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He’s just like every other man I’ve met, except this one has a working machine of complicit enablers.

lzbth

January 27, 2022
107 upvotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
https://medium.com/@domenicamferaud/the-movie-star-and-me-5d711ee661e3
Archived from /r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information
Title He’s just like every other man I’ve met, except this one has a working machine of complicit enablers.
Author

lzbth

Upvotes 107
Comments 18
Date January 27, 2022 2:08 PM UTC
(4 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sdz7z0/hes_just_like_every_other_man_ive_met_except_this/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hes-just-like-every-other-man-ive-met-except-this.1097279
https://theredarchive.com/post/1097279
Top posts by lzbth

OLD: Who needs personality when you’ve been on a boat, caught a fish that one time or go to the gym?

242 upvotes
November 7, 2021
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The undue confidence of men is breathtaking

115 upvotes
January 18, 2021
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The title was “a true man always consults with his homies.” What in the ever-fratty hell is this?

89 upvotes
November 18, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Comments

[–]katiekat0214FDS Newbie 107 points108 points109 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Having lived in Los Angeles for 22 years, I very deliberately NEVER wanted to know anyone famous, just because of this. All the narcissism, selfishness, self-centeredness, insecurity, and all the enablers, groupies, fans, sycophants. Big no thanks. Actors and teachers, thankfully, did not move in the same circles at all. The closest I got was knowing a few subs who were extras, and that was okay.

[–]lzbthFDS Newbie[S] 54 points55 points56 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

I’d love to engage this community in conversation about this piece. 💜 SO MUCH to unpack.

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 63 points64 points65 points 4 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link

This was so powerful. I loved her inclusion of every "off" but not necessarily apparent red flag. Her end point of how her mentor knew this would happen and still decided to use her as fodder and then blame/ distance herself, with the defense that "she knew what she was doing and wanted it, this is what she deserves. So unprofessional," so chilling. I wonder too how much of the patriarchal female competitiveness led her to use thing young, apparently very attractive woman to further her career, destroy the narrator's, and then be cruel to her. Or if it were PickMe jealousy about the actor's interest.

It was such an ick feeling too when, so much later, she still doubted herself over someone she herself says she barely knew, and how she couldn't eat and kept being strung along by him only for him to again show vague disinterest. I felt so awful for her, and can relate to a lot of these. Her descriptions of how she felt in the moment and all the doubts and observations she had and anxiety in how to respond were so good and rang familiar to me.

This was her CAREER and she was fuckzoned without consent into losing it over some scrote's peen feelings. Absolutely awful. And appalling how the mother and sister reacted, like it was this young woman who was being harassed ON THE JOB and not their son/ brother chasing interns practically half his age who was the problem.

The final point about not being sure about fitting into the MeToo movement because it floats into gray area is interesting as well. Even if one argues it's gray area because "she was interested," it seems obvious that he was from the start crossing boundaries and using her. She made a really powerful statement about her consent to comfortably explore interest being taken away once this man with positional and social power made inappropriate comments to her at her JOB

I'm curious who the actor is

[–]lzbthFDS Newbie[S] 69 points70 points71 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

It’s 100% Jake Gyllenhaal.

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

How do you know??

I don't know much about actors, wasn't sure if I missed some key info. I figured she would not be able to name him

Edit to add:

Just googled. The age and 25 year old gf fit lol. That makes me incredibly sad. I can see how she fell into that trap with him.

But what tipped you off without going on a massive hunt?

[–]MaleddieFDS Newbie 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm curious who the actor is

She mentions he has a movie star sister who is equally famous. And honestly, if you just google it a bit it's very clear it's him. Plus Taylor Swift wrote that song about him which makes it very believable that this story happened!

[–]PicoPicoMioFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She also happened to have worked on the musical he starred in. There’s pictures of her at some event for it.

[–]West-CookFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I saw this in another sub, and one of the other redditors there looked up the author and found she was interning on the play gullenhall was in during the 2015-2016 season. Everything follows from there.

[–]MsWriteNow07FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is what I said!

[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

There’s a convo started here: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s9x5fe/the_movie_star_and_me_very_wellwritten_account_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I see. Thank you!

[–]keep_my_stuffFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Holy shit the lovebombing. You can't win with these things - - she entertained his interest and got used and discarded and blocked from professional opportunities. If she had cut him off (which nobody supported her in doing, but let's say he was a tad bit more disgusting so she managed) then she would have been a meanie and blocked from professional opportunities, just without the being used part.

[–]MaleddieFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The thing that gets me is that she didn't even really like him, she was lovebombed by him and flattered and then her friends, family, mentor and director pushed and pushed her until she gave in. All feels horribly manipulative.

[–]FDS-MAGICAFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

People elsewhere on reddit think the movie star in question is Jake Gyllenhaal. Sounds plausible to me.

[–]CheetahEnergyFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah 100%. The pic she used for the article is from Taylor Swift’s “All too well” music video about Jake. His older famous sister, his blue eyes, his moodiness. I didn’t google about the play and Clinton because everything else fits perfectly.

[–]West-CookFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Someone in another controversial sub I have a throwaway for (lol) did the detective work of finding the author (since she didn’t write this anonymously) and found out she had interned on the play gyllenhal was in back in the 2015-2016 season. From there everything lines up.

[–]ububTkucFDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Her female mentor essentially served the writer up like a party appetizer in order to keep in the good graces of famous scrote!

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