It's okay if you make a mistake. Growth isn't linear.

ColdxConfection · 2021-05-26T16:29:05+00:00

I believe there's a lot of women here who are still in relationships with LVM for a multitude of reasons, or act somewhat differently than what is preached, or disagree with some parts of the handbook. None of us are perfect or share the exact same values and patriarchy is a big battle we've all been fighting since birth. What's important is that we're all here and learning, and have this resource and community to fall back on. We are better united. You are trying to change against a system that has indoctrinated you since birth. Don't beat yourself up, be kind to yourself, sh happens.

MilkMadeMe · 2021-05-26T16:16:29+00:00

Here for you. No shame in learning and growing.

AdmiralRando · 2021-05-26T16:56:55+00:00

I think it takes a lot of practice to get rid of all the cultural garbage in your head. You’re gonna mess up and look back and cringe. It happens. That doesn’t change what your values and standards are. Keep going, sister!

haunted_vcr · 2021-05-26T18:30:11+00:00

Changing mindsets and beliefs that society has brainwashed you into since birth is a mammoth effort. You aren't slipping, you are seeing where the remnants of your problems are. This is how we learn.

Shaming yourself makes it harder. I think there's a lot of talk about LVW on here because we are trying to normalize self respect and because we have all been there.

Do something that makes you feel good today - a walk, call a friend, dance, anything.

the_moocher80 · 2021-05-26T17:06:53+00:00

This is something we should all remember. We won’t always get it right, levelling up is a choice we have to continue to make every day.

rivdidit · 2021-05-26T18:56:15+00:00

I messed up too and broke a rule on intimacy. And now the dude “suddenly” has to move away.

CoconutYogurtCEO · 2021-05-26T18:41:37+00:00

thank you - I needed this today. I did something so small that any rational objective person wouldn't see as a big deal or anything worth writing about but here I am overthinking and analyzing it and asking myself why I did it. I wouldn't say it is a mistake, but rather, it was unnecessary if my goal is working toward self-preservation. It felt like a betrayal of self and I've been beating myself up about it all day

candyfox84 · 2021-05-26T17:10:49+00:00

It's not you, it's the world out there. I sometimes feel like the minute I step out my front door, I'm subjected to it.

Elnoxis · 2021-05-26T16:48:28+00:00

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Hateorade_ · 2021-05-26T20:55:35+00:00

Thank you for this. I just finally blocked my ex LVM last night after he tried to get me to “catch up as friends” with him. I decided to ask him what a friend means to him and I am not kidding when I say this, he literally searches “friend” on google and sends me a screenshot of it. This is what did it for me—he then got mad because I asked him why he decided to catch up with me. I gave him a final message, then blocked his ass.

Here’s what I learned from this: don’t even give an LVM the time of day. No paragraph or angry message will change. I realized that he never changed—not months after the breakup. My ass definitely got bamboozled thinking he was going to change. But shit, was I wrong and I’m glad we had this discussion bc this is what made me realize that I didn’t do anything wrong by breaking up with him months ago.

rednopal · 2021-05-26T16:27:49+00:00

Lvw is an awful term to begin with. This sub could definitely offer a bit more room to be vulnerable, everyone is going to slip up at some point.

guesswho23 · 2021-05-26T19:16:26+00:00

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Elnoxis · 2021-05-27T05:33:26+00:00

I'm rooting for you. People who haven't been on the exact same spot will not understand what went through your mind and how you arrived at the decision you made at that time. As long as you acknowledge that you messed up and work on a plan to not repeat the same mistakes then you'll be fine. We are all human and we make mistakes sometimes. The important thing is that we learn from it and try not to do it again.

t3ddi · 2021-05-27T00:42:16+00:00

Love this. Keep going, you are doing just fine <3

MarieCurvy · 2021-05-27T00:53:05+00:00

I'm rooting for you!

Title	It's okay if you make a mistake. Growth isn't linear.
Author	guesswho23
Upvotes	341
Comments	33
Date	May 26, 2021 12:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nlf9f1/its_okay_if_you_make_a_mistake_growth_isnt_linear/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/its-okay-if-you-make-a-mistake-growth-isnt-linear.1188319 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188319

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