Even non-swipe based apps are useless

ManchurianCantaloupe · 2020-07-12T18:26:53+00:00

Not only that, but Hinge bills its self intentionally as an app for finding relationships - and men will still shamelessly try to use it for hookups.

I went on a date with a guy from Hinge pre-COVID. I asked him why he was on the app and he said the women were "classier" than the ones on Tinder/Bumble/etc. Gag. He then attempted to get me to come back to his house on the first date and ghosted me after I said no.

They literally get on Hinge, an app marketed for finding SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS, because they want to pump and dump and abuse women they think are "classy." I deleted the app after that one. You can do everything "right" in their eyes, and misogynistic asswipes will still never respect you. Male depravity knows no bounds. Always remember that.

sadlibrarian · 2020-07-12T18:57:45+00:00

It’s because online dating is inherently encouraging of lazy behaviour. If you force yourself to only date men you meet irl you’ll be exposed to men that are comfortable stepping to a woman that they’re attracted before she leaves instead of liking and lurking on other people’s profiles until they know for sure there aren’t better options for weeks to hit you with a lazy message.

But nobody is ready to have that conversation yet.

elementalvirago · 2020-07-12T15:59:17+00:00

Even on Facebook men I don't know will "like" a picture or pictures (sometimes many in a row). Are they expecting me to be flattered and then "friend" them and start a conversation? It's so lame to me. Is this what they're used to women doing now? Just liking some random chick's pics and sitting back waiting for her to do something?

Ms_Tilly · 2020-07-12T20:08:05+00:00

I had the same poor experience with Hinge. I had a message within minutes and his second message was "so, what are you looking for?" The trick is to ask them the same question without answering. I did that and he admitted he was looking for hook ups. Unmatched and blocked.

After him it was just shit profile after shit profile. Hinge makes it so easy, yet these men are garbage at even choosing a simple question and giving a simple answer. I couldn't believe how much worse it was than OKCupid and OKC is awful too. I lasted maybe a week before I deleted. I haven't gone back to OLD since last fall when I went on a few dates with a really conservative, porn sick, unfit and old ass looking 45 yr old. I'm done.

her-vagesty · 2020-07-12T20:44:19+00:00

My experiences on hinge: First guy, invited me on a date, he was a boxer so was going to show me the ropes. And did. But also asked me to help take out some of his dreads, he thought it would be a good bonding exercise 🤦🏻‍♀️ Second guy, really clicked with him over texts and phonecalls. We arranged to meet in Camden for a date, I got on the bus, about halfway there and we were still texting, he says "about to go on the tube see you soon 😘" and blocks me on whatsapp, hinge, and Instagram. Third guy, had been talking a while, seemed nice enough, normal but definitely low effort, we arranged a date for a Saturday, he stops talking to me on the Thursday.

To be honest the second guy really fucked me up, we had had some great conversations and I thought it had good potential, and waiting until I was halfway to our meeting point was really cruel.

But yea, I feel like London guys aren't very HVM. I find a lot of them feel they are "too busy" to date, so go on these apps just to find a fuckbuddy. I'm off dating apps now, and I feel really unfulfilled, like I really badly want some male attention, and I'm trying so so hard to not need it, but I really want the D 😂

chateauduchat · 2020-07-13T00:39:13+00:00

I’m starting to think that the apps themselves aren’t useless, but rather the men themselves are ☠️

daisy_0720 · 2020-07-12T15:46:41+00:00

Are you me? I had Hinge for two days before I deleted it. I disliked the fact that you can't really write a proper bio and the men that had the audacity to 'like' me (or rather, my photos)... good LAWD. I was so offended and disgusted I literally deleted the app.

I know FDS doesn't advocate it, but I've personally had the most success with Bumble. The guys I matched with could carry on a decent conversation and I mostly went on pleasant dates. And there ARE ways of gauging interest:

- If you have matched with someone and not messaged them in 24 hours, the guy can use a 'daily extend' to keep the match for another 24 hours in the hopes that you'll reach out. They can only do this once a day, so typically if they daily extend on you, they're keen to start talking. I know some women who refuse to start a conversation with a match until they've daily extended, so she knows he's interested.

- Also, if the guy's profile isn't verified, you can send them a request to verify their profile, then the guy can actually start the conversation!

arwenagon24999 · 2020-07-12T15:30:11+00:00

Hmm I don’t think it’s such a good idea to put “looking for a relationship” in your bio. I get wanting to be upfront with what you want, but it might give off a more desperate vibe contrary to what you intended. For example, I actually tend to swipe left if a man has that in their bio- it makes me feel like they’re trying to fill a void and not actually trying to get to know someone, etc. Just my two cents. Overall OLD is just trash anyway.

gracefullrose · 2020-07-12T16:03:20+00:00

Of course it depends on the site and the person, but I don't think that putting "looking for a relationship" is the wrong thing to do because it sets a more serious tone for the connection. Anything less comes off as looking for hookups and just gets attention from fuckbois.

So far I'm happy with OkCupid and people there can send messages without having to match first. But I'm also VERY quick to use the block and report button so I'm not bothered with many idiots and don't waste any time getting them removed.

Creature__Teacher · 2020-07-13T01:58:51+00:00

Dating apps in general are so weird! The more I think about them, the more I hate everything about them.

I'm in a relationship, my current partner is a HVM and we're living together, I just downloaded Tindr last week to see how much its changed since the 6ish years I've been on it.

I didn't even swipe right on anyone (swipe right is the "like" one right? idr) and after 5 minutes I realized I hate everything about this, every single profile I hated, its so MECHANICAL and shallow and BAD.

No thanks. OLD is a waste of time for everyone involved.

midge_rat · 2020-07-13T14:54:15+00:00

I had great luck with Hinge, but I’m in the Upper Midwest of the US so maybe that has something to do with it?

Title	Even non-swipe based apps are useless
Author	sadlibrarian
Upvotes	75
Comments	35
Date	July 12, 2020 12:47 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hptuud/even_nonswipe_based_apps_are_useless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/even-non-swipe-based-apps-are-useless.712808 https://theredarchive.com/post/712808

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