Lust can lead to bad decisions

Throoooowawayyyyy55 · 2020-07-27T02:57:13+00:00

You don’t miss him, you miss the way he made you feel.

The solution is to find a better substitute that makes you feel good. Not to be vulgar but yes, a vibrator can help.

JaneIre · 2020-07-27T03:22:32+00:00

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I spent so much time on a man that I finally dumped today and was utterly dickmatized. So much so that I accepted every little scrap of his time. He asked me to come over tonight at 5pm. An hour drive when I have work tomorrow and hadn’t heard from him all weekend. I almost did it too. But I changed my mind and ended things instead. In the last few hours, I’ve been thinking of the great sex I’m missing. The intimacy. But I can build that with someone else, along with a lasting mutually beneficial relationship where I am valued.

dior-not-war · 2020-07-27T02:55:10+00:00

Always masturbate before you reach out to someone. 9/10 times you’ll decide not to do it once you’re no longer horny lol

electroloop · 2020-07-27T03:55:42+00:00

I think a majority of us have a “in case of emergency, break glass and take dick” kind of person. Honestly, your vibrator will guarantee you an orgasm without the emotional trauma and risk of STDs.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-07-27T02:52:24+00:00

Get a vibrator

talldrankofH2O · 2020-07-27T04:33:36+00:00

I’m also gonna suggest a sex toy. Before I found FDS, I used to have those unsatisfying hookups and now my dildo has totally taken over. I haven’t had sex in a year & don’t even give scrotes the time of day anymore.

vowelsareimportant · 2020-07-27T12:24:32+00:00

Yes. Definitely. My exboyfriend was like a sex robot (good at sex, bad with intimacy. Zero emotion during it). He had a big dick, lots of stamina, wouldn't stop until I came, and he never came first. Consistently, every time was good-great.

I considered making him a FWB. I told myself having sex with him again wouldn't make me feel all lovey dovey and emotional because it never felt like that with him, it just felt good (it's like we never once made love, we just fucked). Because of that, I had to stop myself from hitting him up after the break up and being like, "let's just fuck occasionally". But thinking about sex with him also had me asking myself, from time to time, if our relationship was really that bad. The codependent in me kept talking to him for a bit so I could recommend self-help books and push him to see a therapist. I'd get lustful and think, he just needs a little work. Thankfully, I stayed strong and celibate.

What helped me was redirecting my fantasies. Any time you start thinking about him, think about another man. I no longer masturbate to the greatest hits, I have a pretend boyfriend for masturbating (who looks like Taron Egerton and can do exactly what my ex could plus intimacy).

2020-07-27T03:09:10+00:00

All the time.

samarsharqi · 2020-07-27T04:00:16+00:00

Lust can lead to bad decisions even when the sex wasn’t that good (or it was good but infrequent aHEM aHEM broken boners aHEM ). Unfortunately our vaginas care little for our hearts or brains. Selfish organs

apple_cores · 2020-07-27T04:55:30+00:00

Yup. But I crave more than just the actual dick and fucking. I love intimacy: kissing, touching, feeling physically close to someone, watching them be turned on. I have a vibrator and I used it and I still crave sex. Also if you don’t have a vibrator, the shower head or faucet is amazing.

Pahapan · 2020-07-27T06:40:16+00:00

Part of the reason why I kept going back to my LVM ex was because he was good in bed. Not good enough to actually give me an orgasm, but the best I've had to date. It was a vicious cycle. He actually did me a favor by threatening me with physical violence the last (and final) time I broke up with him because I just can't be sexually attracted to someone I feel unsafe around.

Lust really can cloud your judgement but you need to make the conscious decision to not be ruled by your hormones, to think with your brain and not your vagina. Buy a vibrator and get rid of him for good.

milkycocoa-puff · 2020-07-27T07:32:49+00:00

Hey girl, yes!! I know exactly how it goes. Honestly, I feel like my vibrator has desensitized me, so I’m hesitant to continue using it. Also, as other people in the comments have mentioned, a lot of it has to do with the way we feel in the presence of others. I need to find other ways of feeling sexy and desirable that don’t involve pleasuring someone who doesn’t have my best interest at heart. At the end of the day, dick is abundant & of low value. If he’s already disrespected you or hurt you, move on & don’t look back. You got this sis!

lupeytoons · 2020-07-27T11:36:11+00:00

Exactly, I’m done giving someone else pleasure when I end up with pain. As much as I tried to convince myself I was using men for sex as much as they were using me, I still end up needing more.

And you’re right! I’m trying to do everything as closely as I can to the FDS handbook, but I know we also have to do things in a slightly different way for our individual needs. I hope it leads to better things for both of us as well!!

jewdiful · 2020-07-27T22:47:51+00:00

That shit always fades. You could waste months or years fucking him until it gets stale, which it always eventually does with LVM. Or you could take comfort in the fact that you ended it now saving yourself time and emotional energy. Just project yourself months in the future when you’re tired of sex with him, and be happy you’re free! I totally relate to this btw, and I’ve been the one who stayed in a relationship with a LVM where the sex was fire. But then it got stale and boring, and when I finally emerged from the fog I was like “what am I doing? Why have I wasted so much time? His dick actually isn’t that great and sex is such a chore now. Without that there’s nothing left”

veruscka · 2020-07-27T16:21:39+00:00

Totally agree. Lust can make you forget what you know. After a breakup, it’s normal for your body to go through a chemical process of withdrawal from an ex, read up on oxytocin withdrawal. Pleasure yourself and know it will go away in time lol.

jewdiful · 2020-07-27T22:47:56+00:00

That shit always fades. You could waste months or years fucking him until it gets stale, which it always eventually does with LVM. Or you could take comfort in the fact that you ended it now saving yourself time and emotional energy. Just project yourself months in the future when you’re tired of sex with him, and be happy you’re free! I totally relate to this btw, and I’ve been the one who stayed in a relationship with a LVM where the sex was fire. But then it got stale and boring, and when I finally emerged from the fog I was like “what am I doing? Why have I wasted so much time? His dick actually isn’t that great and sex is such a chore now. Without that there’s nothing left”

Title	Lust can lead to bad decisions
Author	LunaValley
Upvotes	74
Comments	28
Date	July 27, 2020 2:51 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hyk83o/lust_can_lead_to_bad_decisions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lust-can-lead-to-bad-decisions.718998 https://theredarchive.com/post/718998

Comments