Finally figured it out

cloudberry_liquor · 2020-12-09T13:40:30+00:00

Maybe not literally hate men but holy hell, when you act hot and cold (even unintentionally) they just swarm like flies. And when you act nice they don't give a damn. I don't get it.

heleninthealps · 2020-12-09T13:38:12+00:00

Most likely it won't hook any HVM with that energy. But at least it keeps away most lazy creeps.

dollymyfolly · 2020-12-09T15:32:38+00:00

I had a guy want to downgrade me (he was playing hot and cold) and instead of fighting, I just agreed it was a good idea. I said it would free me up to meet a guy who was a bit more masculine and less of a boy.

He was so shocked by my response he wouldn’t leave me alone for weeks until I just blocked him.

daisyinflux · 2020-12-09T14:41:20+00:00

More so, when you value yourself over all else, you have strong boundaries, seek out what you want and need, and you’re busy af living your best life. These energies and behaviors are attractive to everyone. And a high value human doesn’t want to overfunction in a relationship with someone who has unclear boundaries, never prioritizes themselves, and seems to be hinging on getting a text back.

But agree about your premise for LVMs!

Edit: I also want to add that that’s the goal - to be your highest value self. The goal isn’t to crack the code on how to make guys choose us. I don’t think you meant it that way, but I want to point it out for newbies. 💛

SuitablePerformance3 · 2020-12-09T19:10:56+00:00

It's because they love taking women who don't want them. If a guy you've been like that with constantly purses you it's because he enjoys pushing boundaries, the fact that you're saying no is what gets him going. And that type of trash assaulter needs to stay far away from me.

dzgata · 2020-12-09T18:51:52+00:00

I think it’s self love and strong boundaries. Men will fall extremely hard for a woman who doesn’t take shit from them. Ask me how I know

gingerwabisabi · 2020-12-09T17:23:08+00:00

Heh, yeah, "boys only want love if it's torture." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLhBsql3Zz4 Maybe that's why they treat us that way...

Proud-Purpose · 2020-12-10T01:54:00+00:00

In simple terms, yes. Or any behavior that indicates lack of interest or commitment.

Male assessments of female mate quality are not very objective, and generally not very fine tuned because a) males don't get to choose anyway and b) most females have baseline genetic quality, whereas males do not. Therefore, the difference between "satisfactory" and "exceptional" is imperceptible - males don't really need to be able to perceive it because most would be lucky to get any action at all, as long as it's not with someone quite literally deformed or fatally flawed.

Because females are less expendable, most of them really don't need to do anything to get a mate. When you display behaviors that can be interpreted as concessions, such as being servile, nice or "desperate", the male subconsciously thinks that it's because you have a flaw so fatal you actually have to compensate. Thus you get placed in the "absolute garbage" category, because there's absolutely no reason for a female to behave this way outside of being "below satisfactory". Imagine seeing a mansion that's priced like a trailer and comes with a free horse racing track. Most people will assume it's on a giant sinkhole or a toxic dump site, even if it isn't.

That does not necessarily mean that the male will pass on a mating opportunity with you, because any mating is better than no mating. It does mean that he will pass on courting you and supplying you with resources, however.

late4church_ · 2020-12-09T21:24:36+00:00

This has never worked for me. I just remain so anyhow now tho hahaha. They like me better when I’m sweet and kind (aka when I fucking knew no better).

2020-12-09T23:22:45+00:00

When you act like you couldn't give less of a fuck, they love it. I'm like, fine, go on tinder and find some other girls to talk to! I know they won't be like me (would never insult other women but I know my worth).

Queen-of-My-Realm · 2020-12-09T23:43:10+00:00

Yup. This is just my personality and I have always had men falling head-over-heels in love with me, serial long-term monogamist. I'm finally single by choice and the orbiters are abundant. My gal pals have not had this experience and used to ask me "How do you do it?" Sis, witchcraft.

voodo2020 · 2020-12-09T13:38:35+00:00

balladwilds · 2020-12-09T17:42:42+00:00

that won't work if you wanna attract a HVM

Title	Finally figured it out
Author	pancakeCEO
Upvotes	130
Comments	34
Date	December 9, 2020 1:31 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k9rv0r/finally_figured_it_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/finally-figured-it-out.612601 https://theredarchive.com/post/612601

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