I love houseplants. My family has grown our collection from a few cuttings to over 100 plants and propagations since early 2020 and it's been a huge stress reliever in these difficult times.

I joined some houseplant groups for inspiration and to have a community to turn to with questions about my new hobby. Despite being selective of my social media houseplant groups (I don't do racism, LGTBQA+ phobia, and the like) the rampant misogyny in these groups is WILD.

Not a day goes by that at least several of the following phrases were standard comments in these groups:

"I avoid buying more plants because the hubby keeps me on a tight leash/I spent all my allowance!"

" Do you think the hubby will notice if I sneak in another plant? "

" How long before he divorces me because he can't stand my plants?"

"I wish I could get (name any plant) but my boyfriend would KILL me if I got more."

" How can I arrange my plants so my boyfriend won't be so annoyed by my hobby? He HATES that I love plants so much!"

"How do you ladies deal with a husband who hates your hobby?"

I WAS SHOOKETH. I always reported/pointed out what a toxic culture this was and was repeatedly knocked down with "it's just a joke" or "don't be so uptight". I was banned from several groups before giving up entirely on the concept of healthy houseplant enthusiasm space online.

I showed some of the comments to my spouse who just shook his head and said "woooooow" repeatedly.

My spouse doesn't give me a plant allowance (or any allowance at all). We fit my needs into our budget. He constantly admires my plants and notices when I get a new one and shares my joy when something sprouts. He encourages me to buy what I need for my hobby and to spend as much alone time as I need to repot, rearrange, just poke my leaves. Yesterday he spent 45 min on a video call with me because he happened to stop by the hardware store and wanted to show me each pot and plant to see if I wanted any and brought home tons of new supplies to play with because he knows I've been bogged down with my own work and haven't gotten out much lately. He even brought home a few extras because he knows I have been lusting after some mini succulent pots for my propagations.

I know many hobbies are inherently rife with misogyny, but it's amazing to me how inherent it was in groups that are predominantly women.

Of course any time a man posts on those forums the women fall over themselves calling him a King for owning a few houseplants or fan themselves asking thirsty questions in the comments. What gives?

What's your "not-so-subtly misogynistic" story about your passions and hobbies? Surely I can't be alone!