Help a gal level up! Advice sorely needed!

Andalusian_Dawn · 2020-01-26T20:37:23+00:00

Surgically precise eyebrows are the most important thing I can do. I look like a wildebeest when my eyebrows are shaggy even if I'm dressed to the nines. I inherited my dad's huge Bert (from Sesame Street) eyebrows.

When they're done correctly, I look like I'm wearing makeup even if I just rolled out if bed. Get an Indian girl who knows what's she's doing, and go a little thinner than what is popular now. A nice classic gull wing is my favorite.

Also, make sure your hems are the right length for your height (alterations make all the difference), try to stay away from wearing all fast fashion, and don't be scared of irons.

Class is my watchword, so maybe get fashion ideas from magazines for the ultra rich, adapt and modify to your taste.

2020-01-26T22:20:11+00:00

Hair: Figure out how to do your hair. Everyone has different texture, so idk how yours would work. Mine gets very tangled and dry so I put leave in conditioner as soon at I towel dry it. I brush it out and let it air dry half way. Then I blow it out with a dryer and paddle brush made for drying. I never put my hair up except when cleaning and working out. My hair looks amazing now.

Clothing: Do not buy trendy clothes. Most people never feel like themselves in things that are in style atm.... Because they weren't in style last year and they won't be next year. Go for classic styles in patterns and colors that never age. Doing this also gives you a bunch of options for outfits. Trendy stuff is usually a one off kind of deal. Clean shoes that match your outfit.

Posture is everything. Stand tall. Think long neck.

Mosturize and wear sunscreen every day.

Edit to say: you don't need lots of money for clothes. I buy all my clothes at Goodwill and get compliments every day for my clothes.

z3hush · 2020-01-26T20:35:39+00:00

Number one way to look good in almost anything: lose any excess weight. I’m a bit fat, but I have a medical condition and I’m working on it. Down a large chunk already. :)

Second: wear simple prints in moderation, stick to solids mostly.

Third: wear dresses, sometimes pants, rarely jeans. Wear button down shirts or blouses instead of tees. Iron or steam items, don’t go out wrinkled.

Fourth: wear classic makeup, jewelry, and clothing styles. Embrace minimalism. Be freshly manicured.

Five: Posture is everything. Stand, walk, and sit like you are important. Head up, shoulders back, picture yourself as a marionette and a string is pulling you up from the crown of your head and downward.

Amelania · 2020-01-26T20:35:39+00:00

From a purely aesthetics standpoint, make sure your wardrobe is well-fitting and well cared for, and take the time to learn to properly care for your skin and apply makeup, if you wear it. There are a million+1 YouTube videos on the subject, so you can definitely find someone who's personality and style you like.

Most importantly, feel comfortable in how you look and feel good about yourself before you leave the house everyday. I wake up earlier to do these things, and while I would enjoy the sleep, my days are always better when I feel good and confident walking out the door in the morning.

TheLastUBender · 2020-01-26T23:17:54+00:00

Take this with a grain of salt, because I'm also not a naturally 'well put together' woman.

For myself, I established a couple of baselines:

- I am going to own a belt that goes with my work shoes and with my purse (which all are age-appropriate and don't look like they belong to the 14 year old nerd I am inside)

- I get my hair and eyebrows done every couple of weeks in a pretty good salon. (my hair gets frizzy and is a major disaster zone, if I don't pay for professional attention)

That's it. Beyond that, I own some jeans / slacks that fit me, and a few things with a collar that convey the message that I tried to dress up a bit. (Plus the occasional dress / skirt if I feel like it). But the hair / eyebrow / shoes + purse thing is the minimum standard that I won't let slip.

Maybe you can find a version of that that works for you. Good hair and eyebrows were the important puzzle piece for me, I can't do this by myself and everything else (lipstick, nicer clothes, heels) can build on that.

Seranade · 2020-01-26T23:40:59+00:00

I grew up with a mom who didn't possess the arcane knowledge of looking good so I had to figure it all out on my own.

- Skincare. The canvas has to be good, so to speak. All skincare regimens basically boil down to "make sure the skin is hydrated", regardless of how much the items cost or how many steps are in the process. At the bare minimum, I would recommend sunscreen daily.

- Physique. Accentuate your favourite features. I'm built like a fridge, not much in the chest/bum department and an abysmal waist:hip ratio. But, I've got long legs and slender arms so A-line skirts are my friend. And also -- making the lifestyle changes to improve your physique are important too.

- Fashion. Experiment with clothes. What works for other people won't necessarily work for you. Try different silhouettes, colours, styles, and see what you feel the best in. Ask your friends when you're in the dressing room. /r/femalefashionadvice or /r/thegirlsurvivalguide can also be helpful, but take everything with a grain of salt because they tend to sugarcoat.

- Hair removal. It's a personal choice. I tweeze my brows, trim my "stache", epilate my armpits and my legs remain hairy. You choose your level of involvement.

- Makeup. I spent months watching make up tutes before I even started. I'm still working on this, but I think I've perfected my daily look and can do it within 5 minutes.

- Hair. Everyone has to figure out their own hair. It wouldn't be a bad idea to make an appointment with a salon to work out a great style that works for your hair type. There's hair treatments that can help you manage your hair, or highlights to enhance your hair.

- Dental health. Brush teeth, floss, brush tongue. I know this is common sense, but I had halitosis for ages and it turned out it was because my tongue was gross. Now I know.

- Posture: as discussed.

All of these aren't innate skills that women have, they are all skills that you need to develop to improve. Instead of doing it all at once, I worked on one aspect at a time, and when I felt confident that I'm doing the best I can, I moved to the next one.

jewdy09 · 2020-01-26T21:04:04+00:00

It might be time for a wardrobe update. It sounds like your clothes don’t fit you well. You need to figure out what styles and fabrics work best for you body type and stick with those. Shapewear helps a lot of use feel great in out clothes.

Nordstrom offers personal stylists or if you aren’t near one, you can order a bunch of different pieces online and return anything easily via mail. There are clothing subscription services like Gwynniebee so you can actually wear items and purchase if you choose or just find out what fabrics and fits you love and find similar items at better prices.

I look great in a skater or empire waist dress with a cardigan. Gauzy fabrics look amazing on me, but so do heavy scuba fabrics. Shift dresses are too shapeless. Pink makes my skin look bad, blue brings out my eyes. I’m still surprised sometimes, but for the most part o know what kinds of things will look great and what to avoid.

bluelightsonblkgirls · 2020-01-26T22:27:46+00:00

You probably just need a good makeover (clothes and hair). Do you have any female friends whose style you like? Tag along with them and shop and see what she picks on. Watch YouTube videos about style, check out Pinterest, etc. It all comes down to whether you are willing and able to make these tweaks.

grimreapersdtr · 2020-01-27T00:12:34+00:00

Unfortunately most remedies involve cost money. I feel your pain.

significanth · 2020-01-26T23:06:38+00:00

Look into Kibbe body types! Seriously changed my life (well when it comes to looks and appearances). It just might be that your clothes, your hair etc. is styled for the wrong body type, and I'm not talking about pears and apples. For example I would always look sorta wrong in those classic, minimalistic clothes everyone always touts as fitting everyone and making everyone look sophisticated. Well yeah they're wrong. I need to (well I think everyone needs to) dress for my bone structure + flesh, and when I do, I look really good. I also no longer feel bad/ugly because of clothes, because now I recognise that there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that some clothes are wrong for me, and I don't even have to try them on in shops and lament about them making me feel inadequate. Two youtube channels I recommend are Aly Art and Merriam Style. Merriam has recently started to deviate from Kibbe's system and is making the system her own and changing names of the body types, but I honestly got nothing against that. A third channel I only infrequently browse is Elyssa.

Once you've narrowed down your Kibbe body type, I'd also recommend taking a look at this blog. It's a sewing blog, but she did a huge undertaking in searching through clothing patters and making a post for every body type where she posts pictures of garments that would propably be good for that body type and why. So even if you don't sew, it is massively helpful to see all the pictures and reasonings.

Oh and another massively helpful thing is knowing the colours that flatter your skin. I personally found the sci/art color analysis most accurate for me and my sister, but there are other systems too. They like to say that you need to be draped by a professional color analyst, but... I managed to found my best season (true summer, aka cold, medium lightness-darkness, medium brightness-softness) by just reading about it and looking at the seasonal palets a lot and then draping myself, my sister and her friend with different coloured clothes/fabrics from around the house with the help of my fantastic sister. You just need a little practice training your eye. It took a while but now we are definitely set, get lots of compliments and neither of us would ever go back. The last time we went shopping together was so easy because we could just eye the whole shop and see if we found any of our own colors and then check them against our clothes/fabrics we already knew were of the right parameters.

Wow this was long, hopefully someone found it helpful!

redbirdflies · 2020-01-26T20:38:34+00:00

Join r/vindicta.

Title	Help a gal level up! Advice sorely needed!
Author	pqrsthrowawayyyyy
Upvotes	23
Comments	23
Date	January 26, 2020 8:20 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/euc84r/help_a_gal_level_up_advice_sorely_needed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/help-a-gal-level-up-advice-sorely-needed.694386 https://theredarchive.com/post/694386

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