Its ok to feel bitter

__kamikaze__ · 2021-07-07T18:30:20+00:00

I empathize with you. I can still think of situations and feel my blood pressure rise, or a pit in my stomach.

But then I realize… why would I want this person if they make me feel like shit? It’s very easy to have tunnel vision and ruminate over something. But in the meantime you’re wasting valuable time and energy, and potentially missing out on something that could actually make your life better.

MissouriBlue · 2021-07-07T18:45:15+00:00

There are steps to grieving and Anger is one of those steps.

You are grieving. Grieving the loss of the illusion, dream, potential partner, whatever.

But you are making progress.

Use that anger to help you identify the aspects you’ll not put up with again. Pick that rumination apart and identify the Red Flags you got bamboozled into overlooking and why that bamboozling was able to succeed. What will you do next time to prevent this happening?

Maybe journal your thoughts when they happen and look for a defining pattern. What is triggering these grief/memories?

Solid-Liquid · 2021-07-07T20:31:11+00:00

Listen, it’s been over a year and I’m still bitter at this man for chasing me for years, just to waste my time in the end. Finally deleted him off all my socials because I got tired of this idea of “me and my ex are cool”, like what he did (constantly groping me, only texting when the conversation is sexual, shit/no dates, 50/50) didn’t hurt and still affects me to this day (my friends have picked up that I HATE physical contact). I stayed “friends” to try to keep the peace, but I woke up and said “nah”

radsera99 · 2021-07-07T18:13:05+00:00

Men and society tell women it’s not okay to be angry about our bad treatment at the hands of men. Don’t stop being angry. Anger protects us.

motioncaptureF · 2021-07-07T17:19:23+00:00

I'm so happy that u r owning ur feelings and unapologetically validating them .. U have every right to be angry , mad and bitter ... Let urself feel it Write it all down Find a good way to process these emotions ... Then start ur healing journey ... 🥂💅

AngryTiger69 · 2021-07-07T20:20:52+00:00

Anger is a great emotion and it can make you strong if you channel it into the right things.

Be angry. But use it to motivate yourself to do better in your career, work out, etc

honeybadgerattitude · 2021-07-07T22:41:18+00:00

I used to not see the point of anger because my ex was constantly angry. But then I realised, it’s actually about what you do with your anger. He lets it fester and consume him and then inflicts misery on everyone around him. I flash with anger then quickly turn it into determination to make things better. Anger is a fuel, you just have to decide what you’re going to use it for.

vvioletwwitch · 2021-07-08T00:50:14+00:00

I think the bitterness is a natural part of healing tbh 💜 The only thing to do now is learn from it all and never let a partner treat you like that again. Set boundaries and stick to them, and give yourself all the love and energy you gave to him he didn’t give back.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-07-07T20:32:17+00:00

Wow! I could have written this word for word, Thanks!

shockingupdate · 2021-07-08T06:21:44+00:00

Thank you. It’s been a journey for me but getting though the bitterness has helped me to understand what I do and do not deserve. Bitterness can be useful!

wildkidz9 · 2021-07-08T00:13:04+00:00

I feel this so hard. If you ever want to talk, my DmS are open

Pufus2fus · 2021-07-07T22:27:52+00:00

You know.. I really really needed this today. Thank you so much for posting.

I've been a long time lurker. This post popped up in my feed after I saw all of the mean, nasty, untrue things that my NVX was saying about me in some reddit communities we both frequent. Of course that opened Pandora's box and made me look. Stupid mistake.

I'm bitter and angry that someone still feels the need to spread distortions of the truth (lies) about me to the world... two years after the breakup. Get a hobby bro.

showmewhoiam · 2021-07-07T22:02:18+00:00

Music tip FLETCHER - Bitter

HoneyBouquet · 2021-07-07T20:51:15+00:00

I dont feel bitter anymore. I feel relieved knowing I dodged a bullet

Big-Paleontologist13 · 2021-07-08T12:32:36+00:00

saving this one x

Snowmist92 · 2021-07-09T02:54:04+00:00

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this. My bitterness cane to surface since I have been crushing on a man for months. I have been single by choice for a long time now. My trust issues have been getting to me and I have been acting pretty cold.

Today, I was feeling very bitter while I thought about all the exs and how they treated me. I cried in the shower just remembering how I never received the love I wanted and that I should stay giving up. I had my body image mocked, was cheated on, abused both mentally and physically by men.

I even felt the need to lie about my longest relationship. I was in a pretty good long-term one that turned to shit. I feel like maybe this one I can leave out the dirty details just to look good on paper. Although I have been feeling optimistic about this new guy, I am hyper-aware and will walk away at the drop of a red flag. I'm afraid to even give him my number.

Possible_8787 · 2021-07-08T16:05:20+00:00

Expressed very well. I'm in the same space as you right now. Thought process and all.

Thank you for sharing this! Sometimes I feel alone in this.

Muriana_of · 2021-07-08T04:40:35+00:00

That bitterness is you honoring yourself and grieving what you sacrificed for a LVM. Luckily it’s behind you, and the bitterness will fade.

What’ll be left is pure love and respect for yourself, and not being able to settle for anything less from a partner.

Title	Its ok to feel bitter
Author	fallen-summer
Upvotes	359
Comments	22
Date	July 7, 2021 5:11 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ofncj9/its_ok_to_feel_bitter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/its-ok-to-feel-bitter.789287 https://theredarchive.com/post/789287

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