I’ve been seeing a few posts about women being insecure about their bodies and private parts and it’s no surprise, but still sad that many women don’t think they look “good enough”. I feel like I’ve reached a point where I’m more secure about my body, so I wanted to share with you ladies my journey of how I came to this point.

Throughout my middle school and high school years, I was very insecure about my body. As an Asian growing up in Canada, the beauty standards are always based on Eurocentric ideals. I’ve always been naturally thin and flat, so when I noticed all the other girls developing curves starting in middle school, I began constantly comparing myself to the other girls and I ended up with no self-esteem. I wish I had that curvy hourglass figure that all the other girls seemed to be developing and I was really insecure about my body. Since I grew up being ignored by guys, I came to the conclusion that they would only date Victoria Secret model tier girls, which would be impossible for me to achieve. My first boyfriend proved me wrong though, and I guess it’s because he was desperate to just get a girl.

Then I saw this video:

Women's Ideal Body Types Throughout History

I’m going to assume some of you have seen this video when it first came out and I remember finding it interesting how women’s ideal body types have been constantly changing throughout history, leading up to where we are now. At first, it just felt like just another history lesson watching how body ideals have evolved in the last century, but then the thought struck me that if the “ideal” body shape changed throughout history, wouldn’t the current hourglass shape be just another trend? In the current age of Instagram influencers, it’s sad but not surprising that many women are getting fillers, Botox, and plastic surgery to achieve the otherwise unachievable ideal body type that the typical influencer portrays on Instagram. This is just the current trend though, are the same women going to spend more money when the trend changes in the future?

The ideal body shape constantly changes to keep women insecure. Because how else is capitalism going to sustain itself if women don’t feel the need to constantly spend more money on their appearances?

The patriarchy is built on oppressing women by keeping us insecure. Ingrain a scarcity mindset in women and make us compete with each other for male attention so that we’re divided and conquered. However, It doesn’t have to be this way if we become more secure in our bodies and confident in ourselves. While self-love is not an easy process for women in this society, it is still achievable. When women are more secure and confident, we can see beauty ideals for what they truly are: a strategy to keep us down and distracted from fighting for real change and equality.

Trends come and go but each of us only has one body. Cherish, value, and nurture your body. After all, it’s the sacred temple that your soul lives in. If Instagram makes you feel badly about your body, delete it. If a guy negs you, don’t engage with him. If your boyfriend jokes about you having a “roast beef” vagina, replace him with a vibrator or something that will make you feel good about yourself. No man has the right to judge your private, most intimate parts and if he does, dump him sis. Love your body, ladies.