I just found this sub a few hours ago and I am now feeling embarrassed and ashamed of the things I put myself thru and how I allowed myself to be treated. I can't even begin to tell about the bullshit I've tolerated from men who have nothing going for them and have NOTHING to offer. But y'all have given me a sense of empowerment and the confidence to accept that I deserve better than what I've been settling for. I've had men tell me I should be grateful to be with them. I had a guy break up with me because I didn't want to have a threesome with the girl he was cheating on me with. I've kept sleeping with men who told me to my face that I'm nothing but a stupid whore. I've been in every kind of toxic relationship there is and I came out of every one thinking that there was more I could have done, or that I had done something wrong, convinced there was something wrong with ME. There was something wrong with me, I was valuing not just men but people who didn't value me. God, when I think of how much precious time I have wasted, how much of myself I have not only given but sacrificed, I honestly feel sick. I feel like this is a moment of enlightenment, a life changing event. I can clearly see where I went wrong and the beliefs I hold that lead me there. I'm done trying and chasing and feeling like I have to prove my worth to any man, the kind of man I want will prove himself to me because he knows that I'm more than worth it.
I'm literally crying right now and I can't even describe this feeling. I don't know what it was but after reading the handbook and the posts on here, it just clicked and it's such a relief, such a huge relief and I'm so grateful to have found all of you.
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