and I think we need to remove this completely from our vocab when trying to talk about shitty behaviour because it takes the narrative away from the harmful behaviour and back to coddling the feelings of butthurt men. The men who are HV will not be offended by me speaking of shitty male behaviour bc they KNOW it’s not about them.

But I do find it problematic that even when I speak with women I start using not all men because otherwise the women would just tell me it’s because I’ve interacted with a bad one. Like yes let’s just talk about my bad interaction why do we even need to bring up not all men. It’s a SAFETY tactic for women to be weary of ANY man because we cannot know who will harm us (emotionally or physically) until it’s too late. And then WE GET BLAMED for not being careful enough.

Anyways I want to drop this phrase completely from my vocab and if anyone brings it up I can just say “when did I say all men? Why did you assume all men?”

And you know what, the reason this phrase is even a thing is BECAUSE whatever problematic behaviour I’m trying to talk about applies to MOST MEN. And people know it.

Also here’s a tiktok talking about the 400 men who were groping a girl in Pakistan. https://www.tiktok.com/@itztaibasultana/video/6997966888261160197

In it she says “not all men are rapists, but some are rape apologists, some crack rape jokes, some are victim blamers, and the rest of them are silent.”