felt I needed to 'knock in some sense', like fuck I don't want you but get a grip for yourself. He had almost baited me into being his new replacement mommy disciplining him- by a narrow escape. Why did I feel obliged to do that to this grown man I barely even knew??? Had I been ruthless & cold as I was in my right to be, I would of deleted at the first sign & avoided any potential pitfall. This guy was a text book car crash- he honestly should be made into a red flag warning meme. But this is what happens, you overlook a redflag at that start due to not knowing them properly & the encyclopedia of red flags a-z hits you on the head and floods through the door- HELLO is there room at the inn for me and my 53284783 issues? Slam the door & lock it shut.

When it comes to men: don't bend the facts to fit the fantasy. Don't romanticise, don't justify, don't pander, don't excuse & do not self doubt your judgements. See it for what it is.