I'm so sad for my sweet friend.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-10-03T20:19:13+00:00

I am in medicine and very active in research as well.

If you could forward one piece of advice, let her know it's within her absolute best interest to be labelled "The Bitch"(TM) as soon as possible.

Be polite when it's needed, be as kind as you want to female bosses and colleagues, but when it comes to men you are there to work. Minimal smiling, and bite back if they try anything (that includes giving you shitty assignments, trying to give credit to men for your work, flirting, standing too close, whatever). You don't need to be unprofessional, but be blunt & direct.

I'm so sorry about what happened to your friend. This is not her fault.

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-03T20:43:31+00:00

I hope she reports him. Fucking rapist

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-10-03T22:16:54+00:00

LOL and men are always "Ever since "Me Too" we are scared to be working with women for fear of FaLSa ACcUSaTIoNS or our benevolence being MiSInTeRpReTEd"

Completely ignoring that men have been abusing women in the work place for their own sexual gain for decades. That it's an extremely common workplace hazard what women who work in retail - to woman who are medical students have to navigate in their daily life. All day - everyday.

Name him. Say his name. Who gives a fuck. Tired of tip toeing around these degenerates.

Not in a shamey way... just in a sentence...

Hey I need a surgeon in the Seattle area with a great reputation around the 50 year old age mark. Any recommendations?

W3remaid · 2021-10-03T19:42:45+00:00

Women in medicine should all be warned up front what kind of boys club they’re walking into. It’s awful. I know a lot of female docs and every single one has a similar story

Softrito · 2021-10-03T23:57:53+00:00

My mother gave up mechanics when she was in highschool because the teacher was being dirty to her. This being when she was a minor mind you. She loves working with cars but didn't pursue it because of motherfuckers like these.

EurasianEmpress · 2021-10-03T22:01:40+00:00

This is why I will never let a man mentor me (again). I do not look up to men, anymore, no matter how skilled and successful they are in their field.

__kamikaze__ · 2021-10-03T19:21:30+00:00

She needs to report this because if it happened to her chances are it has happened to others (and they might have been too scared to report it).

She also needs to be smart on how she reports it because unfortunately men like this are usually highly protected or can pull strings. It would help if she has an much concrete evidence as possible. I’m not sure about the rules and regulations of where she is, but for where I am there is a college of physicians it can be reported to.

Technusgirl · 2021-10-03T19:15:01+00:00

Did she report him, he should be fired! I think your friend overreacted to your instincts, but hopefully she sees now why you said that. Men can be such creeps and they will often use their authority to manipulate, and in this case, sexually assault women under them.

misscyansiren · 2021-10-03T19:40:49+00:00

What happened to your friend was awful. Your friend reacted to your warning the way she did because female social conditioning encourages women to be naive and prideful (not the self-serving kind).

If he lays a finger on you I'm going to cut his balls off of with a cheese grater.'

After this comment, she thought you were talking about her looks. That is a very egotistical reaction.

Be there for your friend if/when she wants to talk about it. Do not repeat my words to her verbatim. Ask her questions that make her think and question her worldview. Be an active listener.

Determinedblonde · 2021-10-03T18:57:43+00:00

Time to intervene with whoever manages the programme

lucidlotus · 2021-10-03T21:05:06+00:00

men complain that women are too cold, distrusting, or rude, when this clearly shows that the sweet ones get taken advantaged of! Men do not deserve the sweet women they want, and now I'm sure they criticize women for not being warm enough precisely because it makes it harder to prey on them.

Feministtiktok · 2021-10-04T13:34:46+00:00

Yeah I always keep an arms length from male workers. Never ever assume innocent intentions. The times I have I’ve been sexually assaulted every time. No more giving the benefit of the doubt to any male coworkers or male bosses. I’d rather work for women but companies keep putting ugly men in power so sadly it’s not avoidable

samara37 · 2021-10-04T02:34:24+00:00

Is it mean to say duh? Like so often I hear these stories and I’m like yeah duh! Like of course he’s a perve who wanted to work with a young chick

imstah · 2021-10-06T06:10:13+00:00

So do you have a cheese grater or do you need to borrow one? :)

bubblegumsparkles · 2021-10-04T03:34:21+00:00

Don’t feel bad, you appropriately warned her. Hopefully she’ll know the warning signs in the future, and recovers from that horrid experience. She should definitely report his ass.

Title	I'm so sad for my sweet friend.
Author	ThatsWhat__I__Said
Upvotes	909
Comments	38
Date	October 3, 2021 6:43 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q0nxb7/im_so_sad_for_my_sweet_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-so-sad-for-my-sweet-friend.1077899 https://theredarchive.com/post/1077899

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