*I recently posted about an issue with a man who had a crush on me. In the comments, someone mentioned about making a separate post specifically for men who fantasize women in their lives, creating a narrative that said woman in x,y and z, then throwing a shit fit when we aren’t that. Or, worse, stalking.

Look, we can’t control what happens in someone’s head. It shouldn’t be a woman’s responsibility to police the sexual fantasies that men choose to have about them. But we aren’t completely helpless, either. There are ways that we can identify, manage or avoid these creeps.

For me, I pay attention to body language, facial expression, and the way they speak. The last man I had an issue with was really really bubbly to me. Which was an odd way to present in that situation. Another thing I have noticed is they assume that they have already established rapport way before it has been established. Basically, they have fantasized about you enough that they believe you are the person in those fantasies. They give this away by making gestures that aren’t socially acceptable for the state of the relationship. For example, the last man I had an issue with invited me to his birthday when we weren’t much more than strangers.

Also, when is a crush harmless and when does it dip into dangerous territory. Being stalked is no joke. But how can we better tell when a man is going in that direction?

It’s a difficult subject to put into words. I look forward to your responses.