Hi y’all, I’m finally in a place where I can discuss this topic with no anger or sadness. It took me close to a year to stop feeling like a clownessa.

I waited for a proposal for 3 years. Yes, you read that right! Three years. He would give me timeline after timeline after timeline...all of which passed and was never fulfilled. Then he moved onto telling me it was my fault because I kept asking where the proposal was (this was 1.5 years into the wait.) So I tried to shut up and I did for a year or so at great personal cost. I was crying all the time and sad and I started to hate weddings and rings.

I found FDS and started speaking up and he ended telling me to shut up so he could surprise me. I didn’t take this and said he’d had years to surprise me. We ended up breaking up and he proposed to get me back but I couldn’t tell anyone we were engaged or wear the ring around his family. Yes I was a pickmeisha clown to accept this. I was thrilled he proposed at all.

After I got my head out of my ass and saw reality, we broke up. I’m still not able to look at rings and weddings (they literally disgust me) but I’m in a much better place mentally and in my level of esteem for myself.

Anyway, don’t be me, don’t wait for a proposal.