It’s the only way.

May-rah10 · 2020-07-02T20:11:48+00:00

Oh wow, this perfectly describes my friend’s situation! She met a homeless & jobless loser OLD & moved him into her home within 2 weeks because he is “the love of her life.” One year later, he still lives with her, she pays all of the bills, he treats her son (from a previous relationship) poorly, he doesn’t contribute at all and she’s contemplating filing for bankruptcy BUT she decided that she wanted to have a baby with this loser. She took her IUD out and got pregnant within 2 months. Oh and he also has 2 kids abandoned in another state. She also thinks he’s gonna help her when the baby is born! 🤦🏻‍♀️I just don’t get it!

Zambigulator · 2020-07-02T19:56:22+00:00

This should just be fire and gasoline, with even more gasoline thrown in it.

thealamo369 · 2020-07-02T22:44:29+00:00

This makes me want to vomit. I swear some women just put up with terrible relationships because they want to be a mom. Like girl just get a sperm donor and live your best life🙃

MissFuanch · 2020-07-02T20:49:08+00:00

Why does this happen??!!! A friend did that with her sometime emotionally abusive & distant and sometime emotionally vulnerable partner who let his family disrespect her. She did it to hold him cuz his behaviour made her think he’ll leave her as he doesn’t love her.

Needless to say he didn’t leave her and ate together but he got worse after the baby and after 6-7 years of marriage has become a bit decent. He’s still not giving her emotional security and love.

lexiconGND · 2020-07-03T00:43:05+00:00

It sounds terrible, but I had an abortion when i got pregnant with my ex’s baby years ago. I’ll never regret the decision, he was fucking terrible.

veruscka · 2020-07-02T20:27:55+00:00

Why is this so accurate lol

Ms_Tilly · 2020-07-03T02:13:09+00:00

My ex friend realized her high school sweetheart husband was an absolute shit husband after he became a father. What did she do? Got. Pregnant. Again. presumably to save the marriage. Well, now they are divorced and hate each other. As soon as you find out you're dealing with a shitty partner, just LEAVE. No reason to bring ANY children into it. Just lick your wounds and learn from the experience.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-07-02T22:29:40+00:00

I’m laughing but it hurts 🤦🏻‍♀️

GraveyardH2020 · 2020-07-02T21:59:11+00:00

I see no lies here 😂 my ex fiancé really really wanted us to have a baby. I was engaged to the guy so obviously I wanted that in some future capacity. We discussed me stopping my birth control, but I didn’t, because we were fighting a lot and I wasn’t so sure about him anymore and it was a volatile situation. The last thing we needed was a pregnancy. After he found out I was still taking Bc he assumed it was because I was cheating 🙄 no dude, it’s because you’re a crazy person and accusations like this are EXACTLY why we shouldn’t be having a kid!

hilariouslystated · 2020-07-02T22:53:26+00:00

Pretty much. Do they think babies have superpowers?

Moira_Spice · 2020-07-03T05:52:01+00:00

"I NEED to have a baby before it's too late!! I must reproduce before it's too late and I'm already with my man since 5 years (without marriage obviously!) And I don't have time to find a new man!"

I've seen this very often, you don't want to raise a baby with a shit father. It's gonna influence the baby. If you want absolutely a child and that you want some peace of mind (which will help you find someone acceptable), egg freezing is an option, adoption too.

yggiwtmiih · 2020-07-02T20:02:57+00:00

😂

2020-07-03T08:41:12+00:00

Meddling relatives/friends need to stop telling women "he'll settle down with the second baby" too (like that's the reason he's a deadbeat). I'm sure people who say things like that must have it in for them, they can already see she's in a hole and there they are trying to dig her in deeper. Ain't shit relatives/"friends" need to mind their own damn business, if they can't manage that they need to go.

Bovvsette · 2020-07-03T16:03:21+00:00

Do they think some magical paternal instinct will kick in and he'll become nurturing and soft? Girl, no, what you're doing is just dragging innocent baby straight into abusive and unfair relationship. Why would you do this? Some men aren't even aware of having children if they left the mother, there is no magical fatherhood transformation, he doesn't go through extreme body and hormone changes like women do. And he was most likely not taught to sacrifice everything for others, like women are, so this baby won't force him to do anything. He won't change. He won't suddenly step up his game and become loving and responsible if he wasn't before. You're just creating more thankless labor for yourself if he has no interest being involved. If you desperately want to be a mother, just save the pain and go to a sperm bank, get some good quality genes at least, since good quality fathers are a rarity. You'll know exactly what to expect and won't be as disappointed.

PrettyMochaDoll · 2020-07-02T21:49:01+00:00

And if it doesn’t work the first time they try again

StupidHappyPancakes · 2020-07-05T04:02:17+00:00

This is the one shred of dignity I kept in my abusive marriage because I flat out refused to breed with him unless he massively changed. He wanted a baby like a toddler wants a puppy, and he basically just wanted some other human to terrorize and demand adulation from. I said no way in hell will I give life to a child just so they can be abused by you. The scary thing is that I can guarantee that he has kids now and is just as much of a monster as he ever was.

Jehosheba · 2020-07-04T20:59:57+00:00

My mom thought that my sister and her husband having a baby would help them grow up. Worked a bit for my brother-in-law, but that's still a really stupid and irresponsible reason to hav ed a baby. My sister, who is the one who really wanted a baby and had to wear her husband down to give in to having a kid, has only gotten more lazy, self-absorbed, and irresponsible. Having a baby is not a solution to any of your problems!

Title	It’s the only way.
Author	elementalvirago
Upvotes	684
Comments	33
Date	July 2, 2020 7:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hk3co0/its_the_only_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/its-the-only-way.702133 https://theredarchive.com/post/702133

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